Friday, May 7, 2010

We spelt my fiance's father's name wrong....

Dear ESB,

We have had fancy custom letterpress invitations made and shipped over to us in the UK. We approved all the proofs. We've just opened them and realised that we have spelt my fiance's father's name wrong. We approved the proofs, we are at fault. The invitations need to go out in three weeks time, we can't afford the time or the money to get the whole suite reprinted. What would East Side Bride do? Options:

1. Speak to future father in law, apologise and send out invites
2. Speak to future father in law, apologise and send out invites with name corrected on them by a caligrapher who won't be able to make them look perfect.
3. Scrap the beautiful expensive invites and get some horrid cheap crummy rush job ones
4. Another option?


4. Redo the invites. The beautiful, expensive invites. Call the printers, explain what happened, stress that you understand it's completely your fault, and tell them you're willing to pay for a rush order.



  1. ...but she said they couldn't afford that option, time-wise or money-wise.

    Another course of action might be to contact the printers and ask if they would be willing to send a digital file of the design, with the correction, that could then be printed normally instead of letterpressed. Yeah, you don't get the whole look you wanted, but at least you get some of it. And you can get it done locally (faster and cheaper). I brought a digital file to a local printshop and had postcard Save the Dates two days later (225 for $60).

  2. how bad a spelling error are we talking here?

    i would say call dad-in-law and ask him what he thinks. he may laugh it off. and you can include a funny little note with the invite explaining how you're so excited about getting married that you can't be bothered with silly things like knowing your dad-in-law's name.

  3. really depends on the man/family.

    my dad would laugh it off. we had an error in ours (i know.) and we included a great little note.

    but, contact them just in case. it might be cheaper than you think to correct it? depending on how they were all set up.... at the very least the should be willing to send you a digital file, as suggested above.

    good luck.

  4. hah...i misspelled my own father's name and didn't even catch it! he did! but, he totally understood and the only people that REALLY knew were some of the family members. he actually called me up laughing and i thought it was a joke until i looked closer!

    i definitely think it depends on the man in this situation.

  5. As a broke-ass, the idea of having to pay for twice the invites makes me ill. Send them out. Pretend you didn't catch the error. Tell FIL it is the printers fault. I fully support lying to get out of any jam.

  6. I'm with ESB, redo them. If you can't afford the expense of redoing them, have the calligrapher fix it even though it won't look perfect.

    I know it depends on the man etc., and everyone seems to think that it should be okay if you include a little note but I don't think so. Names are important, and it is more important to honor the people on the invite than for the invites to look absolutely perfect.

  7. Oh no!

    I just finished painstakingly hand-letterpressing our invitations - all three pieces of them - and I just now noticed that I misspelled hors d'oeuvres (hors d'oeurves, so embarrassing!) on one of the three pieces. I totally get your frustration.

    It's worth contacting your designer and asking for help. They have the file, it may be easy for them to make a new plate, and they may give you a discount on the printing if they feel bad. If they won't, ask for the file and get a plate made at boxcar (or some local spot if you can find one), then contact some local printers to see if they mind printing for you. I'll bet you can find someone affordable.

  8. I kinda agree.. reprinting may be the option. I have a BEAUTIFUL letter press recommendation, here in So Cal who is DIRT CHEAP (compared to most letter pressers I've found).

    Good luck!!!!

  9. I would have them redone and beg and plead with the invitations company to put a rush on it. I'm sure they would be able to do it.

  10. I'd talk to your father in law- just tell the truth. I wouldn't like to be the person whose name got stuffed up and then also be the cause of more stress and feel like I couldn't be confided in (if I found out, that is- but whether he found out or not doesn't matter- its the principle). I think he would feel happy that your comfortable enough with him to talk to him about it, rather than try and hide it and cause more stress to yourselves.

  11. Depends on the father. If he thinks it's rather funny then just send them.

    Or show it to him and see if he even notices.

    People will probably not notice, date and place is important.

  12. maybe you could get a handful of the fancy ones redone--like 5 or something, so the fiance's parents have a lovely keepsake with the name spelled correctly.

    Then call the finace's father in law and explain, apologize up and down, and call it a day.

  13. its not worth the time, worry, frustration, anything. if he can't laugh it off, he's hopelessly un-fun anyway. just give him a heads up

  14. Call the printer. Apologize profusely. Ask for your options. They might give you the best deal they can (I would). Weddings are magic that way.

    Or send them out and apologize to your father in law. You don't want a shitty rush job on your invites, really.

  15. So stressful. Get a few invites re-done for the in-laws/people who are going to notice.

    Send the ones you have out to everyone else.

  16. How bad a misspelling? As someone with an uncommon name, I am so used to seeing my name spelled wrong that I wouldn't blink at it.

    (And I'm not that easy going and I wouldn't laugh about it, but it wouldn't make me hate you forever.)

  17. We did the *exact* same thing with our invitations. Honest to God. Except rather than fancy custom letterpress invitations, ours were heart-breakingly detailed, made ourselves, constructed from overpriced paper & embellishments invitations.
    After I screamed and cried and threw them all in the bin what we did was to go ahead and send the ones with incorrect spelling to my family and our friends (after I fished them out of the bin) and re-did invitations for his family.
    I would recommend you do the same, as with the benefit of hindsight I am still 100% happy with our decision.
    I suppose the only thing to consider is how obvious the typo is. My husband's father's name is not common, so we were pretty sure only family would notice the mistake.
    Best of luck.

  18. Argh! Typos are awful - I was the marketing person at my old job and always approved proofs, often-times making mistakes and having to do the runs twice, at a cost of thousands to the company. It always happens. You can't read something over and over and not have your mind wander off.

    My name is spelled weird and it's never spelled correctly. I would never want someone to re-run their invites just to correct it. If the ADDRESS was wrong, or date, or time, or something that would end up with your guests wandering around lost, then it's worth it. For something that's really between you and your fiancé’s father, it may not be worth it, especially if you don't feel you have the funds for it. Weddings are expensive and it's easy to get so lost in the details that you focus on and have to have everything perfect. I'm with everyone who says talk to the dad. Names ARE important, and they should be honored (since my name is weird, spelling and pronunciation, I really make sure to get other people's right as a sign of respect). Your future FIL may feel that you can honor him better by prudent spending.

    I think the note with the invitation is unnecessary and will just draw attention to the typo.

    And just to share. Just yesterday my mom and I put together 10 extra invitations (returned invitations, people we added after the first batch was sent out, etc.) I realized after everything was put together (including the hand calligraphy I did on the envelopes AND the stamps AND the hand made and fastened envelope liners) that I had forgotten to put stamps on the RSVPs). There was some yelling and tearing of paper. Then we redid them. Doo. I'm still mad!

  19. I'm with ESB and other the printer and see what the reprinting options are. Maybe they'll give you a discount and a rush order (I'm assuming it's only the main invite and not any additional maps or rsvp cards) . Even if your FIL is fine with sending out invites with the misspelling it makes you look foolish to anyone who notices (and people will notice). At least look into the options....the second best option is to have the calligrapher change least people will know you cared about the mistake.

  20. If it were me, I'd talk to FIL and see what he thinks. If he's upset, reprint the whole lot or get them fixed. Definitely.
    As a paper slut, I would find a rush job more upsetting than having a calligrapher change it. And having someone change it would be upsetting too, but even if your FIL doesn't care, I still think a name is very important and should be fixed.

    If he thinks it's funny, I'd figure out who how many corrected ones you really need. Non-family members, relatives you don't know very well, co-workers, etc. Then speak to the printer and see what they can do about that. They may be able to cut you a deal on the whole lot, but if you only need 50 or so that may help. And throw in an extra one, just for your FIL. Even if he thinks it's funny, it would still be nice. OR, if that's still too expensive, having a calligrapher correct only a few might help on the costs.

    And for the rest, make it a joke for your family and close friends. My family would find it hilarious and would love a chance to poke fun at us. So a mini post-it with an arrow pointing to it saying "2 college educations and we still can't spell," or "The subject of many Thanksgiving dinner fights to come..." Something silly that your family would know and appreciate. OR, put a note in there offering up a prize to the people who can spot the mistake. That way you still get your pretty invites and the mistake is acknowledged and owned up to. If there is inter-familial snarkiness about it, there would be some if you didn’t correct anyway, just because haters wanna hate.

    Your family may not be as goofy as mine, so these may be horrifying options. I hope it works out!

  21. I cringe thinking about spending so much money all over again. Maybe you could get a discount or do as someone else said and get the template so that you can get them printed cheaper.

    I read that someone used a cute note. I wouldn't mind that. It could be kind of adorable in hindsight.

  22. Can you try the, "in ____ (5, 15, 50, etc.) years, will this matter?" approach?

    Definitely talk to his father, though; most of our family would be *much* more upset by us spending extra money to fix them.

  23. I usually *love* ESB as a voice of sanity (financially, but primarily individuality and avoidance of arcane bother)where weddings are concerned. On this one, sorry, I was sadly disappointed and thought harrumphing thoughts while reading it. Then I got off my high horse and felt utterly awful for you. I think Kyley's suggestion is probably the most practical. But my thinking on it in general is that ditching something at the slightest provocation and starting over again is not, perhaps, the sort of action that you might want to reflect your future life together. Whereas some humour, some compromise, or a small correction (that somebody who hasn't been stressing over the invites may never notice) is just adding some more character to you and both of your day. I'm sure by now you've got it all sorted, but am hoping for the best for you :)

  24. Wow yeah, I would not re-print them. Depending on the personality of the dad, i'd either phone to laugh it off, add a note to the invitation, or feign complete ignorance and blame the printer. Nothing's going to explode if there's a mistake on there!

  25. Eh. I think I'm with Meg. But lady, you have my commiserations!