Monday, November 22, 2010

Rocking the mother-in-law's pearls

Dear ESB,

Here's my dilemma: my future mother in law has asked me to wear a pearl necklace to my wedding that has sentimental value to her. Here is a link to the David's Bridal dress I'll be wearing. On my curvy figure the dress comes across as a little more sexy than it does on the model in the picture. The pearls are small, single strand and fall just below the collar bone. I think the necklace and dress look perfectly fine together and I want to wear it since it seems to mean a lot to her. But the look is
very simple and classic and doesn't really feel like my style. I've been thinking about layering a few necklaces together, but I'm worried that it might offend her if I wear more than one necklace. Also I'm wearing my hair down and I wonder if a bunch of necklaces, plus lots of hair, plus a sparkly dress is going to be too much? I actually don't usually wear much jewelry.

I've known her five years now and we are fairly close. I could talk to her about it but I feel like she's the type of person who would say it was ok when she was actually upset about it (or completely misunderstand my intent), so I'd like to have a better idea of what I want to do before I bring it up. If I do decide to wear more than one necklace when is the right time to tell her? I might feel kind of funny just showing up to the wedding like that without mentioning it first.


According to the Allure I picked up at the salon the other day, "A single strand of pearls is dated; a bold necklace of imperfectly knotted ones is strong and stunning."

But you knew that already.

Just tell your FMIL that you've decided to go a little nuts with the necklaces. This is your big day to be sparkly! Surely she won't begrudge you that.

p.s. Will someone please get married in this Vera Wang bustier?


  1. Go for a bunch! If you have a couple of other necklaces that mean something to you... or you could borrow them form friends/family. This way you are wearing lots of sentimental jewelry. No one can argue that. ;)

  2. You could also maybe do sentimental, classic pearls for the ceremony, and then swap a fun sparkly necklace for the party?! I did this and it was fun!

  3. If you are going to go for the layering necklaces route (which I think is a fantastic idea), you could do a pearl necklace theme from other women of significance in your life like a from academichic:

  4. I love Peggy's idea to wear several strands all borrowed from people you love is a great idea!

    Beware: My MIL and I have been friends for many years, but things regarding the wedding were really REALLY touchy to her.


  5. You could wear it round your wrist and get a more funky pearl necklace to wear with it maybe?

  6. This is my question, thank so much for answering!

    Kate K, thanks for sharing that link, I love that look and the neckline is similar to the one on my dress! I have a longer double strand of pearls from a great aunt - I bet I could achieve something similar. Plus, I feel like there's less chance to offend if the other necklaces are sentimental as well!

  7. Is she GIVING you the necklace? If so, have it restrung to be less classic - maybe really long with the pearls spaced out.

    Or wear it as a bracelet.


    Lanie J

  8. Okay my two cents! I wore the SAME dress that you are! And I am a curvy girl and wore my hair down! I loved the classic look of the dress. I felt like a starlet! I wore a single gold necklace with my baby ring on it. Thats it. I did wear my MIL's pearl earrings though. Honestly, wear what you want to wear girl! It's your day. =)

  9. please PLEASE do not wear someone else's pearl necklace as a bracelet- pearls are delicate, and this strand has sentimental value to your future MIL- wear it as a necklace; add some more strands, maybe even several colors of pearls? but don't risk damaging it!

  10. Another dress twin here! (
    I wore my hair up, but I had medium size pearls that were my gandmother's and almost layered it with other strands.

    But in the end, sentimental value won out...well, sentimental value was part of it, but mostly anything longer got stuck in my cleavage and looked tacky. (Curvy too.) But if you can rock it, then rock it!

    But I echo rosindubh211, pearls are not as sturdy as they look. If you just can't make it work as a necklace, is it possible to carry it in your bouquet?

  11. How about wrapping the pearls around your bouquet?

  12. I say wear what you want around your neck as that will be the view that is immortalized in all the pictures. I would wrap the necklace around your wrist where it would look like a couple of strands of pearls. You said you are wearing your hair down but if there is any part up maybe you can work it into your hair.

    Finding something unique to do with it would be a fun way of incorporating your MIL into your wedding that I'm sure she's appreciate.

  13. Agree with Julie above - clasic for ceremony, bling for after?


  14. I'd wear it around my wrist - funky yet still sentimental.

  15. ok i would say "im actually thinking of wearing a couple necklasses with yours" and show her what you mean. maybe she'll totally understand it. maybe mention that if she thinks its offensive then your totally okay with just wearing her necklass then your giving her the option. maybe also mention the around the wrist, that sounds cute.