Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dear ESB: we're eloping and I'm on dress #3

Brandy just emailed me:

Reading your blog for a while now and L.O.V.E it so I thought I would ask you this very important question and hopefully you (or your readers) can come up with an answer. See we're eloping(shhhh) after ten years of dating and I'm having a bit of a dress dilemma. I'm currently on dress #3. I won't get into the deets of the first two but the third I'm confident will make it to city hall. It's JCrew and it's cotton and it's...plain:

I want to dress it up some but obviously not too much as were getting hitched early afternoon. But I want it to look less summer dress and more unique and awesome wedding dress that just happens to be cotton. I'm a wee bit eccentric so I'm willing to hear any and every idea that is thrown at me. I'd normally be able to figure it out myself but with less than 22 days to go I'm focused on other things. I think I'll be wearing a short bubble veil and my hair in a messy bouffant. But neither of these are set in stone. Oh and shoes suggestions?

Please help me!


Um, I thought the whole point of eloping was to avoid worrying about this sh*t. You throw on a little dress, eff the veil, and run off to city hall. You did say you're getting married at city hall?

p.s. J. Crew is neither unique nor awesome.


  1. I want to laugh, but you're kind of coming off as an asshole. And not in your funny, usual way.

    But hey. Fuck me, right?

  2. hmmmm, i am so sick of people posting things that they don't want associated with them as anonymous.just own it.

  3. i think ESB's "neither unique nor awesome" point is that if you get something mass-market when that's not your style, you have to style the shit out of it yourself: plain, in this case, is your palette. (i know mass-market myself: i bought a white ABS prom dress, of all things, to rip up for my own wedding).

    were i you, brandy, i'd go find (or make) a badass stencil and tag that j.crew with silver spray paint. banksyweddingdress! it would be epic. or embroider something along the hem. or tear the hem from the hem. or singe the hem with a lighter and wear black shoes.

  4. THAT I would like to see at city hall.

  5. agreed, eloping is supposed to be uncomplicated and stress-free. just reading that email stressed me out.

  6. ESB, I love you, but I also have an unhealthy love of J.Crew dresses, so I can sympathize.

    I say, stick with the messy boufant, the bubble veil, some amazing shoes and add some kind of fun belt. The point is to have fun, right? So if shopping is fun for you, get shopping. Or if being crafty is fun for you, craft it up (I would love to see sweet quilting hexagons appliqued randomly on the dress, but that's just me).

  7. Now, now, Nomi.

    Some of us cannot help ourselves.
    And I would want a dress if I were eloping. I would I would.

    What about something like Kimi's dress?

  8. ah, a girl can't help wanting a cute dress.

    i kinda wanna see dresses #1 and #2.

  9. TOTS wanna see #1 and #2.

    And for the record I said THROW ON A LITTLE DRESS. I never said, "Don't wear a dress." Nor did I imply that you should not wear a CUTE DRESS.

    J. Crew lovers.

  10. I really think that this email is far too stressful for an elopment.

    I hate to say it, but I don't think I was *this* stressed on my actual wedding day. Worrysome. Poor non-bride...

    Anyway, I second Rachel's comment. What's more is, she just opened an etsy shop ( so you could probably find some sort of lovely belt from her, given that you're close to the count down!

    And yes. Lauren, you're right about the mass-market deconstruction. Sometimes it has to be done, because there's nothing else out there.

  11. I agree with anonymous, this girl is coming to you for help, complementing you, and you insult the one thing she has done with 22 days to go.

    kinda not helpful.

    at least your commenters are.

  12. Oh, Brandi, Nomi just has a unhealthy level of dislike for J Crew. don't mind her. She said the same to me (in person) when I was thinking about J Crew shoes for the wedding.

    But yes. I like deconstructing a-la-Lauren, though that may be a little over the top for an elopement 22 days away. That sort of stresses me out. Lauren's low key crafty like that, I'm just not.

    So. I do think Nomi has a little point about the elopement, and how you owe it to yourself to dial down the stress level. My advice: pick the dress of the three that makes you feel happiest and most like yourself (J Crew or no J Crew), wear some bright shoes or just do what I did and wear the shoes you love the most in your closet and tuck a penny inside for luck, do the messy bofount, throw on a veil or maybe a big mess of feathers in your hair, and run up those steps. Because really, the F*ck This attitude is the best accessory a girl could ever wear to her own wedding.

  13. I was going to say I was humorously suprised by the harshness, but it seems that a buncha folks took it really seriously, so I'll say this:
    lighten up. Maybe J Crew abuses their workers and the planet in order to make their clothes. That sounds to me neither awesome, or (sadly) unique.
    So if you wanna wear J Crew, do it. (Incidentally, I do: it's at the top of my short list of places to shop for a wedding gown.) But isn't that razorlike, acerbic wit part of the reason we love ESB so? Let us not lose sight of what's the real priority here: two folks who are commiting to each other. Wear the dress that makes you feel great and f*ck whatever's causing stress about it.

  14. Ha ha! I love how divided we all are on this.

    It seems to me that if you are eloping in 22 days, you would have time to have fun with your outfit. I mean, you don't really have anything else to plan, right? That's the beauty of it. But don't stress over it! Only obsess over it if you're enjoying yourself (some of us enjoy obsessing a bit).

    My strategy in life is to obsess about things I actually care about and just go with the flow on everything else. And no fair caring about everything. You get one or two things, tops.

  15. You tots just came off as a major dick. Seriously, you shouldn't have posted this. That's pretty F*ing rude. People elope for other reasons too, like avoiding family drama and other crap, but they're still entitled to looking cute and getting into their wedding day. Brandy, sport a rad necklace ( and take a sweet bouquet. And make your witness take pics!

  16. Dude, ESB, whatever. It's your blog. Do what you want.

    In other news, I want to see #1 and #2.

  17. Dress #1 is putrid gold. BRANDY'S WORDS not mine.

    Dress #2 is sexy lace crochet-ish but no longer fits.

    Dress #3 I happen to think has an excellent "Oh this? Yeah, I'm rockin this." vibe. I just rag on J. Crew becauseyouallloveitsofuckingmuch.

  18. ok, brandy.
    i think your messy bouffant would look hot with the plain dress and some bright red lipstick. and if you do decide to do the veil, i'd go with something way un-wedding-y to counterbalance. like a leather jacket.

  19. Actually, the stellas lauren suggested made me think leather jacket.

    Did you see this?

  20. If you are eloping in 22 days why are you counting down the days? Couldn't you just go to city hall and elope? No count down required?

  21. i'm no good at advising on shoes. i like cheap. and it's never a good idea to buy cheap shoes. i just can't help myself.

    i effing bought fake louboutins for my wedding, for chrissake.

  22. I'm wearing a main-stream dress too--absolutely refused to go to a store with the word "bridal" in it. I'm not a sewer or particularly creative or crafty so deconstruction is NOT going to happen for me. Instead I'm wearing a kickass pair of red shoes, a red crinoline that shows out the bottom and an etsy peacock feather thingy in my hair. I was thinking about adding a belt/sash but I'm very short so probably not the best look for me. My dress is actually very similar but not strapless. With the "bubble" veil (do you mean bird cage but poofed up?) you could totally rock a modernized 50s look. Add a little sweater, big fake pearls, retro shoes...Have fune!!

  23. liz, I know you don't need me to berate you. *wearing* the shoes will be punishment enough.

  24. i'll have the photogs get pictures of my bloody stumps after.

  25. liz, i didnt even know they MADE fake louboutins.

    brandy. listen here, sister. rock that jcrew if you must. and just make sure you feel pretty and have a rockin' good time.

  26. how about a giant ass bib style necklace.

  27. Brandy here.
    Thanks Nomi for posting my question and everyone for their suggestions.

    My main problem is I like so many things that I need a little outside help to pin down what I really like. If I can find my vintage denim jacket I love the idea of wearing that, although it is held together with about a pound of safety pins.

    We're eloping in another city that we go to yearly so theres a bit of planning going into it. We were planning a bigger wedding but due to health reasons we cancelled them. Which is also why I sound stressed(which I didn't even realise I sounded stressed until everyone said I was! Guess I should book a massage!)

    A bubble veil is a shorter veil with pouf, big in he late 50's and early 60's I think. I'm big on pouf. The only jewellery I plan on wearing is my Nanny's vintage charm bracelet.

    Thank you again Nomi and ladies for your suggestions.

  28. So - at risk of the rotten tomatoes - how do you feel about Boden? For non-wedding-purposes, unless you happen to be more creative than I am?

  29. I do not know this Boden. But I do happen to like Madewell, which is owned by J. Crew, so who am I to throw stones??

  30. Well, I think everyone needs to calm the fuck down?

    Glad to see ESB and Brandy are chill and own it. Thank goodness, otherwise, I'd take a lighter to my computer screen.

  31. I think J Crew, or any other mainstream label, can be transformed into awesome with a little bit of love and creativity. If you love this dress, Brandy, then go for it. Rock it out with a gi-normous bouffant, kitty-cat eyes a la Anna Karina and maybe throw on some rocktastic jewelry. (oh and send along the pics)

  32. Bitch pleeaze- you know how much I loved my jcrew wedding shoes.

    I love you.

  33. I got J Crew shoes for my wedding and I'm pretty happy with them. They have a vintage look to them and are amazingly fun.

    I agree, I think it's kind of a shitty response. To some extent with all of these wedding blogs out there telling you to be different and to do this or that unique thing maybe wearing J Crew is the most f u statement to the wedding blog industrial complex.

  34. I heart that dress! So simple and pretty. As it's cotton you can dye it after to wear, if you want to...

    Have fun on your day :D

  35. What's/who's J crew?
    From bemused Londoner!

  36. C'mon Duke. I know you have GOOGLE in the UK.