Tuesday, January 26, 2010

what to wear to a boudoir shoot


I have a question for you. I won a boudoir shoot with a local photographer and I'm excited to really own it for myself, step into character a bit, and come out with some great photos. However, I don't really want the standard be-sexy-for-him poses I often see. I want to be sexy-for-me (which of course translates into sexy for everyone, but whatever).  So, I'm looking for non-trite boudoir style "clothes" and accessories that won't kill the bank.  I loved Feather Love's shoot here, but I'm looking for even more ideas too. If you have local LA store, hair, and makeup recommendations, that would be super, though I won't complain about good online resources too. 




You know what I think is sexy? The naked body.

You know what isn't? A "boudoir shoot." Ick.

Image by She Hit Pause via Art Threat


  1. for a second there i thought you had lost it.

  2. Haha this post cracked me up. In the UK we have a tv show by a great stylist, Gok Wan. He gets women who hate their bodies, dresses them up, boosts their confidence, so far so good. But as "part of the process" they do a nude shoot and appear naked before friends and family on a catwalk show. WHY GOK WHY?!?!


    Recent converstion with David:

    M: So I've been thinking. Maybe Boudoir shoots are the kind of thing women think men are into, but men are not into.
    D: You're finally learning.


    D: Because seriously. What the heck would I do with that??

  4. aw.

    i always feel sorta bad for questioners who seem to have never read your blog before, or something.

  5. Wow... maybe I thought wrong, but I guess I had always thought that a boudoir shoot would be a.)fun, and b.)help a girl feel good about herself if it's the right photographer. I guess I'd do it for me before I did it for a guy. but I guess maybe that's just me?

  6. posing for someone other than my guy would give me the skeevies

  7. I love you.

    And Lauren. And David.

  8. (I do not love boudoir shoots)

  9. hahahaha. you crack me up. i tittered aloud at my desk when i read this.

    completely agree.

    this trend is even more freaking bogus than engagement shoots.

  10. 1. i really enjoyed those feather love shots, but more because i was totally jealous of her hotness. not because boudoir makes any sense to me.

    2. let's all listen to david for a minute. i've always said the reason i do not wear lingerie is because men don't give two shits what you wear to bed. their ultimate goal is to get you naked. that's easier, cheaper, and less mortifying than lingerie...

    3. i'm not sure how i feel about naked pictures either. something about forcing sexy in front of a camera is not sexy to me at all. let's be honest with ourselves, there are the girls who just naturally exude sex appeal (feather love girl), and then there are the rest. i definitely fall in the category of "the rest".

    oh, and i love you.

  11. Thanks for posting when you could have just replied and let the rest of us think we were alone in thinking "ick."

  12. Poor thing. If she wants to do a boudoir sesh, who are we to get in her way? Sounds like she won this photo shoot, and she wants to use it. Here you go, B, for inspiration:


    Good luck to you!

  13. I think there is a lot to learn here from 1) the post 2) the commenters and 3) the photography in nicole's link.
    My perspective changed several times throughout the comments until I clicked RockNRollBride's blog post. Pretty bad arse.
    In a nutshell, it really really depends on the artists behind the shoot (e.g. the model AND the photographer)!

  14. B here. I appreciate the sanity check. And I knew exactly what I was getting into when I sent the question here. Maybe that's what I really wanted underneath all the angsty weirdness about what to do with it all.

    Because here's the thing - I'd never have bought a boudoir shoot, but I won in a general contest (I'd have preferred a free full-photo package for the wedding, but oh well.) So, since I have this free session I thought I may as well have fun with it. But it's hard to figure out the fun when it's this weird bridal THING now.

    I hate what I see in most boudoir stuff around the weddingweb (and I hate that it's so public, ick), and I hate hate HATE the idea of boudoir FOR men (which is what I tried to say, ish) but I like the IDEA of boudoir-for-self. And I like the idea of playing with style and clothes and makeup without screaming LINGERIE AND CHEAP SEX AND SEXYFACE PHOTOS. But trying to get at that cool "self" part and not the engagement-y bridal beast part of it is hard.

    Hence a dear ESB question and a plea for style (not boudoir help, I suppose.) I should have expected the minefield response.

  15. LA love- i did a pinup shoot. ala www.celestegiuliano.com. it wasn't so much for him- i just have this sick desire to live in a different era or something.

    it wasn't oversexed. it was actually kinda tongue-in-cheek.

    but i think it would only work if that was your "thing." which i could see why it might not be.

  16. i can't even walk into a lingerie store w/o getting creeped out. (i think this is mostly due to the fact that i'm afraid someone w/ a nasty crotch has tried it on and there i am toching it). so i guess these boudoir picture ideas skeeve me out. but if she is comfortable with it, she should do it...

  17. funny thing is. i totally agree with most of this conversation. which is specifically WHY i shot that session as more of a nude/vintage/art/shoot, although I couldn't post the actual full nudes since my client didn't want them on the internets 'n stuff. i have been shooting nudes since I was like 14. before people started calling them "boudoir". anytime anyone asks me to shoot one, i always say it has to be my way if they want me to do it, fully inspired by old penthouse photography, my biggest inspiration. i always tell them that i don't & won't do the FHM or Maxim thing, it's not my style & I'm not into it. i actually think i did a pretty good job shooting this nude session without making it look all cheezed out & boidoir-ish. but hey, it's certainly not for everyone. oh btw, this client wore her OWN lengerie and I styled the accessories, shades, hat, jacket etc from my vintage collection. no skeevy germs were shared besides 2 bottles of wine (one for each, no germs) and the entire Zodiac Blowfly record, which is fully filfthy ;) i do find this whole conversation to be very interesting & agreeable, albeit ironic, considering it seemed to be specifically aimed at my shoot, initially, which is sort of the antithesis of modern boudoir, yo. how come nobody picked up on that? meh, whatevs peeps.

  18. while it is true that guys will be happy with you getting naked out of a sweatshirt just as much as sexy undies, there are times for both. Sometimes its nice to feel like you are worth the extra effort! Don't forget also that men are from mars and we seek/need physical affection for much different reasons.

  19. yo, feather love? your shots are gorgeous.

  20. @ LA Love if this is something you want to do for YOURSELF, then honestly i can't relate, but that's pretty bad ass. any lady who can hang out half naked in front of a camera (that doesn't get paid to do so) must be fairly confident about her body and i think we can all agree that that's something we strive for. as for where to shop... i have no clue. sorry.

    @esb so joe won't comment because "blogging is for girls", but the conversation went something like this...

    c: what are your thoughts on boudoir shoots?
    j: what's a boudoir?
    (explanation follows)
    j: (laughs) why? do you want to do that?
    c: no.
    j: good, because i don't know what i would do that.

    *i swear they're all the same*

  21. "D: Because seriously. What the heck would I do with that??"

    Um I know exactly what my guy would do with that, and I'd rather it be pictures of me than someone else...

    Maybe it's something some guys are more into than others. And I think it's great when ladies take it as an opportunity to feel good and empowered about themselves.

  22. @Julia
    As David and I discussed, pleasing one's self is nature’s way of allowing us to not be monogamous, while being monogamous, if you get my drift. No one wants pictures of ones actual spouse for that (unless, say, you are separated by thousands of miles). Let’s call a spade a spade, yeah?

    @LA Love
    No. Way. Is. This. Your. Question!!!! Ok, but seriously, girlfriend, step away from the boudoir shoot idea. Step away. Stepped away now? Ok, time to recalibrate. Time for an ART SHOOT. Sounds like you want an art shoot, so do an art shoot. But again, call it what it is (you'll feel less dirty). Go look at some Dita Von Tease pictures, or some Alfred Stieglitz shots of O’Keefe. I’m not sure it's up any GUYS alley, but if you are doing it for you, do it for you. That said? Not sure I'd want that to be with my WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER. And I’m not sure ‘it’s free’ is a good enough reason for something like this, it needs to be ‘I’m really into this.’ Because, let me just say, having racy photos of you existing in the world? IT’S A REALLY BIG COMMITMENT AND YOU NEED TO MEAN IT, AND BE FINE WITH IT FOREVER. Please do not kid yourself.

    Huh. I think we agree. I like nudes (and I totally dig you wanting to shoot them.) But maybe we can call them something else and not pretend they are related to weddings, and make us all feel more comfortable? ;) And, I have NO idea what most "modern boudoir" shoots even look like. I'd like it not to be a thing.

    Let’s just call it nudes, if we're doing nudes, yeah? Nudes are awesome; boudoir is gross on about 700 levels.

    Side note to everyone else: *I* think nudes are rad. I've seen no evidence that *guys* think nudes of their partners are rad.

  23. Yes, I know exactly what guys will use them for. As long as they are hot, like the Feather Love shoot and not cute-sy. If you're doing it for him, think about your intended audience (although I don't think most guys are super picky when it comes to naked photos) when you style the shoot. If you're doing it for you, think about what you want to look like. He'll probably like it regardless.

    As long as you're comfortable with your photographer and think you'll actually enjoy it, go for it. Especially if it's already free.

  24. Hmmmm...

    @Meg - I guess I can see why you're skeeved out by the term boudoir shoot. It doesn't really get to me, so I'm already thinking of it as a nude photo shoot.

    I would argue against making it one more thing on the endless list of pre-wedding things to do. But I'm all for nude photo shoots if someone chooses to do one, regardless of when they're doing it. Um, maybe I just like nude photo shoots? Especially if the subject doesn't feel the need to be sexified by being dressed up in a football jersey. That weirds me out.

  25. @Meg - um, that's what I'm trying to get at. I effing LOVE Noa's work, but not because of the naked and more because of the art. We can play with the semantics and I'm willing to throw out the term boudoir altogether, but frankly, the idea of doing this sort of shoot is entirely appealing to me. (also, it's not with my wedding photog. I don't have one of those yet. I entered a contest with a bunch of photo prize options and won this)

    So here are the reasons I'm actually excited: a)I've seen a few examples of amazing nudes that count as art. I like that, and could totally get into it. I've been trying to find inspiring images and the only ones that work tend to be found in art galleries (which isn't helping with my current get-in-the-mindset research) b) I want this, maybe because I'm not generally brave enough for this sort of thing, and I hate that. I want to get myself brave enough to claim my body for myself and really push myself beyond the body image issues I have. I'm creating a safe environment for that process. It may include wine and it will not include stripper heels or wearing his tie. c)I hate myself in photos and I need to grow the hell up and get over it. I pretty much think I can handle any and all snapshot situations after owning this. d) these aren't going to be HIS photos. These are mine. Mine mine mine for my special box of memories. If I'd remotely started with the idea of giving these to him, I'd be entirely skeeved out right now by the process. Ick.

    @nicole - thank you for the R&R Bride photos. Not naked, just stylized and sexy. They may not be MY specific style inspiration, but they're a hell of a lot more inspirational than most of the Maxim-modeled cr*p out there. It's a definite start.

  26. @Naurnie @Celia @A LA Love
    thanks luvs!

    when i was younger and my friends and i took cute nude-ish modeling type pics of each other wearing (or not wearing) our favorite thrifted/vintage finds, we didn't care if they were called nudes or boudoir or whatever. we just had fun acting like models & posing and whatnot. also, yes the 'trend' / modern boudoir thing that's been going on- that's the one i am referring to as 'FHM' / 'Maxim'... it's not my cuppa tea.

    and honestly this conversation about doing it for the 'guy' or doing it for 'you' is kinda silly. who cares WHY? it's just fun, IF, and I repeat, IF that's your thing. some people dig it some don't, i really don't think it matters what you call it. it could be before/after your wedding, you could even be single, gay, or male, doing it for yourself/for your partner etc. the client i worked with happened to be getting married and wanted to make a book for her dude as a gift. some people call that boudoir because it happened before her wedding. semantics. it worked for them, he loved it, she loved it, that's the dynamics of their relationship. everyone is different. i'm really confused as to why this is such a long drawn out conversation. either do it or don't, and really don't worry about why & certainly don't worry about what to call it. and most importantly, if you are going to do it. drink wine. it helps.

    how about this- i will come up with a new term for it, ok? from now on it's called an 'ass & titties' session... better?

    oh btw, i would also recommend, for those who love nude art & haven't seen this yet, that the photo galleries on the nerve.com site are AWESOME for really creative, artsy beautiful nudes. just sayin'. they also featured my 'sonny's ass & titties' session on there too..;) but not to worry, there are no other bride-pre-wedding-nudes up there... well none that i have seen. also, it might give you more ideas if you want to do a session and need inspiration or ideas on what to wear or whatever...

  27. oh and ESB. thanks babe- according to my google analytics, this post has sent like a gazzilion people to my site today so far. as per usual. :)you rule. oh and ps i have a wedding coming up in Feb that i think you will love, real cuties... xo

  28. @ LA Love. Firstly, you're welcome. There are more shoots on R&R Bride, under "boudoir" that could be more help to you. Secondly, you really don't have to explain yourself to anybody! I got it (immediately) that you were doing this for you (#1) because you won a free photo shoot (#2), which is awesome, and that (#3) you were simply asking for some style tips.

    It doesn't have to be a bridal thing. I think it can be a really beautiful YOU thing. Still not sure why so many people are calling it "ick" and "gross on about 700 levels."

    For example, check out this "boudoir" shoot featuring a very pregnant Annabelle:


    This is the opposite of "ick" to me. It's GORGEOUS!

    In my opinion, a "boudoir shoot" depicts to you lounging around and looking stunning in your own skin. It isn't too contrived. It isn't over-styled. It doesn't have to include nude shots. It doesn't have to be Penthouse-inspired. And, most importantly, it doesn't mean you have to go public with the images (unless you want to). Like you said, these photos could live in a little box; they're yours, all yours.


  29. @nicole. that annabelle session IS GORGEOUS. thanks for sharing. and ditto everything you said.

  30. @nicole - I coulnd't agree more!

    @ LA Love - It will be really sweet to have photos of your young hot self when you're old!! :) I have beautiful old photos of my sexy mom when she was young and I love love love those photos. Being a woman is a beautiful thing. Go celebrate that for an hour or two and HAVE FUN!!


    love it. i agree, sexy, over made up 'page 3/soft porn = not good' however tasteful, fun, stylish (like the duluxe boudoir shoot nicole linked to that i posted (thanks BTW) = awesome. I did a vintage boudoir shoot a few weeks ago. something totally different and (i think) totally RAD http://www.rocknrollbride.com/2010/01/rock-n-roll-bride-loves-vintage-boudoir/

  32. I think the reason the feather love photos work so well is (a) Sonny is so clearly comfortable in her own skin; and (b) (which ties into (a)) there is no coyness. It's kind of like "yeah, I'm topless and hot - so what?"

    I would also steer clear of any frilly, girly accessories.

    I was always 'ick' about the "boudoir" shoot idea, till I saw those Feather Love photos. Now I'm thinking that, irrespective of wedding and all that, damn something like that would be nice to have, and to hide away in a box, to remind when I'm old of what I looked like when I was young. And then when I die my grandkids will have to go through my stuff, and they'll find them and be simultaneously supremely grossed out and kind of impressed/ surprised by their liberated, super-rad, dirty nanna.

  33. PS: feather head-dresses, cardboard animal masks, and possibly facepaint all have the makings of a supremely weird/ awesome nudey art shoot, imo.

    Oh, and steer clear of posing on a bed. Yawn. Unless it's like, a skeezy 70s motel room or something. That could be cool.

  34. @LA Love
    Lady. Do it if you want it. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is, make sure you're ready for nudes of you to be out there in the world. I wasn't saying you were doing them for him, or would give them to him. What I am saying is, you can lock them in a box, but they will and do get out, that's just the nature of them. So make sure you're fine with that. No one had brought that up, and I think it's worth throwing it out there to think about.

    To all: one more thing to think about. Do you want to pay for nude shots? Maybe yes, maybe no, but it's worth thinking over. That's not something I'd want to pay for... NOT because it's an ethical problem, but for me, nudes are something you do... when you don't need the wine.

    Is all I'm saying.

    Yeah. Boudoir shots? Nude art shots? Night and day to me, on many many levels. Not semantics. I'm not saying this about you, your work is great, and I dig that you want to shoot nudes, and duh call them what you want (though I like 'ass and titties' a hell of a lot more). But for me? They are NOT the same thing. I'm with ESB on this one.

  35. As a younger person I was extremely (painfully!) modest and wanted to get over some of my body issues. So, I posed nude for an art class. It was a very empowering experience and I'm so glad I did it. I say go for it but (like others have said) approach it as an art session, like you're modeling for a renaissance master. Good luck!

  36. I must live on another planet! I have never heard of these 'boudoir' shoots let alone have anything to add to this incredibly long comment list.

  37. Wow!! I was honestly expecting many of you to embrace the boudoir trend as a form of lipstick feminism ... I find it refreshing that so many of you aren't digging it! I'm also feeling like the real discussion here is more about tacky{boudoir} vs. taste{nude} ... rather than semantics?

    LA love: I wrote a post almost a year ago suggesting a type of boudoir alternative - might offer a bit of inspiration for your session, regardless of the direction you choose:

  38. I've already told B my thoughts on "boudoir" shoots or whatever you want to call them so I won't bitch about that here. You should do what you feel comfortable doing no matter what bloggers think is cool or not. And wear what you would usually wear when you want to boost your confidence because anything else will just read as awkward and uncomfortable in the photos. Posting boudoir shots online is weird to me (or 'ick') not the shots themselves so if you don't want your shit out there try taking the photos yourself. Check out this post - http://www.utterlyengaged.com/diy-boudoir/.

  39. My post-wedding body is starting to be eerily reminiscent of an early 90's Bill Cosby Jell-O ad, so I wont go into how bitter the thought of a sexy nakie photo shoot makes me.

    Oooh. Ok, ok. My idea for an awesome photo shoot: Nude body. Snack pack. Bottle of Jameson. Vintage peep-toes. Polaroid.

    My weekends in a nutshell.

  40. I just received a link to this post... Holy toledo! Wow. What a conversation!

    I just shot nine boudoir mini sessions, like yesterday. I had Rebecca Westby style them. We went for a french boudoir theme. She brought vintage silk slips and we used lingerie from http://lilleboutique.com

    I've always been inspired by paintings and fine art. I think nudes and boudoir can be a wonderful celebration of the female form. It can be a lot of fun. I wish I had a better term for my boudoir shoots... then boudoir shoots.

    You can see some of the photographs at http://lisawarninger.wordpress.com

    Most of all... HAVE FUN!

  41. hahahahahahahaah. i'm sorry, i've been living under a rock the last two weeks, and this thread just made me happy.
    boudoir shoots sound icky, but this one's FREE from a photographer that La Love respects, so she should get nakey and have fun with it.

  42. You make it very difficult for people to be comfortable enough to ask for advice.

  43. oh, @anonymous. shut up.

  44. @anon, if someone is uncomfortable with esb then they probably should be soliciting free advice from someone else. gah

  45. I guess I haven't seen enough so-called "boudoir" shoots to understand why so many usually open-minded live and let live type ladies are so "skeeved" out or whatever...
    but seriously.
    If the idea of taking some sexy photos sounds good to you, then do it. end of story.

    yes, yes, of course you should consider the fact that they wil EXIST IN THE WORLD after...but, um, unless you're especially shy or planning on running for office, that really isn't the worst thing ever, is it?

    And as for the difference between "nude art shots" and "cheesy boudoir shots"...that is really just a matter of taste and style...kinda' like the difference between really "cool" and "tasteful" candid wedding ART shots and really "lame" and "tacky" posed wedding photos... right?

    so if you like cheesy, go with cheesy. If you like arty, go with arty.

    if you are only doing it because you won a free shoot, find out what the photographer's style is first and then decide from there.

    Either way, let me just go on the record saying that with all the talk of hot shoes and stylish dresses and shit on these wedding blogs, I think the idea of photos WITHOUT any clothes is a f*ing awesome idea.

  46. Hi B and all
    I'm the model in the FeatherLove.com shoot and although I did it for my now husband..who just loves them,and can't get enough! I really did it for ME,ME, ME!! Yes I may be maybe more comfortable than the average woman in my skin, meaning I have always liked running around in the buff. Anyone who is fortunate enough to find a very respectful and talented photographer who shares your vision like I was then go for it. Noa at featherlove rocks ladies and gents!! I agree boudoir shoots are icky and total cheese fest, that is why I strayed from that BS and did it "MY WAY", and what I thought of as sexy and beautiful. Although nudity may not be for all, whatever you chose should be all about you and a reflection of your personality and not some contrived idea of what sexy is at some quickie studio with lame props. If there is a name like bad kitty or sex it up on the marque RUN. Just do what your comfortable with. Nudity is such an art form and it when done tastefully in the right hands you'll have those beautiful images forever. I imagine when my tits and my ass are hanging and sagging bit lower when I'm in my 70's and hopefully not a day sooner ;), I'll look at my photos and think damn straight I celebrated my self and well if its posted all over blogs and picked up by an awesome site (nerve.com) well others celebrated it too! BTW I agreed to it, and after this spark of interesting blog conversation I'm glad I did! Good luck B
    Bottom line I have no regrets and it felt empowering then and still does.

  47. 50 comments. way to push buttons, as per usual, esb. also, way to generate a new revenue stream, photographers.

  48. How do we feel about couple's boudoir? http://angelicaglass.bigfolioblog.com/weblog/post/138121

    Is this more or less weird than naked lady photography?

  49. hey man, i can't stand the word "ick" but that doesn't mean i think it shouldn't exist or that other people shouldn't use it. I think at the end of the day everyone should just do what they want, whether i like it or approve of it or not... know what I mean?

    also, i shoot it the same, whether it's called a 'nude' or a 'boudoir'. So what IS the difference then??

    i'm with @kat on this: so far the best/funniest thing said that i can deduct from this entire comment avalanche has been: "LINGERIE AND CHEAP SEX AND SEXYFACE PHOTOS." nice!

    @lupinbunny... ps: thanks! & i loved the 'dirty nanna' comment! and also i love your ideas regarding masks, face paint etc... now THAT's what i'm talking about!!!

    @Emilia Jane, i wholeheartedly love your qoute: "You should do what you feel comfortable doing no matter what bloggers think is cool or not"... absofrikkinloutely

    @Anonymous (Sonny)... thanks for chiming in and shooting straight from the hip. hearing it directly from you, the model, is important. everything else is assumption, opinion & speculation as far as I'm concerned.

    i think we all get what everyone is saying at this point, and i certainly have been enriched with some new insightful perspectives etc etc. so, ferchrissakes can we all just move on now? xo

  50. @ESB, @peonies.
    i agree on this one. i actually felt pretty 'uncomfortable' looking at those for some reason...

  51. esb, why do you have such a bad attitude about everything? to me, that is way tackier than a "boudoir shoot". ick.

  52. @anonymous stop embarrassing yourself.

  53. @angry anons - it's ESB. She rips apart the ridiculousness with cutting comments and she also offers occasional rad-ass style perspectives. I was hoping for style perspectives and got cutting comments instead. That's the risk you take here. BUT, on the plus side, she has rad-ass readers with flipping amazing perspectives too. There are few corners of the internet where I could have come and got something useful and HONEST about boudoir from people who share (and even push) my sensibilities.

    @everyone who shared their perspectives and style links... a huge thank you. The simple, stripped down (pun intended) approach to boudoir/nudes/ass and titties/whatever is entirely what I needed. The links you all sent (including the Classic Bride boudoir alternative) are much closer to what I was looking for than what I've typically been finding.

    Also, I just wanted to mention that I've ALWAYS found the idea of classy boudoir interesting, since way back in college art and women's studies classes. We're all aware that this isn't intrinsically linked to wedding shit, right? The ick comes in when it's now another "must have" and when it's an explicit present-for-him part of the wedding process. I had no idea this was a bridal thing until I got engaged. I just thought it was cool I finally won it for free.

    Whatever. Moving on. Great discussion.

  54. @peonies i just barfed in my mouth.

  55. peonies- i'm mad at you that i went to that link.

    anon- grow a pair.

  56. B-
    If this is what you want to do, go for it. I wish I had your balls. The only thing is, if the session is free the photographer may require that you allow them to be used for advertising or folio. You may intend that you keep them for yourself (and your poor grandkids) but check that that is possible,

  57. regarding the couple's thingy, there's a rad way to do that too... now THIS is how it's done:

  58. @peonies. that was disgusting. he is wearing mesh, which is only scratching the surface of the problems w/ those pics. ICK for serious.

  59. Regarding the 'couples' boudoir shoot: I honestly feel like the photos I just saw were captured as a prelude to a strange and raunchy porno ... who would want their grandchildren to see those?! Ewww. {and what's with the masks?}

    After seeing those, I can only imagine the next trend being a professional sex tape ... but with 8mm film, a grainy look and edited by a videographer for an 'artistic' look ...

  60. God.

    Sometimes I think this blog should be renamed "Snarkier Than Thou".

  61. man, i wish my ass looked good enough for a boudoir shoot.

    when my boyfriend and i started dating (7 years ago) he took loads of nakie and sexy pictures of me. it was fun and lusty and wonderful UNTIL! HE LOST! THE CAMERA! AT THE FUCKING DOG PARK!

    he's pretty much lost all sexy photo privileges for all eternity, so it wouldn't even matter if my ass was still hot & tight. he ain't seein it on film.

  62. jesuschrist anon, that's kind of the point of eastsidebride. She's snarky. We love it.

    Sorry everyone who lost their breakfast over the couple's shoot! I kind of like it, in theory. It makes more sense to me to get sexy infront of a camera with someone who you get sexy with than it does to get sexy alone for a photographer. But the buttcrack and mesh don't really do it for me, personally.

  63. Celia, I never met a man who wasn't completely entranced by lingerie.

  64. Celia's got BOOBS. why bother with lingerie?

  65. i am so sick of the faithful ESB followers. stop tripping over yourselves to kiss her ass and tweet with her in order to have her link to your blogs to "up" your views, ladies. ITS PATHETIC! half of what she says is complete shit, AND- she is 100% ANON! who has ever seen this woman? all we know is she prides in grimey boy hair and outdated spikes on clothing. get over it

    i liked you for awhile, esb, but these girls with their noses up your ass killed it. cyaaaa

  66. @Anonymous: I'm pretty sure I'll never meet or talk to ESB personally, but I know some of these people actually are her friends. In other words, not everyone is trying to kiss her ass. It's a freaking blog. Chill.

    Also, to the lingerie comments. I agree with boys never giving a shit when I wear it. After wanting to scream, "DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THIS WAS!?" too many times, I just took of my clothes.

  67. um...anon...i'm pretty sure if you actually read all the comments you would see that not all of us agree with esb. We just know how to have a civil discussion without sounding like an asshole and we have the balls to do it with our faces showing.

  68. Oh, I do so love drama.
    My belated, belated, belated, two-cents.
    I say yes to boudoir shots. For me. And only me. My Baby gets the real thing. Though can you imagine your kids finding your "boudoir" shots in the attic 20 years from now for their genealogy project. Oh the horror! Therapy for years and years. Though "no" to the word "boudoir". Like the word "fiance". Eik.

  69. @ 17 beats: HA! Somebody stuck gold at the dog park!

    @ bride on a shoestring: I love saying "fiance." In fact, when I slip and say, "boyfriend," my fiance quickly corrects me. It's cute.

    To each his own. Except "anon," who can go f*** herself.


  70. @esb, i seriously and forever hope you have grimy boy hair and spikes on your clothing. hawt.

  71. Also, my boy L-O-V-E-S lingerie. Just sayin.

  72. I liked a photo I saw in a gallery of a girl naked (from back) in wellies. I couldn't afford it so I had my sister take one of me in the garden and framed that instead. We hung it up in our house. It was priceless having it admired by people who had no idea it was me.

  73. I've seen plenty of reeeeally bad boudoir shoots, and a few awesome ones, but that seems to me like an aesthetic issue more than anything else. The thing that resonates with me most in this conversation, is what Meg said, about tying boudoir shoots to weddings - adding one more thing to the list of things that brides think they're supposed to do. Do them or don't, just make sure they're for you, not because you think bloggers you've never met (or whoever) are telling you that you should.

  74. Oh god. I forgot how holier-than-thou some folks are about the proper way to have a alt-blog-worthy wedding since happily unsubscribing from said blogs. But now thanks to this post, I remember! Bonus points for the my-way-or-you're-hopelessly-mainsteam-and-brainwashed spokesperson taking over comments here in someone's else's damn post!

  75. @Peacock Feathers and Diamond Rings

    So awesome! A naked pic of yourself on your own walls? You are gutsy!

  76. @Anon
    I've met ESB in person, you asshat. Thank god she's just like she is in print. And you think taking NUDE PHOTOS before your wedding is MAINSTREAM? Lord have mercy. That would make "mainstream" weddings (WTF is that, anyway?) a h*ll of a lot more interesting if that were true.

    All I'm saying is I'd rather have the person who's going to GET the shots TAKE the shots. That's the couples boudoir I'm talking about. Lets hear it for the polaroids, baby.

    Mwah. You're a trooper.

  77. As a "boudoir" photographer, I had nothing else to categorize my work, but I wanted to do something different, and give ordinary women the chance to look & feel as beautiful as models & celebrities in magazines like Vogue, W or Vanity Fair, since women in today's society hold ourselves, & each other to these ridiculously flawless standards of beauty. I had the same reaction to the thought of boudoir, something kinda cheesy, a little fake, and overall trying too hard, which is why I started haute boudoir.

  78. I don't understand the big deal about calling it "boudoir"...or why people are so "icked" out. There's "good boudoir"....there's "bad boudoir"...it is what it is. @Kristen Nichols...great comment...I'm totally for the concept of "haute boudoir". @lisawarniger....beautiful beautiful shots!

    I think everyone who is so "icked" out needs to chill out. Whatever makes you feel hot and makes your man feel hot and keeps the relationship hot is different for everyone--I say do what makes you feel good. I'm even for the couple's boudoir--I agree with "to each his own"! I do think it is very important to be able to trust the photographer, feel comfortable with them, and make sure you're on the same page on your vision.

    I think everyone needs to put on something risque right now and take pictures of themselves with their digital cam. Lock the door. It'll be fun. Do it!

  79. anon must be a republican.

    there's just no other explanation...

  80. LisaWarninger I meant....sorry for the misspelling! I hate when that happens.

  81. I think Anon is right on. The judgementalism of this post and many of the responses just reeks. And Meg, your misinterpretation of Anon's post and calling the poster an "ass hat" is so typical of you. You're an overbearing hothead on a regular basis.

  82. okay, comments are closed. attack me all you want, but I'm not cool with the attacks on my readers.

    and anyway, I ♥ OVERBEARING HOTHEADS.