Non-cheesy first anniversary present?

I get that buying a present for your spouse is deeply personal and you can't really give someone advice, blah blah blah. But I am looking for inspiration for a non-cheesy first anniversary present for my husband.

I like the idea of following the traditional gifts -- paper for year one, but the best ideas on the internet are 1) buy tickets to a sporting event so your man will remember you totz get him, 2) make a dumb craft project with maps of places you have lived, or 3) write a love letter every day of your first year of marriage (too late, and where would you hide 365 love letters in a studio apartment anyway?).

There must be something better. Thoughts?

*****

Is he a word person? A visual person? A food person?

What is his very favorite object?

*****

He is a serious word person. Mostly history but also comic books (he got some unlimited online subscription and is now working his way chronologically through esoteric old series). Loves food, especially barbecue. 

Favorite object would probably be a tie between his grandfather's Danish rocking chair and our spherical ice cube molds.

*****

So basically he's awesome. And (irrelevant here) a whiskey drinker.

I say find a first edition of a book he loves. Does anyone know where to shop for such a thing?



Pink Package by Maira Kalman

Why bother sending printed invitations? &c.

Good Sunday to you ESB,

I really enjoy the vendor-perspective articles (the DJs, the caterers, other sponsored posts) and I'd love to hear the definitive statements made for or against printed invitations and other wedding ephemera. "Do I need printed invites, why the f* do they cost so much?"etc. That would be cool. 

I've looked through the blog, but maybe not hard enough...

*****

I have not taken a stand on this. Though I did once go on a tear about save-the-date postcards.

Here's a little perspective from my friend Joanna, who worked for three years as the custom and production manager at Sugar Paper (and continues to do freelance lettering design for them, even as she embarks on a badass career as a costume designer):*

Why should we bother sending traditional paper invitations?

Let's start by considering the alternative, which is most likely sending an online invitation to your guests. It's pretty tragic for someone to spot your wedding invitation between an emailed ad from Target and a daily Garfield comic strip. We spend most of our time on the computer, working or communicating with our friends and family electronically, so it's important to separate the gesture of inviting a loved one to one of the most important events of your life from, say, TPS reports and cat videos. Also: "I didn't see your invitation because it went to my spam folder"? Lame, yet totally a possibility if you email a digital wedding invitation to everyone.  

You have to remember that receiving a non-junk, non-bill item in the mail is a really lovely thing. When you're planning your wedding it's easy to justify axing paper invitations by saying "everyone is just going to throw our invitation in the trash anyway, so why waste the money?" First of all, no, not everyone is going to just throw your invitation in the trash - sentimental pack rats still exist, and I assure you there are some in your life. Second of all, while it's true that invitations are a limited-use item, so are a lot of things about your wedding, and you're probably not going to poll your guests about whether they think you should spend money on a dress you'll wear once or flowers that will be dead in 2 days. It's not really your problem whether or not your guests will cherish your invitations forever, nor is that the point of sending them out in the first place.

The bottom line: you are asking your friends and family to join you on an incredibly important day, and since they love you they will put in time and money to be there with you. Sending each of your loved ones a physical invitation for your wedding is a special gesture, especially when you consider the returned gesture of traveling thousands of miles to see you get married. Or, look at it this way: you're throwing a big party where you and your partner are the theme and a bunch of awesome people (who also think you're awesome) are joining you to celebrate. For once in your life let your communication wear an amazing outfit too, alright?


So…why is it that wedding invitations are so %$#*ing expensive?

It just depends on what you want. You can order invitations online for $1 or less, though you can expect the print and paper quality (as well as design limitations) to reflect that price. Options for invitations range from plain old digital printing to thermography to traditional letterpress with the price range to match. It may sound ridiculous to spend $15 per invitation, but once you consider what goes into your wedding paper it starts to make a lot of sense:

1. Whether you work with an invitation company or a single artisan, a lot of time is put into your invitations doing skilled work. From my experience working at an established letterpress studio, I can tell you that a handful of very talented people who are really good at specific parts of the process spend way more time than you would imagine producing your invitations. To you it seems like you simply send someone an email with wording, see a customized proof, and a few weeks later you've got your goods. In reality, there was typesetting, editing, plate-making, cutting, hand-feeding, measuring, inspecting, trimming, counting, lining, and packaging - and that's for each piece of the invitation suite.

2. There are super high quality materials available and good invitation companies use them on a regular basis. The options are limitless when it comes to paper - 100% cotton archival quality museum board, sheets with soft deckled edges made in Italy, even paper containing wool fibers for deep letterpress impressions - and the most luxurious kinds have much higher costs because of the craftsmanship and care that go into producing them.  

3.  Added details and assembly take time and skill. One of my first big projects at Sugar Paper was completing production on a 300-invitation wedding order that required carefully measured and stitched satin ribbon sleeves with an additional thick silk bow tied around the entire package. The assembly took me a week to complete, but taking the time to do precise and clean work meant the client received a beautiful product that I was very proud to have worked on. That is what you pay for when you hire someone to take care of the details for you - sharp eyes, careful fingers, and the treatment of your invitations as their own.  


Do what you will, but just remember that your wedding is one of the best excuses you'll ever have to create fancy and custom paper goods for yourself.  

Also: I hear the U.S. Postal Service could use the work.


Lettering by Joanna Reynolds
______________________________

*This is NOT a sponsored post. It's just Joanna being rad.

Please help me dress my boobs (the prequel)

Dear ESB,

I'm a devoted reader and sporadic commenter and while I'm an 8, mostly (my hips verge on 10), my boobs are a 14 or possibly 16. They belong to a whole different woman but happen to have ended up on my chest. 

I could write in for help with my particular situation (Brooklyn girl, suburban Chicago engagement party, hate to actually enter a store) but it's not about my request - I just really, really want you to finally write your "dresses for girls with ginormous racks" post. Please. So that I no longer try on dresses in my kitchen and burst into tears. Repeatedly.

Thank you.

*****

My Boobalicious Darling, I'll do you one better.

I'm bringing in a BOOB GODDESS, our own Celia, with not one but four guest posts. She's gonna school us on bras, everyday clothes, cocktail wear and wedding dresses for the BOOB-endowed.

Those of you with less-than-ginormo-chests might even learn a thing or two.

Up first...... Bras.


WELCOME TO #BOOBSWEEK, PEOPLE

Good Luck With Your Boobs card by Egg Press avail at Greer Chicago

Hooray, I'm taking notes!

A super cute hipster (no, really) just sent me a set of these notebooks for book readers, and they are fantastic.

I honestly can't decide whether to keep them or give them to my niece. Would she appreciate them or would they just feel like a homework assignment? Could I actually get myself to take notes the next time I read a book??

Last time I tried it was years ago when I decided to make a list of all the words I had to look up while reading Infinite Jest. I wish I had that list NOW.

Okay then, it's settled. I'm keeping the notebooks.


p.s. READ THE PRINTED WORD, YOU GUYS

fuck the kindle



etc.

AWAY TO CAMP wedding invites

Hillary's wedding invites/sleepaway camp brochures are so gorg, they deserve their own separate post. 

When I asked her if she did em herself, she said, "Yeah, we made the invites. They are little booklets. MK took the photos and did a lot of the copy editing. I did the layout / design and wrapped the feathers."

(MK also took the photos. See a few more here.)

(Bummer. I guess I have to pay for the font to get the B.)

Someone should really use Botanica Caps for a wedding invitation, no?

If I were to get married now...................

from Chandra of Greer Chicago

Our wedding was a stripped-down affair with a finely-honed list of attendees that included myself, my husband Steve, Judge Hogan and a nice lady whose name I didn’t catch.

Steve and I had been long-time cohabiters when I decided to put a ring on it and proposed to him in mid-December. We set a date of January 12 because that was the fastest we could get all of the legalities taken care of. When we make a decision we like to get on with it.

Our wedding (appointment?) was scheduled for mid-afternoon so we both worked in the morning and met up in the lobby of my office, the Amoco building. At the appointed time I glided down the escalator in a humble grey sweater and grey wool skirt to meet my nervous betrothed in his shirt, tie and only pair of good slacks. He later told me he was scared I wouldn’t show up although that was unlikely since we were living together and I’d have to show up eventually. Maybe he thought I’d throw him over for a rousing discussion of oil shipments from Venezuela. Mmm hmm.

Anyway, we walked over to the Daley Center where Judge Hogan fixed us up. We’ll never forget him saying we seemed to be very much in love. Nor the other young bride and groom who were waiting outside his office and seemed to be very much in a hurry to get married if you catch my drift. I think Judge Hogan’s retired now, but for years, whenever he ran for reelection we affectionately voted for him. 

After the ceremony we celebrated at a long-gone restaurant, Randall’s for Ribs. We should have played it like that scene in “Tom Jones," but we kept it civil. We honeymooned in Paris but unfortunately it was about 4 months later.

When East Side Bride asked me to write about what I would do differently if I knew then what I know now I asked myself “Would you have a ‘real’ wedding?” “Would you still hang with Judge Hogan but throw a big party afterwards?” Honestly, the answer is “No” and “No.” I like how we got married. It’s a memory that only we will share and we think there’s something powerfully romantic about that. Neither of us likes being the center of that much attention, anyway.

HOWEVER.

If I had it to do over I would ramp up the fabulous factor, oh, about 10000%. 

1) First of all, I’d wait until the weather was warmer, perhaps late-May, so I wouldn’t have to celebrate my wedding anniversary in the dead of winter for the next fifty years.

2) I’d still go to work the morning of only because I love a good day into night challenge and this would be the ultimate -- from “Work to Wedding!” in just a few wildly-expensive steps!

3) I’d start with this dress by Michael Kors.

4) And just to keep the guys – and they were ALL guys – in check I’d demurely cover up with this jacket by Willow.

5) I like being on-time for meetings both professional and social so I think I’d need this Gucci watch.

6) Before the ceremony, I’d exchange these for this pair of Rene Caovilla t-straps.

7) I’d sprinkle these Marni crystals on the lapel of my jacket or maybe along the neckline of my dress.

8) And because I need a feminine pop of color I’d exchange my work bag for this Christian Louboutin clutch. I don’t know what I’ve actually done with my work bag but I can’t worry about that right now.

9) A simple black Alexander McQueen suit for my man, paired with a Lee Allison tie and a well-made Church’s brogue. And, yes, he’d wear these things, he likes to look sharp.

10) He’d be carrying a bouquet of pale blue roses from Suzanne Cummings for me (although the little Carnation-laden bouquet he actually gave me was very sweet).

11) We’d upgrade from ribs to a mind-blowing dinner at Alinea.

12) Followed by a night in a mind-blowing suite at Trump Tower and Hotels where we’d have a cake from Bittersweet Pastry waiting for us (we’ll need something that’s been frozen for a year to force down on our first anniversary.)

13) Finally, instead of sending out wedding announcements (which perhaps raise the expectations of gifts which we wouldn’t want) we’d write notes on lovely, heart-shaped Twinrockers paper to our family and closest friends telling them how much they mean to us and how we looked forward to continuing to share our lives with them as wife and husband. Despite the fact they weren’t invited to our wedding.

So that would be our nuptial extravaganza. Over the top, oh yeah, but this is all hypothetical anyway so what the hell. But 24 years later I can honestly say how we were actually married was just fine. More than fine. We’re still together, still in love and that’s what counts. Oh, and we’re going to Paris for our 25th wedding anniversary. In the dead of winter.

(Catch up with the rest of the series here.)

If I were to get married now...................

from Martha B. of Nibs

Hindsight is a tricky thing. It can make you appreciate some of the decisions you've made. But it can also make you regret the paths not taken. When I look back at our wedding day I made lots of choices...some good...some not so good.

The good ones- I kept within a tight budget which dictated a lot. Yet I can honestly say I never felt cheated. I skipped the big sitdown dinner in favor of light hors d'oeuvres and a three-tiered cake. Decorations were left to our best man who happened to be a talented graphic designer. What he did with 300 balloons was absolutely amazing! I nixed tuxes and had the guys wear navy blue suits. My satin dress and my two bridesmaids' taffeta skirts were sewn by my mother. An old high school friend took pictures. My husband and I then drove off in his vintage V.W. Beetle and spent our honeymoon in Vermont.

The not so good ones aren't really bad. I just wish I hadn't done them. One in particular stands out that has to do with my husband. When we discussed his wedding attire I suggested that he and the guys wear suits. He was more than happy with this arrangement. I also suggested he wear black shoes. My husband looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head no. He hates black shoes. Instead he planned to wear brown ones. Well...I hit the roof. I argued that they wouldn't look right for the photographs and used a number of other excuses I could think of. In the end he relinquished and wore the dreaded shoes. I cringe when I think about it now. Because, in hindsight, it really didn't matter. My advice...pick your battles carefully.

We've been married over XX years. Our wedding has faded into the background of everyday life that makes up our marriage. We've had our share of disappointments and sadness. But we've also had a lot of joy and laughter. Each anniversary together reminds me that I married my best friend.

If we were to get married now...what would I choose?

1. I got married in January between college semesters. What was I thinking? Not to mention it was bitterly cold and we had a terrible blizzard the day of the wedding. Give me a warm day in spring or summer.

2. Skip the formal invitations for handwritten ones. Or have Christine design invitations like she did for our anniversary.

3. No big wedding with half the people I don't even know. I'd plan a small, intimate wedding & reception at home with just family and close friends. I'd serve our favorite foods like my mom's 'Chicken and rice.' Instead of the usual cake I'd have something unexpected.

4. I'd wear only one ring- a vintage band with diamonds c. 1930.

5. My new dress wouldn't be white but a soft blush color accented in black. I love classic ballet flats but with a twist. I'd wear this fun headband. For the romantic in me,  nothing beats a bouquet of fresh roses.

6. Lastly, my husband and I would jump in our old V.W. Beetle and the two of us would take a honeymoon road trip to...anywhere! :)

______________________________

Catch up with the rest of the series here.

If I were to get married now...................

from Stephanie of even*cleveland

I was lucky when it came to my wedding - the weather was beautiful, everyone had fun (including me), and most importantly, it took. Nearly nine years later, I'm still crazy about the guy I married. 

It was an unconventional conventional wedding. Most of the usual elements were there - wedding party, reception and dancing, dress and veil - but slightly tweaked. I was young and stubborn and happy enough not to care what anyone thought, and it was a perfect moment. I've always liked that about weddings. They are ephemeral moments we want to so fill with love and beauty that they become permanent. That's a rare thing. When you think about it, there are very few days where you know in advance that you want to remember them forever, but a wedding is. Everyone responds to that in touching and funny ways. We pick out the things we think will make the memory and obsess over them - the right dress, the perfect flowers, charming invitations, fantastic photos - but the thing is that emotion wins in the end. It is either a happy day or it isn't. I am grateful mine was.

If I was getting married today, my wedding would be different because my life is different. It would be a much more private event - only the very nearest and dearest included, invited by handwritten note on starry cards. We'd be married somewhere in the city, very late on a winter's night. I'd wear an ivory velvet dress and blue for luck, like countless brides before, but it would be a dress I could wear year after year on anniversary fêtes (it is too sad to think of wearing something so lovely only once). I'd pair it with silvery shoes made for dancing and a fantastic coat encrusted with silver embroidery. There would be feathers in my hair and jewels in just the right amount. I would scout for the perfect perfume - something distinctive and evocative, to match the moment - and beautiful wine dark flowers.  After the ceremony, we'd sit down to a glamorous midnight supper, dance and drink champagne, and in the morning we'd jet off to St. Petersburg or Montreal or somewhere else cold and snowy, where we could have a hotel room with a fireplace and reason to stay inside. And I'd be looking forward. Weddings are only beginnings, after all. The good stuff is what comes after.

(Click here to view the product details on Polyvore.)

glassine wedding invitations

Abby Clawson Low, proprietress of the HI + LOW blog, posted these photos of her wedding invitations on the occasion of her 8th anniversary.

As she describes it, the invite is "a French folded sheet of Evanescent glassine engraved on four different panels so that when folded, the type on the panels matches up to form one block of text." (Click on the images to enlarge.)

Whoa. A Rodarte PAPER DOLL?

Rocking the barrette? I can't resist posting her too.

I might even cut her out and play with her.

From the current issue of Lula Magazine, once again via Nibs

W'SUP?

I've got a new guest column over on 100 Layer Cake this morning.

A bride wrote in to ask me what she should wear on her head, and I really kind of wanted to tell her to wear a massive origami paper doily thingee (See Above) but instead I've tried to give her some slightly more sensible advice.

Please go have a look see.

(Photo by Harri Peccinotti via DESIGNLOVEFEST via Erin Dudley)

dear esb,

i have to give a graduation gift for a college graduate. i have no effing clue what to give her. she's loaded and has really expensive taste and i'm... not doing so hot in either of those areas. you know. what does a person even GIVE for a college graduation, anyway? 

*****

Get her a kick-ass card and be done with it.

(I cringe a little when I think about the money I've spent trying to impress people with money.)

Great Job Card by Sycamore Street, printed on a vintage Vandercook letterpress (whatever that is), for sale at catbird

tree-free paper plates

These WASARA plates (designed in Japan, obv) are what I was looking for two years ago when we did our rehearsal picnic-on-the-beach.

They're not cheap, but they are made of 100% tree-free renewable materials (sugar cane fiber, bamboo, and reed pulp). Biodegradable and compostable.

Available at Branch, where you can also get these bamboo Bambu utensils in bulk packs of 250.

Via wit + delight via graphic exchange

Blog of the Week: six orange carrots

I don't get the whole chicken craze.* I really don't. It may have something to do with the fact that my dad had chickens when I was a kid and I was scared of them. Until I figured out that they were really pretty boring.

And vegetable gardens? Again, ho-hum.

BUT, a blog dedicated to a very small chicken named Pocket? And a blogger who claims that vegetable gardening will redeem her wedding?? That is just good reading, people.

(Custom image by paperjo)

*This article by Susan Orlean about her own chicken fixation is actually a lot cooler than the Times Magazine one, but you have to subscribe to the New Yorker to read it.

DEAR ESB: Can I ask my friends to camp?

hey ESB:

what are your thoughts on camping? a good friend of mine is having a camping wedding, and i'm less than psyched about it. i hate sounding so crankypants about it, but i'm flying across the country to attend, and then flying out early on sunday morning. my soon to be husband is telling me to get over it. i think my friend and i have different ideas about what it means to be a host, and quite frankly, i want a private bathroom and a roof over my head. 

maura

*****

Yeah, no. I have no problem with camping. Maybe one day H and I will even manage a real camping trip (instead of hightailing it to the nearest coffee shop the first morning because we're too lazy to build a fucking fire, and then checking into the Madonna Inn because hello, it's the Madonna Inn).

But expecting your guests to fly across the country WITH GEAR, pitch tents, and primp for your wedding without running water, electricity or proper mirrors? That is just cruel. I mean, IS THE BRIDE GETTING READY IN A TENT?

As Anonymous put it: "Camping weddings sound fun... until you actually experience them. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the ones I've been too have turned into messes. Bathrooms become a huge issue and people get all crankypants." [Note the preponderance of the word crankypants.] Maybe the photos from weddings like this have given some of us* an overly romantic notion of what a "camping wedding" is really like?

Anyhoo, if there are cheapass/intrepid people who wanna camp, awesome. But it's inconsiderate to throw a wedding where camping is the only option.

(Woodsman Menagerie by Oh My Cavalier via Citrus Hearts)

*Me included. I am not immune to the hype.

custom wedding invitations by Jezebel

Wild/playful/uber-chic-but-in-a-low-key-made-in-Brooklyn-kind-of-way....

Peruse ilovejezebel for inspiration and then feel free to email her directly.

p.s. hello...ANTLERS!!

Review(ish): The Paper Bride

When I received my copy of The Paper Bride,* my first reaction was "Great. Another one." The image of the little porcelain cake topper in the upper right hand corner threw me off. I thought to myself, "Why does every wedding planning book have to have a bride and groom on the front? Or a fucking diamond engagement ring? At least it's not an engagement ring." Then I tucked it under a pile of papers and forgot about it.


This weekend, I unearthed the book (I have pledged to read the printed word, after all) and I was pleasantly surprised. When I looked closely, I realized the little porcelain bride on the front was carrying a bouquet of red and orange paper flowers and the groom had a big paper boutonniere pasted on his lapel. Esther K. Smith is making the point that you can personalize your wedding with paper, in both traditional and unexpected ways.

Smith offers several how-tos for making paper flowers (obv), along with many more rather advanced projects. Do I like the idea of a handmade Paper Pocket Planner? Or a Liquor Shower cocktail recipe book? Yes. Would I ever attempt to make these things? No. She lost me at awl. I do not own an awl, nor do I have any desire to go buy an awl.** I am, however, intrigued by the notion of a bone folder, which is recommended for the construction of the Garland Guest Book (pictured below).

The instructions for the garland went over my head the first two times I glanced at them, but when I took a third look something clicked. Now I'm antsy to give the project a try. Why don't I own a BONE FOLDER? (You can visit Smith's site to download pdf instructions for the Garland Guest Book. But do not attempt to crease your paper using a butter knife, a pencil, or a chopstick.)

I'm also intrigued by the templates provided at the back of the book, for, among other things, an art deco envelope, a curvy Parisian coaster, and a v. sweet little box (hello macarons!).

Tomorrow night, Wednesday, Jan 20, at 7:30 pm Esther K. Smith will be at WORD Bookstore in Greenpoint (126 Franklin St. Brooklyn, NY 11222) demonstrating some of the projects from THE PAPER BRIDE. Will someone please attend and report back to us? Maybe awls are more fun than they look.

*Sent to me for free by the lovely people at Random House, I AM REQUIRED TO TELL YOU. I believe I am also required to tell you that I was not paid to write this review.

**Fun fact: When he was three, Louis Braille accidentally gouged himself in the left eye with an awl. Both eyes became infected, and he was blind by the age of four.

one more day of Unique LA!

I've been looking forward to Unique LA for months, and today I wasn't disappointed. Exhibit A: Baby Porcupine print by Sharon Montrose.

Seriously awesome. Visit her etsy shop to see the Baby Raccoon, the Otter, the Reindeer.... All of em. We didn't buy anything from Sharon, but I already regret not picking up a few sets of Hoofstock bookmarks to give as wee xmas presents. (And speaking of awesome: check out The Dog Photo Booth.)

Next up, the Perpetual Gardening Calendar from Krank Press.


We bought two. (Last year we gave Odd Birds of LA calendars as xmas presents and they were massive hits.) The proprietors of Krank could not be more laid-back, Silver Lake-y, and, well, uncranky. Even with a mass of people clumped at their booth.

But my very favorite...



Tie-died suede clutches and distressed leather flat zipped pouches by Tracey Tanner.

I already knew I loved Tracey Tanner's distressed leather. We ordered a bunch of zipped pouches from her in custom sizes and colors to give the ladies as wedding thank-you gifts (as well as wallets for the guys). But holy shit with the tie-dyed suede. H-town picked out a christmas present for me in secret at Tracey's booth. Wheeeeeeeeee!

Note: Tracey is a complete doll, and she gave us a discount for the bulk order back when we were wedding planning. She has also offered esb readers 25% off everything on her site until December 24. Use the code FBFALL09 at checkout.

indie christmas shopping

I think more than one person on my list will be getting this calendar. Each of Nikki McClure's images "is an original papercut, cut from a single piece of paper."

From buyolympia.com or Greer Chicago.

p.s. Check out the rad interview with McClure on Fecal Face. Sorry Portland, but Olympia invented indie.