BEST WEDDING PRESENT EVAR

For your cool weirdy friends who couldn't be bothered to register.........

Enameled metal cups + plates featuring images from Maurizio Cattelan + Pierpaolo Ferrari/TOILETPAPER magazine ($20-22 each at MoMA).




I kinda want to buy us a set just for camping.

NOTE TO SELF: GO CAMPING

Dear My Readers: Where should we stop on our west coast-ish road trip?

I've got two weeks left at this casting gig* and then H and are gonna get the hell out of LA. We plan to throw our shit in the car and meander up BC to visit my dad.

Which route should we take? Where should we stop along the way? Of particular interest are: Flea markets, rodeos, dive bars, lakes, hot springs, swimming holes. Beaches are pretty cool too, I guess.

And. Do you have recommendations for….. camping? We did the trip once before (on our honeymoon!) but we didn't camp. This time we're feeling braver, and thriftier.

Photo by Christina Richards

______________________________

*Anyone in LA want a free tattoo?

Another Sartorially Challenged Bride

Well, I'll keep it short and sweet since you seem to have a lot of these "help me" requests lately. My deal - I'm not too fashion savvy, and I want to look hot at my reception dinner. We are having a week long camping/wedding bash and yes, I read previous posts on the subject, and yes, we are providing alternatives for those who appreciate a roof over their heads. 

That said, the wedding will be in a group campground site, surrounded by redwoods, on the coast of California. To get to it one must walk maybe 1/4 of a mile down a lovely path, across a simple wooden bridge, and up through the redwood duff to get to the actual ceremony/reception area. We are very familiar with the site (we help run a summer camp that has a session there every summer) and recognize the logistical short-comings of the venue. For instance carrying all camping/food/booze/wedding supplies 1/4 mile in. That's cool though, I'm totally psyched about it and ready to get my hands dirty and work on my biceps that week. 

What I do, sincerely, need help with is wtf to wear Friday night for dinner. I have a wedding dress, I'll find shoes, I'm sure. But it gets cold at night. And I'm a wuss in the cold. And I'll end up sitting around a campfire at some point. And probably wearing an apron and cooking at some point. But I still want to look hot. At least earlier in the evening before I throw a fleece on. Also, we are doing this wedding on $5000. My dress was $200.  I can't see myself spending that for a non-wedding dress.

Could I wear this with black tights underneath and boots? Or maybe go this route? I'm 5'8", size 6, with big boobs. I lean towards earthy colors and no bling. I'm seriously at a loss. The event obviously isn't formal, but I still want to get prettied up a bit.

So, anyone out there have any ideas for a warm yet attractive alternative? Want to throw in an appropriate cape/jacket for my wedding dress as well? I know it's a lot to ask, and everyone has been working hard at helping all of us needy types a lot lately, but believe me, we NEED your help. Especially when you say "don't wear that. ever."

Thanks. really.

*****

I'm pretty sure you need a shirtdress. Possibly one that is camp-themed.

You're gonna sweat while you're prepping for dinner (sweater dress = NO) and either of these will look adorbs if you add tights later + throw a big ol cardigan over top.

Will my friends with kids come to my wedding?

Dear ESB,

My partner and I are planning a wedding for next summer at a lovely state park about an hour and a half outside our city. We'll be renting an isolated barn-type building in the park for the ceremony/reception and there's camping allowed on the grassy lawn outside the barn as well. In addition the park has rustic cabins AND there's a retreat center with nicer accommodations for parents, grandparents, and others who need their own bathroom and other comforts.

This sounds like the best of all possible worlds (we get our rustic, camp wedding and the family will be comfortable as well), but I'm getting freaked out that my friends with kids won't come. I have a number of friends who have young kids, are pregnant now or trying. Do you think they'd drive 1.5 hrs to come to a wedding in a state park where they might have to stay in a cabin or camp? Some of these people are very close friends and it's important to me that they're there and feel comfortable/taken care of.

Thoughts? Any other tips for making a wedding attractive/doable for families with young kids?

*****

Since I'm no expert on kids (THANK GOD), I passed this one off to Kristina, of Lovely Morning and 100 Layer Cake and mom-of-Dashiell fame.

Here's what she had to say:

Your wedding already sounds perfectly attractive/doable for families with and expecting kids! My totally unprofessional opinion is that you're way over-thinking this. It's super nice that you want to make your friends with babies feel welcome and taken care of, but don't stress that they won't come. It's not like you're asking them to fly to Italy so you can be married in an ancient Tuscan farmhouse four hours from the nearest airport. You're asking them to drive 90 minutes up the freeway. We haven't attended a wedding that close to our house in at least 3 years. And we're the friends with the baby. Next year we're flying to Costa Rica and Florida for good friends' weddings because regardless of the effort it takes to schlep our little dude and all his stuff with us, we wouldn't miss their weddings for anything. (Plus how cute is 1st birthday in Costa Rica!?!)

Your BFFs will be there no matter what. People with newborns aren't going to be fired up about bedding down in a tent for the weekend, but like you said, there's a nice option for those who are feeling less adventurous.

Check this little piece of stress off your mental list, lady. You're good!

(Photo of Nye and... is that Ella or Amelia? by Peonies and Polaroids)

DEAR ESB: Can I ask my friends to camp?

hey ESB:

what are your thoughts on camping? a good friend of mine is having a camping wedding, and i'm less than psyched about it. i hate sounding so crankypants about it, but i'm flying across the country to attend, and then flying out early on sunday morning. my soon to be husband is telling me to get over it. i think my friend and i have different ideas about what it means to be a host, and quite frankly, i want a private bathroom and a roof over my head. 

maura

*****

Yeah, no. I have no problem with camping. Maybe one day H and I will even manage a real camping trip (instead of hightailing it to the nearest coffee shop the first morning because we're too lazy to build a fucking fire, and then checking into the Madonna Inn because hello, it's the Madonna Inn).

But expecting your guests to fly across the country WITH GEAR, pitch tents, and primp for your wedding without running water, electricity or proper mirrors? That is just cruel. I mean, IS THE BRIDE GETTING READY IN A TENT?

As Anonymous put it: "Camping weddings sound fun... until you actually experience them. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the ones I've been too have turned into messes. Bathrooms become a huge issue and people get all crankypants." [Note the preponderance of the word crankypants.] Maybe the photos from weddings like this have given some of us* an overly romantic notion of what a "camping wedding" is really like?

Anyhoo, if there are cheapass/intrepid people who wanna camp, awesome. But it's inconsiderate to throw a wedding where camping is the only option.

(Woodsman Menagerie by Oh My Cavalier via Citrus Hearts)

*Me included. I am not immune to the hype.

Dear ESB: Can I ask my friends to stay in a nasty hotel?

So, our wedding is on a tight tight budget. We are SO lucky to have my parents' very awesome ranch/property as our wedding location for every reason (saving money that barely exists, freedom to do what damn ever, etc.) The one issue that perhaps I'm making a bigger issue than necessary- it's a VERY rural little redneck town in the middle of NOWHERE, and the hotels that we and all our friends would have to stay at are nasty. I mean, not completely ghetto, but like, holiday inn express or la quinta inn. I don't want to sound like a dick- I know we'll be leaving not long after on a sweet ass honeymoon anyway, and I'm not a hotel snob at all, but is it weird for other people to be requested to stay in these little dumps? And am I going to end up caring that night that we're in some stiff not comfy bed in a janky hotel room for our first night of wedded bliss?

-a fellow east side bride

*****

Dear FESB,

I don't want to sound like a bitch, but you are definitely a hotel snob.

Count your blessings. The Holiday Inn Express and La Quinta are not dumps. (I have stayed in some dumps.) You're not asking anyone to camp, for fuck's sake. And I have a feeling that if you're planning a wedding on a "tight tight budget," you've got friends living on tight tight budgets who will be thankful they don't have to shell out $500/night for rooms in some douchebag luxury hotel.*

On your first night of wedded bliss, you will be so fucking glad to be married you won't give a shit about the hotel room. I promise.

xoxo,
ESB

Photo by Alexi Lubomirski for Vogue Germany via {a glamorous little side project}

*Okaaaaaaaaay. I like luxury hotels too. Sure, it would be nice to have the option. But srsly, your friends + fam love you. They really really aren't gonna mind.

ban.do + The Madonna Inn

Since I didn't manage to take any blogworthy photos while I was at the ban.do studio on Monday,* I'll just give you this rad image from the new issue of Paper Mag featuring a custom ban.do headpiece, styled by Shirley Kurata and shot at the Madonna Inn.

While I'm at it, may I recommend the Madonna Inn?** On our first anniversary, H-town and I spontaneously packed up our two-day "camping trip" a day early and spent the night in the Madonna's Vous room, which features a round king-size bed and rounded walls. It was like being inside a David Lynch movie. In a really really good way.

Via i heart ban.do

*Hey, I was too busy giggling and putting things on my head. Who knew I would have so much fun putting things on my head?

**No connection to Madonna Louise Ciccone. This place has been around since she was born.

Hi ESB,

I'm helping my brother and his fiancée plan their wedding in Seattle, but I live in Los Angeles. I was hoping you or some of your wonderful readers might have some help for me. They are planning a *super* low budget (go figure, they'd rather spend their money on their future together! :) ) and about 50 people. We also love the idea of a "retreat" wedding, where the wedding, reception, and lodging can all be in one lovely, homey place where we call all hang out and celebrate their love!

Thanks,
Lindsey


*****

Um. I hope by lodging you mean c-a-m-p-i-n-g. Unless anyone has a better suggestion?

Photos from Victoria & Fritz's Tent Town Wedding via Once Wed

Woodsy Chic New Brunswick Wedding

I'm thrilled to share these details from the wedding of Stephen Kopp & Monica Adair, a pair of badass architects based in Saint John. As Monica and I wrote back and forth over the past few months, I became convinced that we're kindred spirits.

We got married on the new moon, on August 30, 2008. I think we were on a wedding high for a full month after the wedding.

The theme of the wedding was ‘woods chic’ with our own familial twist. My mother, who was born in Mexico, is the oldest of 18 children and is used to entertaining large crowds. We embraced some of those traditions to really inspire the day. My mother and father were also married in the woods, on a volcano outside of Mexico City. I absolutely adore her photos and was inspired to create something as authentic as they had.





It was a wedding of embodied energy – the energy of friends and family coming together to build the day that we have been thinking about ever since. Everyone got involved. Some learned how to drive tractors to build the dance floor, some helped build altars, while others laid the hundred glow sticks that created the path in the dark woods to and from the dance floor. A local farmer provided the hay bales for the ceremony seating that found their way to insulating the cabins on the site after the wedding. My mother sewed yards of table runners made from two textured tweed fabrics tied together with a red silk ribbon, my father, who owns a furniture company, searched for the richly coloured fuchsia seats for the dinner, my uncle spent weeks splitting wood for the head table and altar.

The papel picado, personalized white streamers hand cut in Mexico, were an amazing gift from the family in Mexico. We just recently spent our honeymoon in Mexico City and connected with our distant family. The wedding really brought us closer together.

And no Mexican wedding is complete without piñatas. Forget coffee as a wake-me up after a long dinner and speeches, piñatas helped set the tone for a long night of dancing. A light rain drizzle set the mood and some blindfolded dangerous swinging was a great lead-in to a long night of dancing and late-night swimming. The piñatas were filled with Mexican treats, carefully chosen from markets around Mexico City by my aunt Margarita and cousin Laura.


Buffalo plaid & a feathered cap >> Over 10 years ago, I fell in love with a photo of a woman in a wooden canoe paddling in a plaid dress. It has stuck with me ever since. I spent a great deal of time in the trenches of the Garment District of NY looking for buffalo plaid in wool – surely one would think that the fabric store for ‘Project Runway’ would have buffalo plaid in red and black – sadly no. After another, literally 50 store visits, I returned to the first fabric store and a man in there suggested I try one more store – sure enough – buffalo plaid – the last 4 yards – my future dress.

Julie Culberson, a local seamstress who happened to have done design for a theatre company’s production of Caesar, seemed like a perfect person to execute my small fantasy. The plaid shawl was cinched together over a taffeta J. Crew dress with a belt I found in a great little store. I was torn between wearing a white dress and the plaid dress from my memory; this was a way to manage the pull in all directions. I also loved wearing cowboy boots on my wedding day – I love boots and dresses.


I spent the rest of the day trying to find the perfect feathers – only in new York would I be so lucky to find a place where they were making the hats for the fall collection of Ralph Lauren and the costumes for carnival – whose hats were absolutely incredible – I was in pheasant heaven as I spent the afternoon handpicking each feather that adorned the centerpieces, table settings and finally the spectacular hat that milliner and designer Frennel Morris from Still Life helped me create.



The food>> My brother and chef, Jose, put together a beautiful menu of local appetizers, and he and my mother, a natural born food lover and maker, put together a meal for 150 that people are still talking about today. The menu consisted of a mix of local and Mexican treats: Mole chicken, achiote pork, plantains, tortillas, and a feast of other Mexican-inspired foods. We had a vegetarian friend that night who couldn’t resist and tried the chicken and hasn’t looked back since.


3am brought scavengers back to the tent in search of those last licks of probably the best cake we have ever had. If you ever come east, head to the Happy Baker where you will find this prized Baker – Holger Mammen. When we told him we wanted to make a 42” cake he talked us down to something that would fit through a door, but he was willing to take on a challenge. He beautifully rendered our family crest in gold icing and it was a slice of heaven.


Flowers>> My bridesmaid Katie's mother Gillian Wallace was our florist, and we knew she hit the theme spot-on when she showed up with a car full of cat tails, pussy willows and wild flowers galore. I do think they were the most inspired arrangements I had ever seen and I loved the trailing bouquet that was put in my arms just hours before the wedding.

The lens>> While many of our friends have showered us with great photographs of the wedding week, we were pretty damn lucky to have friend and photographer Karl Redding as our official 'third wheel' for our wedding – he made it feel easy and kept it all quite real. His thoughtfulness carried past his photographs and into all his help from climbing trees to folding napkins in the wee hours of the morning.

The lodge & cabins >> I spent many a weekend at my aunt and uncle’s lodge and cabins on the Kingston Peninsula in New Brunswick. It was exactly the place that best fit our wedding. Adair’s Lodge & Cabins is a wonderful place for an escape into quiet rustic country along the Saint John River.



Our friends made it happen.

We tried our best to design as many things as we could for the wedding and when we could we wanted to showcase our friends' talents: Our wedding favors were beautiful fishing flies designed by our friend Rich Cassidy. Meghan Barton, a talented artist friend of ours silk-screened our crest for the floating candles. Darren Emineau’s (MNO) pottery housed the flowers and served the head table. The ring-bearing dog's plaid outfit was made by Darren’s partner Alex, and Sam delivered the ring with perfect timing and elegance, heading straight to the pond for a dip upon completion of his task in true dog style. As for ‘les bijoux,' we asked local jewelry designer Jeneca Klausen to design our bridesmaids’ jewelry for the wedding, a commission she was perfect for: asymmetrical antlers, lava rocks and twig-like silver branches are just some of the one-of-a-kind gems that she designed for the ladies. John Wallace cut our serving-trays out of an 18” tree trunk. My maid of honour Charlotte Macdonell was like a full time logistics coordinator for the hundreds of details that were being fabricated up to the last minute of the wedding; she also got stuck making floating lantern bases out of left over tile we ripped up from an old reno.

Our farewell party was at happinez wine bar, where stephen and I had designed the little wine patio ‘hapito’ for our friend and owner of the bar. It was fun to have a party in something we actually designed.


As if I haven’t gone on enough, a few of my favorite moments>>

My brother Manuel wadding in water with a post-ceremony canoe full of Moosehead Beer for our guests>>Stephen’s vows>>Pre-wedding swimming for the boys in the pond >>the skinny dip that ended the dance and the hours of laughing at the camp-fire>>realizing we had nowhere to sleep and ending up in our tent…no better way to end a night of stars and lights.

I absolutely loved, loved our wedding. I can’t thank everyone enough for making it so real.