Dear ESB,
I've been a fan of the site since I got engaged, but have considered myself lucky not to need your guidance until now. But now I've hit a roadblock, so I'm turning to the wisest blogger I know.
Anyway, a little background: my fiance and I live in NYC, we're both creative types (he's a writer, I do music PR) and we are getting married in February. We initially wanted something really small, but because I'm the eldest of three sisters, my mom has sort of co-opted the whole thing and it's gotten a bit out of hand. I know she must be feeling many strange feelings, and if she needs this to be a big fancy wedding, I understand. We are an easygoing couple, so it hasn't been a huge source of contention. Plus, my folks are footing the bill, so we are very thankful and willing to follow their lead.
The feel is Boardwalk Empire/Fancy haunted house? I guess? Prohibition era glam party bourbon bar? The wedding is also Orthodox Jewish, so we're beholden to all the traditions and confines related to the faith even though my fiance and I are secular and eat at Momofuku and have tattoos. You get the picture.
Everything was moving along fine until I got my dress! I am a curvy girl, so we ended up going with a custom dress by a fairly well-known designer. I have lost a lot of weight since we ordered (56 lbs yeahhhh) and yesterday I had my first fitting, meaning I actually saw the dress for the first time. Everyone cried. EVERYONE -- including the sales staff and all the seamstresses and my mom and the wedding planner, but I just sort of stood in front of the mirror in shock. It's not that the dress isn't gorgeous, because the fabric is breathtaking (platinum threading in ivory lace, white sequins, it's actually kind of 1970's glam) and the body of the dress is very flattering, but it is just so totally modest!! I was always on board with having to cover my shoulders, and since my back is tattooed, I knew I would have to camouflage that too, but the way everything has come together, I feel like a Hasidic cast member on Little House on the Prairie!
It is just so totally divorced from my personal style (80's goth-meets-UWS shrink? A lot of sheer blouses, bold lips, skinny pants and over-accessorizing) that I can't imagine wearing it on what is supposed to be a special day. I'm not allowed to lower the neckline or really make very many alterations at all, because of the modesty thing, but I just feel so totally un-sexy in the dress!
Help! Is it all in my head? Do I just need to be thankful and know that my fiance will love it because it is kind of silly and just live with that? Is this normal dress regret?
I have attached a full picture of the dress, but you can't post it because it is TOP SECRETTTTTT but you can post the photo of my back because you can't see the rest of the dress ahhhh getting married is hard.
Thanks in advance,
Laura Ingalls "Help Me, I'm Drowning In Lace" Wilder
ps. please ignore the white chicken feather hairpiece, it is NOT HAPPENING
*****
I don't even know you, and I know the Laura Ingalls dress is NOT. YOU.
Tell your mother thankyouverymuch but I can't wear that, go for mimosas with your BFF and (I can't believe I'm saying this) ask those damn ladies at Kleinfeld to help you find a killer, curvy, Probihition Era-modest dress.
Helpful Hint: F*ck lace.
Photo of Laura Ingalls Wilder via Pamela Smith Hill
