heartache.

I'm not entirely certain what i'm asking, except perhaps, for some insight from those who've felt what I feel daily: heartache.  

Dear readers, I'm planning my wedding to a dear old friend and my beloved dad won't be there with me. He died last May and I have no idea how to be in the world without him. His presence by my side at my wedding was a given. My clearest vision of my wedding when I was growing up was that he would escort me into this new place, this new beginning. I was going to stand on his feet and dance to "Brown Eyed Girl" with him just like we did when I was small. But he's gone and it was unexpected. 

How do I do it? How do I, the most pure embodiment of him, walk myself down the aisle knowing that he'll never be able to give his blessing? How to I embrace this new beginning without my beginning there to guide me?

I'm at a loss. I need the sage wisdom of those who have lived what I'm living everyday.

Your words are gold to me. 

*****

I brought in an expert. Whitney emailed me last April, struggling with how to acknowledge her dad at her wedding, and I semi-flubbed my response. But the esb readers, especially those who had gone through what she was going through, had v. helpful things to say.

One year later, here's Whitney's advice for you:


There is nothing that I can say that will ease your pain. It is a gut-wrenching absence. But these are some things that helped me make it through the day without losing my shit.

Catharsis.

Planning a wedding was great for keeping me busy and distracting me from my grief. This also meant I was bottling up a lot of emotion that typically exploded anytime I heard a song that reminded me of my dad. I had a pretty big break-down the day before my wedding. It was wedding-stress related, not specifically about my dad, but considering how disproportionate it was, had everything to do with his absence. In retrospect, I think it helped me keep it together the next day. Maybe a couple of days before your wedding you could watch a favorite movie of his? Write him a letter? Let it all out.

Skip Father/Daughter stuff.

This is probably kind of obvious. I walked down the aisle with my husband. We did a first dance together, but no other traditional wedding dances. I felt that even if we skipped straight to something like the “Anniversary Dance” it would only highlight the absence of the father/bride and mother/groom dances.

Find some way to honor him.

ESB readers offered heaps of great suggestions on various ways to do this. It helped to have a designated moment where I felt it was appropriate to lose it. I actually didn’t lose it nearly as badly as I thought I would.

Be present.

Focus on your amazing friends, family, and you know, the whole getting-married-business. (This is helpful advice for any bride, really. It all happens so fast, it’s overwhelming.) It was so magical to have friends and family from all over the world be in one space, supporting us in our new life together, that I really couldn’t help but be completely full of joy. Of course there were occasional pangs of “I really wish he was here!” but it is possible to just breathe, and be grateful for everyone who is there.

It is ok to lose it.

This may be some of the best advice I received. I think just having permission made it possible to not lose it. People cry at weddings! I cried happy tears, I cried sad tears. I had the most amazing day of my life.

It’s been a year and a half since my dad died and it’s still so painful. There are so many triggers. Roy Orbison. Western films. Hatch green chiles. And I’m a hot mess at the father/daughter dance of every wedding I’ve been to since. But I made it through my wedding day, and you will too. 

Like you said, you are the pure embodiment of him. He is part of you. He is still guiding you in this new beginning, through all that he taught you.

Love and hugs,
Whitney


(So much love to you both)




Photos by Tinca Veerman via The Jealous Curator

Hey Mister DJ.... Will you organize my crappy playlist?

Hi ESB

When it comes to our wedding my guy and I have very clear priorities. Food, food and food. We're renting out one of our favorite restaurants and throwing what we hope is a great dinner party stuffed to the gills with love.  

There will be a couple of hours following dinner where people can sit and talk or go into the courtyard for dancing. We don't want a DJ. The last thing we want is a stranger in a satin vest yelling at our elderly relatives to get funky. There are fantastic, magical DJs who can integrate seamlessly into a party but as I said earlier our budget priority is the food and those unicorn DJs don't come cheap. We have a dear family friend acting as casual MC and a cousin who will man the laptop with the music as his gift to us. 

Are there any DJs I can pay a flat fee for organizing our play list? We have a random play list and I'd like to pay someone to organize it so that the music balances heating up and slowing down, that genres aren't clumped together and the end finishes with a great set of songs that work well together.  I not very into music so I don't trust myself to make it cohesive.

Thanks in advance for your help.

*****

I asked my friend Jesse of Dart DJ, “What would you do if someone asked you to organize her playlist? Tell her to eff off?”

Here's his response:

I would probably say that "organizing" a playlist without physically being there to assess the crowd, room and mood of the event is kind of like a baseball player stepping up to the plate blindfolded and hoping to hit a home run. It could happen but the much more likely conclusion would be a total disaster. Honestly, every wedding we do is so different in terms of crowd, size, mood and set length that it would just be irresponsible of us to take money for this sort of thing. I would never recommend it. The only thing we do for people is sometimes provide a cocktail playlist. Since we are just setting a mood, sometimes this can be done with a good deal of accuracy. Hope this helps!


p.s. (from me) What is a "casual MC"? And WHYYYYEEEEEEE?

p.p.s. Stay tuned for a weird, wonderful holiday mix crafted especially for us by Dart DJ.


Photo courtesy of the world wide webs. Let me know if you know who took it.

The Engagement Is Off

Hi ESB,

I wish I was writing to you with questions about how to handle a horrible FMIL or a dress dilemma. Unfortunately, after a 6 year relationship and then a year of being engaged, my fiancé called off our wedding.

Backstory: We had started dating when we were 17 years old during our senior year of high school. We made it through 4 years of long distance (we went to different colleges, states apart) during which one of those years I spent studying abroad in Europe. Throughout our relationship, we grew up together as we both grew into adults and I continued to fall in love with him, and I truly believe he continued to fall in love with me. Even after all is said and done, I don’t doubt what we had was real. I returned home after college and we could finally begin living our lives together. About two years later, he proposed.

We didn’t have major cracks in our relationship. We had broken up twice during college, but I sincerely chalk those up to being young and trying to juggle a serious relationship, all the while figuring out who you are. I knew what our issues were but I always believed our strengths outweighed our weaknesses. But of course, there is a reason we ended up where we are. Sadly, it turns out he was not the person I thought he was. When life got even remotely difficult, he chose to run away instead of deal with things. When I first started dating him in high school, his brother once came up to me and said “you know he lies, right?” Since I was a little thrown off by the bluntness, I laughed it off. It took me seven years to realize it was not a laughing matter.

So my question is—how do you pick up the pieces once it falls apart? How do you start to untangle where your relationship ends and you begin? After seven years I feel as if my identity is so intertwined with his. I figured your no nonsense attitude might help a bit.

Best,
The almost-bride

*****

I brought in an expert on this one. An anonymous reader/writer who has been through the same wringer.

Welcome to the tribe, dear heart. You will know us by the trail of super-depressing Tumblrs. 

May I say first that I think you have done the most difficult work of all: the parsing of the good from the bad in your relationship, the keeping of the sacred. Three years out of my epic breakup and I'm still struggling with that. But bitterness is easy. You have a wild, open, generous heart. This is an immense gift. 

As for advice, shucks. I don't know. One of the worst things people said to me was, "Well, at least you weren't married!" This made me want to punch faces. Loss is loss. Sure, we all know there's a hierarchy, but it doesn't help to be reminded of it. You had made the decision to be with him. That's enough. 

On the other side of the coin, one of the best bits of advice was this: He is not as capable of being in the world as you are. (My therapist told me that. You should get one, if you haven't already.) Coping with life, all of life, all of its glorious messiness, is a serious skill. You have that. He doesn't. Your world will be richer because of it.

You will be told, and often, that you can now do all the amazing, single-life things you have always wanted to do—chop off all your hair! move to New York! get a tattoo! get a cat!—and you should do all these things (I did), or whatever else your disastrously bloody heart tells you to do, but the difficult thing to reconcile is that there is likely no part of you in your new life that could not have existed in the old. Some relationships are stifling and restrictive, yes, but it doesn't sound like yours was. The truth is that you were not set free; you were abandoned. No amount of dancing alone across the moonlit beaches of Thailand will make that any less true. What you can do is embrace the things that make you YOU and dig deeper into them—not because you couldn't before, but because you need to put something in that space. All the wine tasting classes in the world won't fill it completely. Likely nothing will. Accept that this is a permanent wound. You didn't get the wedding ring. You got an empty apartment and some white-hot pain. There is nothing you could have done or can do to change that. So you put one foot in front of the other. "No feeling is final," Rilke said. And all the weird, brave things you love or think you might love or hope to someday love, the yoga classes and knitting socials and, eventually, dating apps and shy flirting on subway platforms, are at the very least moving you away from an old feeling, and into a new. 

Last, finally, always, the most important: Hold your friends close. Now closer still. Squeeze them until you think your body might melt into theirs. Aren't they the best? They really, truly are. 

I'm so sorry. 

(Enormous hugs to you both)

Karlina Caune by Victor Demarchelier for Antidote Magazine via wool&misc

Why bother sending printed invitations? &c.

Good Sunday to you ESB,

I really enjoy the vendor-perspective articles (the DJs, the caterers, other sponsored posts) and I'd love to hear the definitive statements made for or against printed invitations and other wedding ephemera. "Do I need printed invites, why the f* do they cost so much?"etc. That would be cool. 

I've looked through the blog, but maybe not hard enough...

*****

I have not taken a stand on this. Though I did once go on a tear about save-the-date postcards.

Here's a little perspective from my friend Joanna, who worked for three years as the custom and production manager at Sugar Paper (and continues to do freelance lettering design for them, even as she embarks on a badass career as a costume designer):*

Why should we bother sending traditional paper invitations?

Let's start by considering the alternative, which is most likely sending an online invitation to your guests. It's pretty tragic for someone to spot your wedding invitation between an emailed ad from Target and a daily Garfield comic strip. We spend most of our time on the computer, working or communicating with our friends and family electronically, so it's important to separate the gesture of inviting a loved one to one of the most important events of your life from, say, TPS reports and cat videos. Also: "I didn't see your invitation because it went to my spam folder"? Lame, yet totally a possibility if you email a digital wedding invitation to everyone.  

You have to remember that receiving a non-junk, non-bill item in the mail is a really lovely thing. When you're planning your wedding it's easy to justify axing paper invitations by saying "everyone is just going to throw our invitation in the trash anyway, so why waste the money?" First of all, no, not everyone is going to just throw your invitation in the trash - sentimental pack rats still exist, and I assure you there are some in your life. Second of all, while it's true that invitations are a limited-use item, so are a lot of things about your wedding, and you're probably not going to poll your guests about whether they think you should spend money on a dress you'll wear once or flowers that will be dead in 2 days. It's not really your problem whether or not your guests will cherish your invitations forever, nor is that the point of sending them out in the first place.

The bottom line: you are asking your friends and family to join you on an incredibly important day, and since they love you they will put in time and money to be there with you. Sending each of your loved ones a physical invitation for your wedding is a special gesture, especially when you consider the returned gesture of traveling thousands of miles to see you get married. Or, look at it this way: you're throwing a big party where you and your partner are the theme and a bunch of awesome people (who also think you're awesome) are joining you to celebrate. For once in your life let your communication wear an amazing outfit too, alright?


So…why is it that wedding invitations are so %$#*ing expensive?

It just depends on what you want. You can order invitations online for $1 or less, though you can expect the print and paper quality (as well as design limitations) to reflect that price. Options for invitations range from plain old digital printing to thermography to traditional letterpress with the price range to match. It may sound ridiculous to spend $15 per invitation, but once you consider what goes into your wedding paper it starts to make a lot of sense:

1. Whether you work with an invitation company or a single artisan, a lot of time is put into your invitations doing skilled work. From my experience working at an established letterpress studio, I can tell you that a handful of very talented people who are really good at specific parts of the process spend way more time than you would imagine producing your invitations. To you it seems like you simply send someone an email with wording, see a customized proof, and a few weeks later you've got your goods. In reality, there was typesetting, editing, plate-making, cutting, hand-feeding, measuring, inspecting, trimming, counting, lining, and packaging - and that's for each piece of the invitation suite.

2. There are super high quality materials available and good invitation companies use them on a regular basis. The options are limitless when it comes to paper - 100% cotton archival quality museum board, sheets with soft deckled edges made in Italy, even paper containing wool fibers for deep letterpress impressions - and the most luxurious kinds have much higher costs because of the craftsmanship and care that go into producing them.  

3.  Added details and assembly take time and skill. One of my first big projects at Sugar Paper was completing production on a 300-invitation wedding order that required carefully measured and stitched satin ribbon sleeves with an additional thick silk bow tied around the entire package. The assembly took me a week to complete, but taking the time to do precise and clean work meant the client received a beautiful product that I was very proud to have worked on. That is what you pay for when you hire someone to take care of the details for you - sharp eyes, careful fingers, and the treatment of your invitations as their own.  


Do what you will, but just remember that your wedding is one of the best excuses you'll ever have to create fancy and custom paper goods for yourself.  

Also: I hear the U.S. Postal Service could use the work.


Lettering by Joanna Reynolds
______________________________

*This is NOT a sponsored post. It's just Joanna being rad.

Dear Celia: Please help me dress my boobs! (NURSING EDITION)

ESB: Here's my boobs dilemma. I've always been a petite but busty girl: 5'2", and a 30DD... before I had a baby last month. And now that I'm an on-demand milk bar for my little piglet, I've jumped up a cup size or three. 

My nursing and maternity leave wardrobe is pretty limited; that I can live with for the time being. But I have two weddings to attend in the next few months, one on Cape Cod in September and a second in LA in October. The tot is coming along for both. I'm looking for a dress that will be easy to nurse in, not to mention accommodating of a huge, hideous but non-negotiable nursing bra. 

I'm somewhere in the 0/2/4 size range these days, depending on the dress and brand; something that is forgiving of a not-totally-flat post-baby belly would be nice. I don't want to spend more than $200 if possible, but for the right (versatile) dress, I could be persuaded to shell out a tiny bit more.

xo

a new mama

*****

WHOOPS I hope Celia and I aren't too late with this. I suspect we might be.....

Dear New Mama,

On the off chance that you have yet to find something, I highly recommend going the Nadia Tarr route. Her dresses are CRAZY stretchy, so nursing is not at all a problem in them. A nursing friend of mine recently attended her brother's wedding in one of her pieces and claims she couldn't have made a better choice. I know you said $200 was your limit, but GAH, look at this! 

The straps are convertible, so they can be worn higher on your shoulders to conceal even the nastiest of nursing bras. And it's not a dress that *just* works for nursing, so you know you can get plenty of use out of it in the future, too. 

But if you really are strict about your budget, Nadia also has her Signature Jersey Dress currently on sale. The Cap Sleeved version would probably be the best way to wear it if you're trying to cover a nursing bra and a post-baby belly.

Love,

C

Great racks and low backs.... CELIA EDITION

Hi! 

I've got a boobs dilemma for you. My wedding dress has a low back, but also has straps. I've got giant boobs, so I can't wear one of those strapless bras that stick to your sides - it won't be enough support. 

I went to department stores, bridal stores and VS - none carried a corset (which I need for support) with a low back. I ordered this one online and it's pretty much perfect - low enough in the back and I can even wear the straps because they match up with the straps on my dress; however, the line where the corset cuts off shows through. Back it went. 

Now I know I need a bodysuit, not corset, with a low back. Preferably with removable straps, or tight enough to give me the support I'll need. 

On that front, here's what I've found:

This comes in S-M-L sizes which makes me think it won't be big enough cups.

Here's a totally weird looking one w/ same S-M-L issue.

I think this could be a good option, just not sure if that boning will show through. 

This looks like one of the best options, but I need something like 34DD or 34E/F, and they're out of everything but 38s.

Suggestions? Didn't think the bra would be harder to find than the dress, but here I am...

*****

Here's Celia to save the day....

Hello Low Back,

Without seeing your dress, it's not easy to figure out exactly what you need. However, anyone with a larger chest should never, EVER consider buying any bra/bustier that comes in s/m/l. I recently flew to my parent's house for a weekend and forgot my swimsuit. I stupidly thought I could get away with buying a size 10 suit (I wear a size 6) because I figured a larger suit would be larger in the bust. I ended up with a suit that sags on my ass and can barely contain my nipples. Thank the Baby Jesus, I only had to wear it in my family's backyard and that I had a properly fitting D-cup suit back home. 

Anyway, I have a feeling this is the answer to all your prayers. And next time, find a bra before committing to the dress. You should know better, Ms. 34DD.

Love,
C

p.s. Celia answered another one (re: pregnant boobs) over on her blog. Way helpful if you're pregnant or one day hope to be, a teence horrifying for the rest of us.

Please help me dress my boobs (BRIDESMAIDS EDITION)

Hello! 

I am in a wedding in a few months for a VERY stylish couple. They have graciously allowed us to pick our own dresses (yes!) but the parameters are little... tiny (oh no!). Pinks, blush, rose, FULL LENGTH. AHHH! I'm 5'2! And busty! I can't wear any of the awesome cut out back things that are happening right now, a bra is a MUST. I don't want to be in an ACTUAL bridesmaid dress while everyone else is at this swanky downtown New York wedding all tricked out! I've seen your readers save the day, I've contributed suggestions myself, now I need your help! 

Thank you in advance, I know I will be clicking through links in no time! plz plz!

*****

Here's what Celia, aka Our Lady of the Boobs, had to say....

Dear 5'2 & Busty,

First of all, your problem here has nothing to do with the fact that you are either short or busty. After spending one too many hours (yes, HOURS) on the world wide web trying to find a dress for you, I have come to the conclusion that pink, full length gowns are designed for three types of ladies. 

1. Bridesmaids, a look you're not going for

2. Mothers of the bride, a look I'm assuming you're not going for

3. High school girls desperate to get laid on prom night, a look I'm hoping you're not going for 

So my question is this, would a patterned dress be an option? Not that ESB is looking to be the new poster blog for Halston Heritage, but I found this. The cut is PERFECT for all that boobage, and as a major plus, it can be worn with a conventional bra. This Halston dress is also calling out for some big ol' love pillows. 

If you're up for wearing a convertible bra or a great and supportive bustier, the one-shoulder look is ultra flattering for just about any well endowed bridesmaid. 

Your 5'2 and busty soul sister,

Celia

Photo at top: Monika Jablonczky by Mate Moro for WADmagazine

______________________________

p.s. Celia also has guest post up on the etsy blog today. (SPOILER ALERT: There are no boobs involved.) AND: She has invited us to shop her rad little vintage store at a discount. Use coupon code ESB15OFF for 15% off until Sunday, 8/11.

What should a trio of Aussies do in SAO PAULO?

Hey ESB,

I'm heading to São Paulo for a friend's wedding in December. I'm hoping you or your fine readers can help me out with tips, accommodation, food and bars, day trips, etc.

We have over a week in SP but we can also take off for a night or two, or even day trips out of the city. I've pretty much ruled out overnight trips or anywhere over a three hour flight away just to avoid too much travel hassle. (I know this means we won't see a lot of what Brazil has to offer but that is simply not achievable in two weeks anyway. We're from Australia, we understand how geographically big countries affect your holiday plans.)

Overall we are looking for a fun and relaxing trip and are willing to spend mid-range prices. We will happily part with more money if it will save time and hassle.

A final fashion question. The wedding is formal so I have a long one-shoulder dress to wear. It's very simple so should I fancy it up with a jacket or shawl? Or is it just too hot in December?? How formal is formal in Brazil?

Thanks thanks thanks

*****

The lovely Mari (a real live BRAZILIAN!) stepped up to offer some recommends.

Disclaimer: I'm a little late getting this up for the lady who wrote in, I.E. she's already in SP, but I figured what the hell. We should all go to São Paulo! (For the cocktails alone!)

Here's Mari....

São Paulo is a huge city. It has a population of more than 11 million people, and if we count the metro area that number grows to over 25. Brazil has a large number of immigrants and descendants, so anything and everyone are found there. If you want to eat Greek food, or learn Finnish, or dance like the Italians you can do it there. But I'll try to stay on Brazilian examples or extraordinary international ones.

I need to begin by saying that São Paulo has its fare share of urban violence. I've never had a bad experience, but to ease my conscience I feel like I should mention it. I would advise those same security measures that any big city kid (or experienced tourist) knows by heart: don't wear super expensive flashy jewelry, never keep all of your money in the same place, be mindful of purse and backpacks (especially on public transportation, I have heard quite a few stories about backpacks getting emptied on the subway), don't carry around your original passport (carry a copy), don't flaunt your latest and super expensive phone and camera....you know what I mean?!


Favorite sights are:

Paulista Avenue: is the modern heart of the city, is full of commercial buildings and filled of museums, art galleries, cinemas and shops on the street levels, and it ends at MASP (museum of art of São Paulo) and Trianon Park. I like to make a day of it -- if you like to sleep in, start with MASP and make your way down. MASP has, surprising to some, a great collection of European artists, from Renoir to Cezanne to Picasso. I also recommend the restaurant in the basement, which has an all-you-can-eat buffet with Brazilian food (Feijoada on Saturdays), a great meal for a reasonable price. Walk around Trianon Park, magically 5 degrees Celsius cooler inside. And this time of the year the whole avenue is decorated for Christmas, so stay well until the night to see it and later walk to Augusta Street, perpendicular to Paulista Avenue, which is full of bars, botecos, pubs, clubs, etc.

(Photos: Cidade de São Paulo)

Downtown + Pateo do Colégio (School Yard): You can do it by walking and taking the subway the larger bits. The Cathedral da Sé, a huge Neo-Gothic church, brands the middle of the city (personal opinion time: it is beautiful and makes you feel in the Old World for a moment and brings thoughts of older times, but then I found out it was built in the 50's!! And somehow all the wonderment vanished). Nearby we have the Monastery of São Bento, I have actually never been inside...heheh...but the building is gorgeous  and if you are a careful planner they have an open mass with Gregorian chanting (if that is your thing, I for one would skip it!).

I love Pateo do Colégio! This is a place that fills me up with Brazilian pride. I love the idea that what began as a school founded by a priest and a handful of boys is now the biggest city South of the Ecuador Line in the Americas. There's part of the college still standing, the church and an underground native museum.

Luz + Pinacoteca + Portuguese Language Museum: You can find all these attractions at the Luz subway station, which is very pretty. Pinacoteca is a museum, this time filled with Brazilian work! I'm not sure what sort of experience non-Portuguese speakers would have in The Portuguese Language Museum. They usually pick a author for each month and make a showing of his/her work and life.

Ipiranga: here was where the famous scream for independence from Portugal happened in 1822. Now it houses a museum on Brazilian history and XIX century way of life.

Ibirapuera: is the biggest park around, it has a few museums (and a planetarium) around and in it. But is great for a stroll on weekdays, is insanely full of people on the weekends, and dogs, and kids, and bicycles, and skates...It is just full!


Personal favorites:

Museu da Casa Brasileira (Brazilian House Museum): is a old mansion that nowadays houses art expositions and a permanent furniture showing. They have a lovely restaurant in the back, right by the garden, my family and I love to go on Sundays to have lunch and wander around the gardens. (This is my second museum+restaurant recommendation, you just wait there are more!) 

MIS (Museum of Image and Sound): exactly what the name suggests...hehehe...every time I go there there is something different to see, and they have all these sculptures outside… I have never eaten in the restaurant, but it's on my list for my next trip to São Paulo. The little bistro is always open for a cold drink or a coffee, and they serve lunch until 15:00 (oh yeah in Brazil we use military time).

SubAstor: the greatest cocktail bar! Ever! It is located under the Astor Bar, get the name Subastor?! I always make suggestions to everyone at the table so I can have a taste of everything...hehe...they have a immense variety of drinks and mixology options.

(SubAstor via Time Out São Paulo)

Hecho in México: best Mexican restaurant outside of México! My trips to São Paulo are not complete until I come here. Surprisingly, their margarita is just ordinary, but they have michelada so they're forgiven.

I usually complete my weekend trips with a movie (or theater) or even some shopping, São Paulo has so many things to do.... There are a bunch of options for clubs and late nights entertainment (one of biggest surprises the first time I went to US was that everything closes at 2am, there's no such thing in Brazil if you want to spend the night dancing you can). But when I'm in the city I don't really go out partying....so I really don't have any pointers on the topic.


Ideas for day trips:

Pico do Jaraguá: The highest peak on the metro area is located on a State Park, in the outskirts of the city, about 40 minutes if you believe in Google Maps from Jardim Paulista to the park. You can get up there using the road, or a track. I went once years ago and don't really remember how I got there, but the view alone was worth it.

(Photo: Wikipedia)

Beach: I always go to Guarujá, which is right next to Santos. It has a special place in my heart because I've been there at least once every year of my life, I'm actually curious to hear what international tourists would think about it. The city is filled with locals and people from the area, I have never seen anyone who came from far. If you're looking for a taste of Brazilian beach life this is it. There are urban beaches like Pitangueiras (my family has a summer apartment here), or Enseada and a few more deserts, nature-like beaches.

(Guarujá via IRG)

To answer your fashion question, December is very hot. I usually spend Christmas in the area and only wore a jacket once (!!) in my entire life. Brazilian people are by definition pretty casual, and though we sometimes take an opportunity like a wedding to be fancy, even then our interpretation of formal, black-tie is very broad. I have been to formal wedding parties where even the mother of the bride was wearing a knee length dress. 

I personally don't think that a shawl or jacket is necessary, especially if the weather doesn't fit. I love my country and the people here, but we have no idea how to dress fancy for the cold.

I was very surprised by the lack of soccer inquires...heheheh...If anybody else has more interesting suggestions, add them, please.

<3

(Photo at top: Wikipedia)

Seeking: An engagement watch for my BF

Hi esb! 

My bf of 9 years and I are planning to get engaged. We're not pre-engaged -- because what the hell does that even mean -- but we're looking at rings and talking about dates, etc. I'd really like to also give him something to commemorate the moment, but I'm stumped. Do you and/or your readers have any suggestions? 

He does like watches, so I was considering getting him a really nice one, but as a non-watch person I don't even know where to turn for a well-designed watch for a stylish gentleman. I'm also definitely open to any non-watch suggestions. My budget is around $1200. 

*****

I know shitall about watches, so I figured I'd ask Samuel Voerenbach (formerly of Martin Patrick 3, currently taking over NYC).

His answer was more vehement that I expected.... But also helpful. Vehement, and then helpful.

Here's Sam:

Wtf is pre-engaged? I keep seeing this get mentioned on your site and it drives me crazy. You've got a boyfriend -- hooray.

Anyway, I've got a pretty big disclaimer that is going to make me sound like a hater. Perhaps I'm just too traditional, but I don't think I like the idea of giving your boyfriend a gift when he proposes. Believe it or not most guys actually like giving things to their girlfriend/fiancée/whatever. It makes us feel responsible and makes us feel like providers and it makes us feel like we have a purpose and a person we're taking care of. To steal that thunder away from us by turning the whole situation around seems unnecessary given that he's about to do the most important symbolic thing in his entire life.

So all that said if you are looking at watches that can be somewhat wedding or engagement appropriate, for $1200 there are a couple different options. I'm going to make the assumption that because it's for a fairly important event you're looking at things that are maybe not quite formal but are still quite elegant overall. I would avoid anything with too many sporty functions like chronograph and stick with watches that are fairly simple-looking. 

The two that come to mind right away are really anything from Longines or the Max Bill watch, which in the US you can get from Amieco.

(Max Bill Stainless Steel Watch from Amieco, $830)

The other thing you could do is look for used watches that are of a little bit higher provenance. This might still stretch your budget a little bit but most nice jewelry stores carry a small selection. Nicer antique stores, auction houses and eBay are also good places to look. If that were the case I would look for something like a Cartier Tank (which would be perfect for what you're looking for since it's such a classic style), the slim group from Ralph Lauren or my personal favorite Hermes Cape Cod.

(Vintage Hermes Cape Cod, $1600 on ebay) 

Hope that helps!

At top: Jewelry designer Philip Crangi photographed by Ben Watts sporting his own Hermes Cape Cod via The Dandy Project via GQ

Best places to eat/drink/be merry in CHICAGO?

Dear ESB -

I know it's last minute but I'm going to Chicago this weekend and the last time I went was over 5 years ago with my frat-tastic and very cheap college boyfriend (read: all we did was eat pizza and go to some weird Dave and Buster's style bar). 

Do you know anyone who could give me some tips on the best places to eat/drink/be merry? Or would you be willing to put it out to your readers?

Thanks much!

*****

Just call me A MIRACLE WORKER.

Actually, Hillary is the miracle worker. (Remember Hillary? She's the one who overshared her wedding over here.) She's a graphic designer, obvs, and she lives on the north side with her very cool husband and a cat.

Here is Hillary's Guide to Chicago:

Chicago is a city of neighborhoods. I realize that most cities are, but they are really distinct here (like, segregation distinct). In my opinion, there's little reason to spend time downtown, aside from going to museums. You'll probably want to hang out on the north or west sides. As an ESB reader, my guess is that you'll prefer the following neighborhoods: Logan Square, Wicker Park / Ukrainian Village and Andersonville. There are other great places to hang out (West Loop, West Town, Ravenswood/Lincoln Square, pockets of Lakeview, Pilsen), but these are the areas where I spend the most time.

Chicago is on a grid system. Getting a brief understanding of how the streets are set up will help you get oriented. The train system here is the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority), but is also referred to as the "el" (which stands for elevated). The trains are fairly easy to understand. You'll probably only ride on the blueline (Wicker Park/Ukrainian Village and Logan Square), redline (Lakeview, Andersonville) and/or brownline (Lakeview, Lincoln Square) – all of which can be caught downtown.

Things are changing here a ton right now. It seems like a bunch of new stuff has popped up in the past year (and there's a lot of new stuff on the horizon). I'm actually suggesting a few places I haven't been because they've been so hot. Fellow Chicagoans, please chime in!


SLEEP

Stay at Longman & Eagle (in Logan Square) if you can. Otherwise, there's a new hotel in Lakeview that looks nice called Hotel Lincoln. There's another new hotel which I just heard about called Acme Hotel Company (which is downtown, in River North).

(Longman & Eagle)

DO

Art and architecture are some of the best things Chicago has going for it. The new(ish) modern wing at the Art Institute is pretty special and there's an exhibit I want to check out right now about a local architecture firm, Studio Gang. The MCA is fun and managable. If you are really into architecture, the Architecture Foundation's boat tour is popular. You could also take a trip out to Oak Park to see the Frank Lloyd Wright Home & Studio and/or head down to IIT to see the student center by Rem Koolhaus and the other buildings by Mies van der Rohe.

Millennium Park is pretty slick – it's fun to just walk around all the different areas and the big installation art there is pretty great, even if it's a bit touristy.

If you'd rather listen to music, I'd check what's happening on Oh My Rockness. If you don't know anything specific, and just want to hear live music, I'd check out the Empty Bottle – it's my favorite venue. If you want to check out comedy (it IS Chicago)… I'm sorry, I'm not much help. Live comedy kind of scares me. I saw Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind once and really liked it. Or you could check out Second City.

If you are sportier or more outdoorsy, you could try any of the following: kayak the river (fun but kind of gross); bike/walk the lakeshore path; get drunk at Wrigley; hang out in one of many many parks; go to the beach.


EAT/DRINK

Man, there are SO many good places to eat and drink in Chicago. There is no way I could cover everything worth covering. I think people sort of find their niche. Mine centers around beer. There are tons of fancy-pants cocktail bars in Chicago but my husband is a beer blogger so we frequent breweries and beer bars. Here are some of MY top suggestions of places to eat and drink broken down by neighborhood (this list is SO not inclusive)...

Logan Square / Avondale:
Gaslight Coffee Roasters – this place is new and I actually haven't been there during the day (it soft-opened last Saturday) but I went to an after-hours party there Friday and it was pretty slick.
Lula – Probably my favorite restaurant in Chicago, totally classic.
Hot Doug's – A classic Chicago dog is pretty great and you can get it anywhere, but might as well get it here along with an antelope sausage and some duck fat fries.
Kuma's – Great great burgers.
Longman & Eagle – Great drinks but better for drinking AND eating b/c the bar space isn't big.
Revolution Brewing – One of our many many local breweries.

(Hot Doug's courtesy of Todd Markle)

Andersonville / Uptown:
Hopleaf – This is a very popular Belgian bar – classic Belgian and new American beers alongside mussels and some great sandwiches.
Coffee Studio – Great coffee bar (owned by 2 alums of my graduate design program).
Tweet – One of my favorite places for brunch – good vibe and great breakfast cocktails.

Lincoln Square / North Center:
City Provisions – Cleetus (the owner and head chef) is amazing. Go here on Sunday for brunch or to buy food out of deli case or off shelves.
Fountainhead – Great beer bar with excellent roof (food = meh).
Tiny Lounge – Cool little cocktail bar – gets super crowded at night on the weekends; good food.

Downtown:
Intelligentsia – One of the biggest coffee brands in the city, the downtown location is hip (but doesn't have a ton of seating).
XOCO – Rick Bayless's taqueria. Good for lunch if you are downtown.
Pastoral – Great sandwiches or picnic basket-type meals to go. Also great place to pick up wine or foodstuffs to take home with you.
Watershed – One of the only bars downtown that I frequent. Everything here is from around the Great Lakes region. Bluegrass on Thursdays.

(Chicago-style pizza courtesy of Time Out Chicago)

Lakeview / Lincoln Park:
Bowtruss – Another new coffee place. I haven't been to the location but I'm currently drinking my buddy Max's collaboration blend.
Heritage Bicycles – and general store and coffee house…
FishBar – I love this place – I've had so many good experiences here. It's cool and casual and has a great staff.
Pequod's – My husband's favorite pizza in the city.
Gingerman and Sheffield's – If you end up at Wrigley, these are the only bars to go to nearby that aren't frightening. Good beer bars.
Delilah's and Local Option – 2 bars in this preppy area that don't feel like they belong here. Delilah's is a whisky bar, Local Option a beer destination – but both are kind of punk rock (at least in my estimation).

Wicker Park / Ukrainian Village / Bucktown:
Piece – Pizzeria and microbrewery – more of a sports bar but really good pizza.
Big Star and Antique Taco – The former has amazing food but I've had crappy service there; the latter I've never actually been to but heard good things.
Map Room – Classic Chicago beer bar.
Small Bar – Another (smaller) beer bar that I think has been revamped a ton since I was last in (have met the owner a few times).

West Loop / West Side:
Girl and the Goat – one of the most talked about Chicago restaurants (Stephanie Izard won Top Chef). I hate hyped places but this lived up to everything I had heard.
Haymarket – Chicago brewery kind of sports bar(ish) but the beer is good.

(Girl and the Goat by Anna Knott courtesy of Chicago Magazine)

Southside:
Maria's Packaged Goods – Another hip beer bar (in Bridgeport).
Pleasant House Bakery – This awesome savory pie place is near Maria's in Bridgeport.
Simone's – ANOTHER hip beer bar (in Pilsen).


SHOP

Clothes:
Downtown is full of large chain stores. If you are from a tiny tiny town, this may be fabulous for you. The sales tax is HIGH but there's a huge selection. We have all of those cheap-but-trendy stores like Forever 21, Zara, Topshop, H&M, etc. Check out Michigan Avenue and State Street. If you are looking more for fancy name-brand stuff, you'll want to do the Gold Coast area around Oak Street. I think the best area for boutique shopping is Bucktown (Damen between Webster and North, maybe – and then down Milwaukee). Penelope's is my favorite boutique (on Division in Uk Village). Haberdash for great for men (River North).
Akira is a local chain here. Dovetail looks awesome but I haven't been yet. We have a Madewell in the 'burbs and the 2nd BHLDN shop in the US.

Home stores (new + vintage):
Scout, Brimfield, Post 27, Broadway & Edgewater antique malls (right near each other), Orange Moon, Roost, Jayson H&G, Wooly Mammoth (these two new places look good but I haven't been yet: Roadtrip and Caza).

Gift/other:
Foursided, Marguerite Gardens, Hazel, Haymaker, Art Effect, Martyn George...


OTHER RESOURCES

I find the eat.shop guides, now renamed Rather, to be highly reliable.

My friend Jess wrote the Chicago design*sponge guide.

For a laugh before you come, check out #SOYEAHDUH (a Chicago GIF blog)

Image at top: Millennium Park's Crown Fountain via A AS Architecture
______________________________

I know the city guides are sorta taking over the blog. BUT YOU GUYS KEEP ASKING FOR THEM. (p.s. Email me if you want to write up Barcelona or Paris.)

Seeking: Vancouver wedding venue

Hello ESB,

My fiancé and I have just moved to Vancouver from Australia and are trying to plan a wedding in a city we don't know. We have the reception venue locked in, I have the dress, but have no idea where we can have the ceremony. 

The wedding is this January, so it will be stupidly cold and most certainly raining (we're from Perth, rain and cold are novel concepts). We have been looking for an awesome industrial or art gallery space around the Gastown/downtown area but the search has been less than successful.

Can any of your amazing Vancouver readers recommend a great ceremony venue/space for about 35 people? We have been looking for over two months now and badly need some advice from a local or at least someone who has been here longer than one month.

Slightly freaking out about sending this!!

*****

I put out an APB on twitter, and the sweet Ashley Moore offered to write up a few suggestions for you. (When I saw her Vancouver photo series, I knew she was the right lady for the job.)

Here's Ashley:

First off, kudos to you on your work planning a wedding in a new city! It’s tough, and Vancouver is a city with so many choices for wedding venues! I lived there for 10 years and got married there in 2011, so I’m happy to share some local knowledge with you!

For a January wedding, inside is definitely the way to go. I won't bother listing the many gardens that are available for weddings, such as Van Dusen Gardens or the UBC botanical gardens, (which is where I got married). And since you said you already had a reception venue, I’m not going to list any of the multitudes of hotels/restaurants downtown.

Vancouver Art Gallery - You might be surprised to know that you can rent space at the biggest gallery in town. They have a few different rooms of varying sizes and prices. I’ve seen photos from wedding in their courtroom that are beautiful! (here are the photos that made me fall in love with it. Full disclosure, these ladies were my photographers, they were pretty awesome.)

Steamworks Brewing Company – More than just a great place for lunch! They have some lovely looking back rooms that would be beautiful, right by the harbor and Waterfront station.

Shebeen Whisky House – Owned by a group called the Heather Hospitality Group that owns a lot of other restaurants/cafes in Gastown (which are totally worth going to even if not for your wedding). Not sure if you’re a whisky person (or if your groom is), but this place is pretty cool looking. At the bottom of the page they say “Shebeen opens at 6pm from Tuesday-Saturday, but can open other hours for private events.” Note: If you are inviting kids to your wedding, this place may not work.

Scotia Bank Dance Centre – They have a few studios you can rent and they all have SO many windows, so even if it’s grey and rainy you will get lots of light inside.

Roundhouse Community Centre – The Exhibition Hall at the Roundhouse is very industrial feeling, with lots of iron, wood and such. It’s pretty big, so definitely bigger than what you’re looking for, but I would feel remiss if I didn’t mention it.

If none of these work out, I would suggest taking a walk through Gastown and downtown and popping in to places that look like they might fit. Many of the restaurants have private space for events.

I hope this helps and all the best with the wedding planning!

[Thank you thank you, Ashley! And many thanks to the ladies of Gucio Photography for lending their photos.]

What should our Wisconsin wedding party do/eat in Brooklyn?

Hi ESB-

I'm a grad student in Virginia planning a courthouse wedding with my partner in Brooklyn this December with our families shipping in from Wisconsin. We feel very strongly about getting married in a state that allows all of our friends to be married, which has caused some family grief over travel and location, but we simply can't care about all of that BS. Our values, our wedding, and the fact that they support our relationship outweighs their frustrations with how we are actually signing the documents.

Here's the thing: I've only been to Brooklyn once, at least four years ago, and my partner has never been there. We are using you and my sister (grad student at Columbia and former Brooklyn resident) as our sources of trustworthy recommendations. The only things set in stone are a courthouse wedding at the Brooklyn Courthouse in the early afternoon and rooms reserved at the NU Hotel. Oh yeah, and Love & Brain will be doing our videography! We would like to keep activities in the relatively small vicinity of Downtown Brooklyn due to unpredictable and cold December weather. Also, moving a group of about 10-12 adults across the city (when only one is a Big City person) sounds stressful.

My problem is this: our families present a bit of a culture clash. Mine: urban, architects and musicians. His: rural, mechanics. We have 6 adult siblings between us, and their interests fall all over the map. The two of us are urban and veer toward trendy. Again, our wedding, our rules, but seeing as we have already asked our families to come all of the way out to NY we would like to find an activity for a December afternoon and a nice restaurant where we can treat these 10 adults (and possibly three of our nieces) to a fun experience after the ceremony.

I am looking for your help in recommending the following things:

An activity within a smart distance from the courthouse or NU Hotel for the afternoon of 12.12.12 that will be neutral enough to be enjoyable for most of our group.

A restaurant for the evening of 12.12.12 that is affordable enough (under $600 for all of us), family friendly, but also nice enough to celebrate our marriage.

Is this even possible?

*****

I brought back my expert.

Matthew Downes is currently in Wyoming, preparing a 12-course Austrian-style dinner for 18, but he was kind enough to write up a few restaurant recommends while sitting on the plane:

I can’t think of a more robust location for dining than Brooklyn. There tends to be an overarching theme of good, wholesome, seasonal food in this borough, but it certainly comes with plenty of variety. Given the size of Brooklyn, you could traipse near and far for great eats, but Smith and Court Streets in Cobble Hill and Carroll Gardens provide enough choices for those staying off Atlantic Ave. Dining anywhere in New York always adds up, but if you can stay away from the more expensive cocktails (though I’m not sure you should!), you should be able to fit the food within your budget.

Char No. 4: I think this is the perfect spot to bring a crowd from a varied background. It’s hip enough for the urbanites, but not pretentious in the least. The food has a southern accent, but this is no BBQ joint. I highly (highly) recommend the pork nuggets as a little tasting tease. Think chicken nuggets, but oh so much better! Other notables include the house cured lamb pastrami and the hangar steak. It’s definitely meat heavy, but there are plenty of vegetables to go around and a risotto in case there are any vegetarians among the bunch. It is a whiskey bar and they have a huge selection of bourbons and ryes. For the best Bloody Mary ever! Chipotle and Bourbon marry perfectly for this drink enjoyed any time of day.

(Char No. 4 by Noah Sheldon via New York Magazine)

Seersucker: Another Southern inspired restaurant, Seersucker is a great neighborhood joint. The décor is soft and simple and very inviting. You’ll find favorites like biscuits, fried chicken and collard greens with potlikker, along with delightful creations combining Southern soul and local produce and meats. Though this dish won’t be around in December, the Upstate Duck Breast, paired with sweet corn, beets and burnt sorghum, is a great example of a Southern chef cooking in Brooklyn.

Buttermilk Channel: Moving from Smith Street to Court Street, you’ll find some great options for a wedding meal at Buttermilk Channel. Like many of Brooklyn’s restaurants, Buttermilk Channel is just a great neighborhood restaurant serving up quality seasonal food. While the South has moved further north with culinary influences on many menus, including Buttermilk Channel’s (Fried Chicken and Cheddar Waffle anyone?), it’s the attention to seasonal produce that I find most appealing here. The clean approach to using amazing local products is evident in the Mediterranean inspired Warm Lamb and Romaine Salad. They also have a full vegetarian menu making it the most vegetable friendly of the group.

(Chicken and Waffles from Buttermilk Channel)

Prime Meats: Another Court Street favorite, there is nothing Southern American about Prime Meats. A great décor with plenty of dark wood and leather, this Bavarian style menu offers up plenty of meat, which might be what the doctor orders if a chilly wind blows through in December. The rustic menu isn’t fussy, just delicious, with great little spins on ingredients, such as pretzel dumplings. The wursts and schnitzel are great, as well as the spätzles. Prime Meats is definitely the most expensive of the four and can fill up fast, so definitely inquire as to what they can offer.

Finally, just a few more suggestions in the neighborhood. For a great cocktail, perhaps after dinner, hit up The JakeWalk. For something more divey and arguably the best jukebox in the city, I recommend Boat Bar on Smith St. And one more brunch suggestion, in case you need to cure the wedding hangover, is Mile End. They serve up scrumptious Montreal-style Jewish deli food. A step above Katz’s Deli, in my opinion.

(Karlsbad Old Fashioned from The Jake Walk)

Please Note: I let Matthew off the hook on the activity front (that is if COCKTAILS don't count as an activity), so please have at it in the comments.

Image at top: Trent Bailey via Brooklyn Bride

Should I drag my boyfriend to this wedding?

Dear ESB,

This is less a help-me-find-a-dress scenario and more of an couples etiquette question...and not even one from a bride, at that. 

I'm going to be a bridesmaid for a high school friend - love her dearly, very stoked to be involved, all the standard stuff. We both left town after high school, and she now lives several hours away. We were close in school and are still friends, but we tend to see each other only a few times a year, and they're generally whirlwind one-on-one girlfriend catch-up sessions. Her wedding is going to be held in our hometown, and it's possible I'll only a know a few people there; since they live far away, I don't really know her current friends or fiance that well, but she's a cool lady so I want to stand up for her.

I want my boyfriend of a year to be my plus-one, because he's awesome, but he's making faces. I can't guarantee that I'm going to know anyone else there, so the likelihood that he'll know anyone is going to be mighty slim. We're not going to be sitting together at the dinner or the ceremony. But my heart wants him there! I want to dance with him, and do shots with him, and generally include him in what should be a great party. 

This is my first time being a b-maid, so I'm not sure how hectic my day is going to be and how often our paths will cross. What's the SOP/your advice? Do I go stag that night and just hope I know other people to chill with? Or can I try to get him to come out, even though it's not going to be 100% funsies for him?
Thanks,
Is B-Maid A "Thing"?

*****

Here's what our boy Rob had to say:

IB-MAT,

This shouldn't be a question. He goes, it's his job as a boyfriend, does his best to have fun, meets people, and LEARNS ABOUT YOUR HOMETOWN. If he isn't remotely curious about where you came from, ask yourself if he is boyfriend material.

Best regards,
Rob S. Parham

-One Percent for Space-

I have two things to add:

1. Why the fuck don't you get to sit together at dinner??

2. Believe it or not, BM is a thing. But I would never subject you to that.

Photo: Kinga Rajzak & Daga Ziober by Boo George for T Style Spring 2012 via Fashion Copius

made to measure vs. made to order (IS MY BRIDAL SALON RIPPING ME OFF??)

Dear ESB,

I would love to hear your opinion on my made-to-measure dress saga.

A few months ago I fell in love with a dress that cost over $4000. A lot of money, I know, but the lady in the boutique told me the dress would be made to measure, apart from length, which would be altered later, to suit my shoes.

In my naiveté, I paid a hefty deposit, thinking at least my pear shaped figure would be well fitted. But then I got the loveliest shoes and decided to ask for the dress to be cut to length too, since I'm petite. The boutique lady was strangely opposed to this, so I did some research and found that the dress will, in fact, be a standard size all over. In other words the sales person lied to me.

Should I:

1) suck it up, get the dress and say no more.
2) demand my deposit back.
3) contact the dressmaker to see if they can help me (for even more $)

It is only 4 months until my wedding, so my options may be limited and I don't know if I have any rights re the deposit.

Kind regards,
Duped Bride

*****

Are they planning to do fittings with you when the dress is delivered?

*****

I will be measured for the dress in May, it will arrive in the boutique in July and then will be altered, at further expense to me. I was told it would be cut to my bust, waist and hip measurements, but it will just be a standard size. Ho hum. Perhaps I'm making too much of this? I look forward to hearing your views.

*****

Mkay. This one's way over my head. (I've never even been inside a bridal salon, if you can believe.) So I emailed Lanie, the proprietress of the Lovely Bridal Shop, to get her expert opinion.

Here's what she had to say:

Dear Duped Bride,

It seems like this dress was "the one" so I think there will be a workable solution for you. As a salon owner, I learned quickly and the hard way, the customer is always right. The wrath of an angry bride is not a pretty sight, so I imagine this shop is going to want to work it out for you.

This is by far one of the biggest sources of confusion and frustration for brides, so at least know you have company. Especially because the jargon is so foreign…made to measure, made to order, cut to size, what??? At Lovely, we try to be extremely clear (like, repeating our selves an insane number of times) to let a bride know her gown will be ordered in a standard size and 99 percent of the time, will still need alterations that do cost extra. Even then, we often have brides come back for their first try on and are shocked to see the gown is too large.

So future brides listen up: most dresses at bridal salons are MADE TO ORDER. That means it is ordered especially for you, but it is NOT custom to your measurements. It is ordered off of a vendor's standard size chart. And to do that, we must use the LARGEST measurement (I know, cruel) from either the bust, waist, or hip to determine your numeric size. This means the rest of gown will be too big and need to be altered to fit you perfectly.

Having that said, if this salon did say MADE TO MEASURE (meaning just that…the dress is cut to your exact measurements) then you should definitely be vocal about that to the shop manager. Call the salon and let them know you were told your gown would be made to measure, and that you don't feel you should have to pay the cost for alterations on the bust, waist and hips. Hopefully they will agree to at least offset the cost for you.

Since you will not be measured until May, I would ask the shop gal who measures you to see the vendor's size chart. That way, you can help make the decision on what size to order. Sometimes a bride is just an inch bigger in the hips, but if she wants a body hugging gown, it might be ok to go down a size. Either way, the point is, be a partner in the decision so when your dress arrives, you know how it should fit and where it will need work. But be forewarned…some designers have what is called "bridal sizing" (which is pretty much whack sizing from like 1872) so a size 6 in street clothes is a bridal size 10. Try not to focus on the number you are ordering, just focus on a size that works best with your measurements.

Would love to hear how it all works out for you. If you end up dress-less, you can always come into Lovely! We stock several designers so you can buy a dress right off the rack, and others can deliver in a few months. [Editor's Note: Lovely just opened a shop in LA, to better serve both east and west side brides.]

Either way, just focus on the end product, you looking amazing at your wedding, so that this little hiccup doesn't spoil the fun of your wedding planning.

xo
Lanie

Kenji Kawasumi by Alessandro Viero via Claire Cottrell via Ensuite via Vogue