A Wedding in Polaroids

And the most thorough, thoughtful, helpful write-up I have yet had the pleasure of publishing.

Take it away April:

Sitting down to write about our wedding seems an awful lot like an Academy Award acceptance speech -- there were so many incredible people and friends involved. I'm about to start blurting out a list of names before the orchestra starts playing the STOP TALKING music.

About our wedding: it happened over labor day weekend in a small town 2 hours north of San Francisco. Monte Rio is beautiful, remote and very California without having the expense of nearby wine country. The ceremony was on a meadow by the Russian River with the reception at the community center. We treated it like it like a destination wedding.

Besides our own marriage, here's what we wanted for our guests:

- to have a relaxing long weekend on the river.
- to enjoy themselves so much that they were really sad when the weekend was over.
- to leave feeling like they really got to know other people and made new friends.
(To that end we created a Facebook group to organize lodging, communicated on our save the dates that guests needed to book lodging pronto and gave people the resources to find rental houses together. We also created a custom google map with important location and people's rentals.) As far as we know, success!

Long term, WE owe the photographers, big time. We didn't have a pile of cash to burn, so we decided early on to spend on what was important to us. Pictures last forever, right? We wanted the photographs to represent the time we had that weekend and Chloe Aftel did just that. Bonus: she is hilarious and a joy to work with (she did our engagement shots too). She does magical things with Polaroids and captured the romantic, ephemeral parts of marrying someone you love. Waking up the day after the weddings and flipping through the prints was immediate gratification! We had another photographer manning the photo booth during cocktails -- Meg Messina took fantastic wedding guest portraits.

Finally, a shot of gratitude to Jennifer Tipton. She came on as the wedding day coordinator but she was indispensable long before that. She was wonderful to work with and  was on top of everything during the weekend.

The dress: it was St. Lucia sample by Jenny Packham, purchased at San Francisco's Glamour Closet. This is the place to go if you want an expensive dress for half-price. Ideal for people who a) are motived bargain shoppers or b) don't mind if their dress has a few fix-it blemishes.
The headpiece: bought a couple but settled on the Mignonne Handmade - Nature Girl Halo in ivory.
The bridesmaids: almost all wore long, pale pink Rachel Pally. She designs with modal jersey, aka feels like pajamas.

The cake(s): we didn't want a wedding cake per se. We bought basically one of every cake from Miette. Beautiful/delicious/not $1000.

And finally, here's the rest of the Rad people/places/things near California's Sonoma valley....

Artistry by Alan: Oh my, those lashes! He comes from a Hollywood background and sat me down, did his magic and I looked like myself but flawless. What cinched it for me is he did make-up on the movie Clueless. HELLO 90's girl fantasy!
Brian Ho of Dreams in Audio: the best damn unwedding DJ we could've found (sf-based)
Fork Catering: food truck extraordinaire, tasty, local, fresh food.
Pinterest: I had an Inspiration and Final Wedding board to manage the look since our wedding decor didn't really have a strong theme besides what we liked.
Virb: hosted our wedding website! Easy and (more importantly) stylish.

The last note: we ended up with 12 kids/babies on the attending guest list(!). Besides reserving the playground adjacent to the reception site we also introduced the parents beforehand via email. We had a kid activities, made programs with a colorable illustration. One of my favorite parts of the reception was the kids smashing a Confetti System-style piñata we filled with toys and candy. It was joyful having them around!

OH, I cannot believe I almost forgot to mention my favorite wedding stress coping mechanism. No, not stress eating (close second!) — my favorite way to let of irrational impulses and wedding industry wackness out was by creating the Twitter account @BRIDEHULK. In the same vein as internet meme @DrunkHulk, you tweet the rage away. I did not man @BRIDEHULK myself, I enlisted the help of about 10 other brides who were also wedding planning last year. Most of us graduated out but there are still a couple friends who are getting married in 2012. I hope the tradition will live on and would be happy to share login information with others who find themselves fed-up with one too many staged wedding blog posts, difficult potential vendors and crazy-pants family drama.

Cheers!
April

(Chloe Aftel also took super gorg digital photos. A few of em are up over here.)

kiss my [BLANK]

I'm super excited to announce ESB's first annual #kissmyBLANK contest, sponsored by Juice Beauty.

Here's how it works:

You guys submit original photos via Twitter depicting the single most annoying thing about wedding planning. Or marriage. OR LIFE IN GENERAL.

Just tweet your photo with the hashtag #kissmyBLANK. Images hosted on any platform, including YFrog, TwitPic, Flickr and Instagram, are acceptable.

Feel free to submit as many photos as you like. (Because the single most annoying thing changes from moment-to-moment, obviously.)

The prize, a basket of Juice Beauty goods including Stem Cellular Repair Moisturizer, Eye Treatment and Green Apple Peel, will go to the person who best expresses her (or his!) particular frustration. And the four runners-up will receive Juice Beauty's Organic Kisses.

The contest starts...... NOW!

Two weeks from today, on Tuesday, June 28, I'll post my top ten picks so you guys can vote for the winner.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

p.s. Because I blathered on and on about how I'm such a faithful Juice Beauty user (I am! I've been using the Green Apple products for almost three years!) they hooked us up with a really great deal. With a minimum order of $30, you get a free (FULL SIZE) Hydrating Mist. I made a special request for this item because it's one of my faves and plus I figured you might need to cool down after snapping all those snarky photos. The promo will last until June 30 -- enter code ESB at checkout. 

p.p.s. There seem to be a lot of exclamation points in this post. My sincere apologies. 

*Update: We can only mail prizes within the US + Canada, but please, we'd love you to submit photos from EVERYWHERE. You could win a prize for your cousin in Topeka, yes?*

do you pinterest?

It's kind of like tumblr meets twitter meets del.icio.us. I am WAY INTO IT. (As if I needed another time suck.)

I realize I don't post much in the way of wedding decor on the blog anymore -- maybe I ought to change that? -- but I've been pinning some wedding-y decor, as well as rings rings rings (obv), antlers, and the occasional photo of David Bowie.

You can check out my pins here.

p.s. Thanks to Alyson for for inspiring this post.

Dear ESB (BROUGHT TO YOU BY TWITTER!): Do I have to invite the nanny?

@tweetiebride dear esb: my fh's boss wants to bring her nanny to our wedding!

@eastsidebride did you tell her she could bring her kids?

@tweetiebride yes of course but doesn't it seem a tad crazy?

@eastsidebride totally crazy. lady wants her kids to hang out with the nanny she should leave them at home.

@tweetiebride her kids are in the party. Does that make it right?

@eastsidebride no.

@eastsidebride but you might want to let her bring the damn nanny just to keep the peace.

@eastsidebride maybe she wants to have a *good time* at your wedding

(Image via FFFFOUND! with thanks to The Flashdance)

on engagement party etiquette and telling Bridezilla to STFU

Dear ESB,

One of my best girlfriends got roped into being a bridesmaid for a "friend" of ours from college. Let's be honest - they aren't that great of friends, but what could she do? Anyways Bridezilla is the definition of tactless. The wedding is 15 months away - and they've already been engaged for the last 6 months. so a 21 month engagement, yet they act as if the wedding is next month - meaning endless facebook updates, tweets, and TWO blogs outlining every detail of the whole affair - down to the budget. Mind you these two are only 23 yrs old, fresh out of college, and have no reason to rush down the aisle besides wanting to be the first to do so. They already live together, so it's not a religious or family issue.

Anyways, despite already having 2 engagement parties planned she wants the bridesmaids to throw a third engagement party in NYC - where we all went to college. However, the couple isn't inviting any college friends to the wedding due to their meager budget, yet they want them at this engagement party. How can my friend, the bridesmaid, tell Bridezilla that 1) it isn't appropriate to invite friends to the engagement party and leave them off the wedding guest list and 2) to stop with the online on-slaught of personal info regarding the wedding?

I'd love to just tell her to just STFU but it's not really my place. Am I the only person who cares about etiquette anymore?

FedUpinNYC

*****

Dear FUNYC,

You're not the only person who cares about etiquette. But you need to join the 21st century.

According to Martha Stewart, the traditional rules of etiquette, which used to dictate that all the guests invited to the engagement party be invited to the wedding, no longer apply. Martha says "because so many people have very small weddings or hold their ceremonies far from friends and sometimes even from family, the engagement party often includes people who may not be invited to the eventual wedding."

Stop hating on the poor couple because they have a tiny budget! By throwing this third engagement party, they're actually trying to include their friends who aren't invited to the wedding. (Though I do think it's tacky to ask the bridesmaids to throw the party. Why doesn't Bridezilla throw her own damn third engagement party?)

Which brings me to: The Online Onslaught. Is it really your friend the bridesmaid who is so bothered by the barrage of information, or is it you?

Why don't you just unfollow Bridezilla on Twitter? (I do it ALL. THE. TIME.) And "unfriend" her, or whatever the Facebook lingo is. Nobody is forcing you to read her updates.

(Photo by Andrea Spotorno for Ten Magazine via Vain and Vapid)

Where can a cool kid from Minnesota find a suit?

Dear ESB,

We're 7 weeks away from the wedding, and my dearest darling fiance doesn't have his outfit picked out yet. He hasn't figured out what the groomsmen will be wearing either, and they're starting to bug him about it (we are fortunate enough to have five very-on-top-of-it-groomsmen who actually want to be prepared, and not naked, at our wedding!)

Ideally, he wants to wear a three piece Donegal wool/tweed suit, or a coat-vest-pants combo that are (classily) mismatched (this Billy Reid suit, on the left, is a perfect example). And we'd like the groomsmen to wear a pants-vest combo but no jacket. Taupe or gray preferred. But... We live in a small Minnesota town (Duluth) and don't have the luxury of shopping at awesome vintage shops or boutiques. We have been scouring Google, to no avail.

Do you have anything up your sleeve?

Love,
Naked in Duluth

***** 

NID,

I emailed my lady Kat from Pierrepont Hicks and she asked her style guru Samuel Fehrenbach, the proprietor of Martin Patrick3, a men's accessories shop in Minneapolis.

Here's what Sam had to say:

Well, I can’t speak for Duluth, but Heimie’s Haberdashery in St. Paul is for sure the best bet in the Twin Cities - and they do all their tailoring in house, which is convenient for wedding things, I’m sure. Otherwise Twill out in Edina Galleria may be a good bet as well. They’ve got kind of a tweedy Hickey Freeman vibe (but they also sell Vineyard Vines ties – which is totally the opposite). I think both shops do custom, though seven weeks is pressing your luck in that regard. You might have some luck at Judd Frost in Wayzata, but I’ve never actually been there, so I can’t give you a full endorsement. Wish I could give you a little more to go on, but unfortunately in Minnesota suits for cool kids can be tough to find.

Side note, I don’t think I’d call Duluth a small town, but that must just mean that I’m really really from the Midwest.

When I was linking over to Hickey Freeman just now (thank you Sam!) I noticed that this tan plaid suit is 50% off. It's lighter weight than what you're looking for, but how cold will it be in Duluth at the end of September?

I'm asking. I have no idea what the weather is like in Duluth. 

xoxo,

ESB 

(Image courtesy of Kanye New Yorker Tweets.  I trust you have all been following Kanye on Twitter?)

a pledge to read the printed word

More than a year ago, I started to notice that I was reading fewer and fewer books. The New Yorkers lay gathering dust on the coffee table. My newfound love for blogsblogsblogs, fancy iphone apps and twitter were/are interfering with my capacity to focus on words printed on paper. Words you can't click on. Words that don't link to other words. Words that are meant to be read in sequence.

Inspired by adfreeblog.org and buyhandmade.org, I decided a new kind of pledge was in order. A pledge to read the printed word. I emailed cevd, who I knew to be a fan of books as well as my kind of minimalist graphic designer, and she quickly got on board, creating several versions of a little banner. Then I proceeded to sit on my ass for 14 months.

But. Finally. With a little help from H-town, our wee project is launched.

Take the pledge and add a banner to your page. Because tweeting should not take the place of reading.

WARNING: Please do not attempt to tweet while reading a book. To avoid distraction, the librarian recommends that you place your iphone face down. In the other room.

Photo by Peonies and Polaroids

I suck

Or, rather, blogging via iphone sucks. I'm in nyc until Monday and MY MOM DOESN'T HAVE WIRELESS.

"Why the eff did you bother dragging your laptop on the plane?" you ask.

Good effing question.

Anyhoo, if you miss me you'll have to find me on Twitter. I'm talking to you, Blind Irish Pirate.

Images via Life in Lomo

I want to be more like John Waters

I already linked to this article once, back when I though it was hilarious that John Waters used Crème de la Mer(de). But here's what really stuck with me:

Waters is unusually regimented. He wakes up at exactly 6:10 every morning and reads newspapers and drinks tea until 8. He starts writing “right at eight o’clock—not 8:01, not 7:59,” and works until lunchtime. Waters is rigidly devoted to these morning sessions, and his hired wife plans his travel accordingly. He will go somewhere a day early or stay a day late rather than fly in the morning, even if it means staying at an airport hotel, “because I need to write five days a week,” he says firmly. “As far as I can remember I have done that, at least for 25 years. I most never miss a day."

I've been making excuses, but it's time to develop a regime. (I.E. lay off Twitter in the morning?!)

(Photo by Nan Goldin for New York Magazine)

F* twitter

I deleted my esb account. All that tweeting about twittering was just too effing exhausting.*

And as soon as I started worrying about whether my tweets were attracting followers or directing traffic to the blog it stopped being any fun.

This is all supposed to be fun.... Right?

*Note to self: Stop blogging about blogging.

this is how it feels to be married

Pretty fucking awesome.

Photo by Tanja Lippert via Rock 'n Roll Bride via OnceABride's new twitter.

um, how do we feel about twitter?

Srsly. I'm v tempted to try it. But intimidated, I have to admit. Wired offered some advice in the August issue that has been holding me back:

"Every single Twitter post you write should be something that could get you laid, ruin a marriage, or bring a tear to a fat little kid's eye." - Joshua Allen

"Don't answer, 'What are you doing?' Be funny. Be brief (duh). Leave your lunch unpublished. Ditto your late plane. Incomplete sentences." - Jason Kottke

"Don't try to impress - just be yourself. But go a little beyond your comfort zone; share something you're hesitant about sharing." - Evan Williams

Too much pressure? But I just looked at Jason Kottke's feed, and he twittered about his deep fried Oreo lunch on September 12. Maybe I'm ready to play with the big boys after all.

(Image: "The neighborhood" by Rudat)