Here's another pregs-y one you'll like....

Dear ESB,

Help! I am pregnant and need a super chic, special cocktail dress to wear to a friend's early April wedding here in NYC.

By the time her big day rolls around I will be just about 8 months (I'm due in early May). I'm a girl who loves her cocktail dress and heels and so far have not been able to find anything that will fit both my belly and my style. I am normally quite petite ( 5'5" size 0-2), and really have only gotten big in the boobs and the belly area. Most maternity dress options I have found just are not special enough.

Just because I am pregnant does not mean I am willing to give up my style! I would love to find something sexy, chic and all around awesome to wear that night. I am not afraid of color, prints or embellishments and would be grateful for any idea that do not resemble a tent or you typical ruched down the sides fitted, jersey maternity dress. Boring!

Please help!

Sincerely,
Preggers and Fashion Deprived

*****

LANVIN

I mean. Right?



NOW LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU BREEDERS

At top: Roisin Murphy photographed by Dancian and styled by Sarah Bachs for Zoo Magazine via Fashion Gone Rogue

Pregnant in SoCal

Dear ESB,

My fiancée and I are getting married in a small ceremony at the old Orange County courthouse in Santa Ana in exactly one month. I purchased my dress a few months ago and absolutely love it, a simple cream  lace sheath with a nipped in waist. However, about 3 weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant (which we are over the moon excited about, by the way). 

I will be exactly 3 months along on our wedding day. I won’t be showing by then, but my breast are growing rapidly and I anticipate a little extra in the middle at that point. I need recommendations on a simple, chic dress that won’t make me look frumpy. 

We won’t be telling anyone but close friends in the meantime since it is generally considered best to wait until after the first trimester to make the announcement. I don’t necessarily need to conceal what’s going on, I just want to look beautiful and feel comfortable on my wedding day. Help?

Thanks,
Preggo Bride

*****

How bout this lil Malene Birger dress?

Feel free to tell me I nailed it.

(In case you need convincing, here are some photos of my favorite preggo bride.)


At top: Valentine Fillol-Cordier styled by Jennifer Eymere and shot by Alexei Jay for Jalouse March 2012 via Fashion Copius

for the preggo bridesmaid

these hatch collection dresses are pretty great.

but wait until you're ACTUALLY PREGNANT to buy one, mkay?

a secret maternity dress in the closet is even worse than a secret wedding dress, imho.
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ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST ADDED A "MATERNITY" TAG.

it's not rocket science, people.

hello!

i am writing in hopes that your readers will come up with something lovely where i am failing... my sister is going to be married next april and her only bridesmaids are my sister and me. she wants something champagne in color and either knee-length or maxi-length. we're both well endowed and about 5'6" or 5"7, i'm a size eight and she's a size ten. 

here is the curveball: there is a good chance that i will be pregnant by that point (my husband and i have just started trying). so, i may not be pregnant at all, or i may be eight months along. ideally, we will wear the same dress or something very similar. we're also hoping to spend less than $200, but there is a little wiggle room on that.

any ideas?

thank you in advance for your help,
wearing champagne, but probably not drinking it

*****

my idea is that YOU SHOULDN'T BUY YOUR DRESS YET.

Bjork by Jean-Baptiste Mondino

What Not to Say to a Bride Right Before She Walks Down the Aisle

A friend of mine found out she was pregnant a few months after she got engaged. Both she and her fiance grew up in pretty conservative Christian families (in fact, her fiance was in school to become a pastor at the time), so announcing this news to their families was not easy. But they decided that they couldn't keep it a secret -- the wedding was not supposed to happen for a whole year. Thankfully, the families seemed to take it pretty well. It was decided that the wedding date should be moved up so that the bride's belly wouldn't be noticeable in her wedding dress. 

Everything was going along smoothly on the big day, until just moments before the bride was about to walk down the aisle. An extended family member approached her from out of nowhere and whispered to her that she should be ashamed and should not be wearing a white dress. The bride burst into tears and ran into the bathroom, leaving the groom waiting up at the altar. Her father told the offending guest to leave immediately. We consoled the bride. She made it down the aisle. They now have a gorgeous daughter who is the light and joy of their lives.

Pregnant Bridesmaid

Dear ESB,

I must admit, I've been an avid reader of your blog, beginning in my planning stages of my wedding up until now -- almost a year and a half after the wedding went down. Not to mention, it's the only weddingish blog I still keep up with. You're awesome.

Now, I never thought I'd be writing you, especially because I'm done with all that wedding stuff... right?

Wrong. Here's the thing.... I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. The date is set for the end of September. I just found out that I'm pregnant.... and get this: I'm due at the end of September. She even said to me a while back: "Just don't get pregnant right now and miss my wedding!" Oops. (This isn't an "intentional" baby, though, so I wasn't acting maliciously?)

I could:

a) Call her up and politely resign as bridesmaid, telling her I'll still be as actively involved as possible, (ie: I'll go to her bridal shower, but I won't go to all bridesmaid events, and maybe I'll fashion some DIY things for her because she's into that whole thing), but I will definitely miss the big day.

b) Still be a "bridesmaid," for the duration of her planning time, but just not be at the wedding. (This involves several 10 hour car rides, and potentially a few flights to be present at all important bridesmaid-required events plus all of the other things she would have me do).

c) Call her up and politely resign from all bridesmaid duties, explaining that planning to have a baby is enough in itself to drive a woman mad, and frankly, I only have a limited amount of sanity to go around.

d) Call her and ask her what she wants my role to be and leave myself in the problematic position of letting her make the final call, trusting that she would pick something that will both help her plan her wedding, and still allow me to stay sane.

Not to mention, I have a sneaking suspicion that she'll be greatly distressed about my baby news, and that kills me a little bit too because under any other circumstance I know that she'd be overjoyed about it. Not that she's a bridezilla or anything, but she definitely wants her day to be her day, and I don't blame her.

I love her, and I want to support her in her marriage to this super cool guy (who, I might add, my husband and I introduced her to), but I don't want to ruin our relationship because I can't actually be involved on the day of her wedding. I can be supportive ahead of time, right?

Any insight would be most appreciated.

*****

Um, yeah. This is your best friend?? She's gonna be uber bummed that you're missing her wedding.

You can't just RESIGN, lady. I don't care how fat/tired you are. And asking her "what she wants your role to be" is super passive-aggressive. She wants you to be her fucking bridesmaid.

Which leaves us with b) Still be a bridesmaid.

If they take a 10 hour car ride to Vegas in your eighth month, then obviously you've got an excuse to bail. But, I mean, come on. What are all these fucking duties that all these brides are dumping on their fucking friends??

Joshua Scott Toy Font via Trendland

a simple request

Dear ESB

I am a long time fan of your blog, although I never thought I'd be writing to you. You seem to be able to help your readers with the most awesome dresses, rings and other advice. I don't mean to gush but you really are a fairy godmother.

I know you'll be able to help me because you are just that good.

I am planning to get married next Summer and as I'm a girl in my thirties, I should have an envy-inspiring wedding. I really think I have wasted the last 30 years by not planning for this event.  I am going to marry the most awesome guy - he's handsome, funny and runs a business making educational toys from reclaimed timber. In his spare time, he plays the drums in a band and volunteers for animal rescue. He's 6'1" and has the cutest beard.

My dress is made of fair trade, organic, carbon neutral hemp (no polyester please) in an 80s punk style. Also, there is lace, lots of lace. This is vintage, which I picked up on a (carbon-offset) trip to Belgium. I will be three months pregnant so this will help conceal my baby bump. I also have some awesome vintage killer heels that stop my dress looking like a monstrosity. I was originally thinking barefoot, but that limited my choice of wedding venue due to the risk of needle-stick injuries in public parks or beaches. Also, it would make me look really short next to my guy.

My outfit, hair, makeup, rings, venue, menu and invites are all sorted. I just need you help for one little part - I haven't found the groom as yet. I'm not too picky, other than the criteria above. 

Thanking you in advance

Your Biggest Fan

PS good luck. 

PPS ok I'm taking the piss but I think this is probably a simpler task that some of the requests that crazies send to you

*****

You know the old saw: You'll never find the guy until you've planned the wedding.

YOUR CARPENTER IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

Photo: Jessica Lange + Sam Shepard by Bruce Weber for Vanity Fair, 1984
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happy happy happy, you guys. i'll see you in the new year!

remember our hella rad down-to-earth bride?

You know, the GORGEOUS 4-months-pregnant-and--oopsy, was I allowed to say that?--glowing one?

Guess who her bff is? (pictured in red above)

Hi ESB,

You may remember that I wrote to you a few months back about my best friend's wedding, and how I couldn't really afford the travel to go. You put me in touch with one of your dear readers who had kindly offered me her frequent flyer miles. 

The wedding ended up being so beautiful and so much fun, and I'm so grateful that I was able to go. They had it in the Redwoods and had their reception dinner at Pizzaiolo, it was the best food I've ever had at a wedding!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that you and your blog, the dear readers, and my best friend... You all make me see the beauty in this World. 

Sincerely,
Girl who wanted to go to her best friend's wedding but also wanted to eat

I was too snotty to post this blurry iphone pic, but I ♥ it.

Also, I ♥ THIS BLOG x one hundred thousand million. You guys are the best.

(Photos by John + Louise Weddings)

our big day (from 17beats)

Greetings from your resident cranky-pants and kill-joy, 17beats !!!

You've been getting a lot of emails from women hemming and hawing about eloping ... or questioning if they should just scrap their over-the-top wedding plans and retreat to Vegas. Here's our story (and a bunch of pictures) about the wedding that we thought would never happen.

The whole event was almost completely spontaneous, which truth be told, is very US. It wasn't until 36 hours prior that I even contemplated getting a dress; I just figured I'd wear something I already owned. After lunch with a good friend, though, I picked out this little number on a whim. It was somehow flattering (a marvel when you're 4 months pregnant) and seemed like it could be worn again. Everything else -- the bracelet, the ring, the earrings, the clutch -- was part of my hoard of sparklies. I had planned on wearing some brown pumps, but switched to black that morning, as it was chilly and I needed to wear a jacket.

The entire day was easy-breezy. No hoopla whatsoever! D's best friend was the witness and the photographer -- we called him the night before. I am lucky enough to be friends with a florist, so the bouquet & corsage literally appeared on our doorman's desk that morning (such a lovely gift from a dear lady).

We got an early start, and bounced over to City Hall and did the deed IN UNDER TWENTY MINUTES, and then headed uptown to buy rings. The sales woman was over-the-moon excited for us -- apparently we were the first newlyweds she'd ever helped (in 25 years) and she just LOVED our "story." We celebrated with a divine lunch at the Modern, and a leisurely stroll through MoMA, something we never seem to have the time for. That was the whole idea of the day -- to have the date we always promise each other, but never do because of work/crowds/etc.

We came home and D surprised me with a "Happy Birthday and Wedding" cake from my favorite straight-out-of-1960 Italian bakery. It was filled with chocolate pudding and cannoli cream and was absolutely delicious. It actually said "Happy Birthday and Wedding" on the top in perfect florescent pink jelly-icing script, which I found endlessly amusing. (I think I forgot to mention that it happened to be my 30th birthday, and the day before the world was supposed to end... HA.) After some cake, we slow danced to Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" and I sobbed like the sentimental sap I evidently am.

But that's because it was a Perfect Day. People fawned over us and went out of their way to be kind. There were "Mazel Tovs," "Best Wishes," and handshakes at every turn. Without a reservation, we somehow scored a table at the restaurant in under a minute. Countless tourists took our photos, and ladies-who-lunch toasted us with champagne. A little girl told us we looked like a prince and a princess, and a security guard cracked Will and Kate jokes. Even though we wanted the day to be completely private and JUST BETWEEN US, we ended up sharing it with all of New York. It was magnificent.

I am overwhelmed with joy that you sent me these photos.

I love them love them love them. And I love your story. It's just what I needed to hear on September 12, 2011.

For the Shotgun Bride

Hey ESB,

I am getting married in a few months and I'm looking for a dress that's short, not too fancy, and maybe kinda 50s or 60s looking. I have a lot of tattoos, and would prefer to have something with a little sleeve (no spaghetti straps or strapless) to keep the less wedding-appropriate tattoos concealed. I don't want to spend a lot either. I'm also pregnant, so the dress needs to be somewhat forgiving and have some boob room. I'll be at that not-sure-if-you're-pregnant-or-fat stage at the wedding... 16 weeks pregnant. Here is the dress I've been thinking of getting, but it's not the most flattering.

Could you or your readers point me in the direction of some amazing dresses? I am lost on what to wear!

Help!

Sincerely,
Shotgun Bride

*****

Hey SB,

I'm gonna go ahead and ignore the 50's/60's request (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz) because I just found this Haute Hippie dress, and it is SO PERFECT for that is-she-pregnant-or-is-she-just-getting-fat phase. Bonus: You can show off those boobs!

Whoopsie. You said you didn't want to spend a lot of money. Maybe this is for a different shotgun bride.

Just don't buy the BCBG dress, okay? On anyone with a tummy it would be, as Celia says, no bueno.

xoxo,
esb

What do I give my secretly pregnant sister for her super secret wedding?

Dear ESB,

I need a rockstar gift idea for my secretly pregnant sister's secret wedding. Superduper secret, like her man and I are the only ones who know about it. Being the only one there to celebrate, I'd really like to present them with something fabulous for the occasion. Any ideas?

*****

I haven't exactly been batting a thousand with the sister posts,* so I asked two of my favorite bloggers-who-have-sisters to field this one.

Lauren said:

first, friar lawrence, congratulations on being the +1 at a secret wedding! from this i infer that you are both trustworthy and awesome. were i you, i'd give the happy couple either A) something that'll stick with them forever or B) the complete absence of things.

if A's your route, i suggest you offer to go out and spring for matching tattoos to commemorate the day you're all sharing. seriously. they don't have to be big or visible, just on each of you for good; nothing says "i've got your back forever" like "i've got this on my back forever."

if you're more of a B, i think you should give them a day that's complete from start to finish, no input needed. they've been making decision after decision for this secret wedding and secret pregnancy - engagement and conception force you to have opinions about and make calls on a frightening array of things - and could probably use some "don't worry, i've got this one." book them a dinner someplace they'll love, a room in a hotel that will treat them right (whether that means making them feel like serge and jane or making them feel like wills and kate), and a day of something they've talked about wistfully. if you happen to be an oil magnate, throw in some plane tickets so all of this can happen in a place they've been meaning to visit.

(psst: A.)

Celia said:

Lucky you! If I had only had one other person at my wedding, I would have also chosen my sister. Seeing as she's pregnant, and this super secret wedding is a tiny celebration, I'm assuming that your sister and her fiancé might be on a bit of a budget. If I were you, I'd hire the most badass photographer in town to document every special moment and all the sweet details of the day.

You don't even have to reveal your rockstar gift before the wedding. Just arrange everything with the photographer before the big day, and have him/her show up to surprise the bride and groom. Not only will they have gorgeous photographs of what will most likely be one of the best days of their lives, but your sister will also have great professional pregnancy photos. Trust me, when you're pregnant, you're kind of desperate for beautiful and tasteful pictures of yourself. 

And the cherry on top? Not only will this be a great gift for them to cherish forever, but it's something that your future nephew/niece will treasure too.

(Image via Vejde Gustafsson)
______________________________

*Celia pretty much schooled me here and here.