Where should we go on our MEXICAN HONEYMOON?

hi esb,

please help! with all of the wedding planning going on, the last thing on my list is trying to find our honeymoon location. i imagine relaxing on a beach while still having some culture and places to check out (no sandals resorts!).

i'm burnt out from doing countless hours of research online for the perfect honeymoon in mexico (preferably in/near the baja california sur area as we'll be flying from california). any advice for hotels/places to check out so that i can narrow down this insane amount of possibility?

thank you for any help that you can give!

*****

My lady Jamie recently went on a fabulous trip to Mexico (which, naturally, was fabulously documented), so I figured I'd just ask her to tell us about it....

Here is what you do: Book a flight into Puerto Vallarta (right out of Tijuana, if you happen to be in San Diego, and wanting to save some pennies), and a stay at Casa Ninamu. Johann, the proprietor, will arrange for you to be picked up at the airport in PV, and driven to Sayulita.

No need to rent a car, you can walk into town, or, if you are feeling lazy, drive the golf cart up the winding dirt road. Once there you should, in no particular order:

-nap on one of the two private beach cabanas
-nap on your own hammock, the only thing separating your living room from your infinity pool
-spend loads of time in your infinity pool
-have the estate's staff* cook you lunch
-have the estate's staff cook you breakfast
-have the estate's staff cook you dinner
-have the estate's staff cook you dinner, again
-have the estate's staff cook you pizza at your own outdoor pizza oven
-if you really want to eat out, sayulita cafe is there for you
-you also have your own kitchen. but why bother?
-take in the impeccable interior design
-enjoy the sound of the rain hitting the awning over your living room, as the light filters through the thatching (are you inside or outside? it is so wonderfully confusing)
-join johann and his wife (one of the world's leading fashion photographers) for cocktails at sunset on their INSANE indoor/outdoor living room/pool/deck (i don't even know what to call it) area while their three tow-headed boys politely play hide and seek nearby and their horse-sized mastiff snoozes on the floor below you
-nap on your roof top bed
-stop being such shut-ins and explore the adorable little cobble stones hippie surfer expat town that is sayulita

-have burritos at burrito revolution
-take the kayak out for a go, it's just sitting there on the beach
-go for a horseback ride, from your front door
-picnic on the crazy expansive and private lawn just steps from your house
-release baby sea turtles smaller than the palm of your hand into the ocean
-take photos at playa de los muertos before sunset, then take a moonlit dip in the calm waters of the magical adjacent beach
-what, you don't want to nap and eat all day? jungle tours. surfing. boat charters. fishing. yoga. but don't waste your time researching it ahead of time. the estate's staff can set you up with everything. 

*the staff is awesome and is there to help you as little or as much as you like. if it is privacy you desire, they will NOT disturb.

(Photos by Jamie Street, also known as 1/2 of Rad + In Love)
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p.s. I've also got readers requesting guides to São Paulo, Bermuda, Buenos Aires and PARIS. Who wants to write a guest post?

What do I wear on my Mexican honeymoon?

Aug 2

ESB - 

My fiance and I are planning to abscond to SF for a private ceremony at City Hall before heading south of the border to honeymoon in Mexico this October. We're staying here and absolutely can not wait. I know this sounds like a petty worry in the world of wedding planning hardship, but I'm not getting anywhere on my own, and google is no help. 

The thing is - I want to look and feel completely fabulous on my honeymoon. I want to look in my closet and every once in a while come across something that brings me back to the feel and smells and sounds of the days we spend together there. I want our future kids to see photos and think, damn Mom and Dad were sort of hot. 

I have done the backpacking thing. I have owned my fair share of Chacos and utilitarian bags. But my hostel days are over and I want to - at least for a week - feel more like an international woman of mystery than a seasoned 'off the beaten path' traveler.

My problem is that I can't seem to find designers or retailers that capture this feel and I don't know how to look for them. Can you or your readers point me toward a place or two that will give this flip flop wearing non-profit gal a little Mexican bond girl style? 

A million thanks,
Channeling my Inner Salma Hayek

*****

Sept 21

I AM SUCH A DICK.

Is it too late???

*****

Sept 21

No! We don't leave until next month and I still haven't gotten anywhere!

*****

Sept 23

K, what size are you? Aaaaaaaaand are you busty?

*****

Sept 23

Fairly medium all around, size 8 in most bottoms, 6 on top, not particularly busty, definitely bigger hips/legs with somewhat smaller top half. 

*****

OMG BEST. You get to wear all the sexy halter-y things that I can't.

Pictured above: Velvet Robbyn Dress ($65 down from $130) at Shopbop, Undrest Brazilian String Bikini from Madewell ($140 down from $200), Tucker Silk Kaftan ($138 down from $345) at Saks,* Valentine Peep-Toe Wedges from Loeffler Randall ($150 down from $375, also avail at Saks)
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*EVERYBODY NEEDS A KAFTAN.

where should a couple of Aussies go in HAWAII?

Dear ESB,

FH and I are getting married in Sept in Sydney - great, no problems there. We weren't planning on having a honeymoon due to work commitments, blah blah.

Now good friends of ours are getting married in Hawaii (Kauai) in March and we thought we might go and make it our honeymoon too. Only problem is that I have no idea about where is good to go in Hawaii! I have tried looking online but I have had bad experiences with booking online... the photos seem to lie a lot.

Do you or your readers have any recommendations? We will be going for about 10 days and will spend 4 days on Kauai (at the Outrigger Waipouli beach) for the wedding - after that we need a plan. Not keen on Waikiki or anywhere too touristy - we are beach bums and want something super chilled out and relaxed. Hawaii looks like an awesome place with beautiful scenery and I don't want to ruin it by ending up somewhere built up, in a giant hotel.

Thanks so much in advance!

*****

I enlisted Heather of One Love Photo to help me with this one. Heather's partner Jon is from Hawaii, so they spend a lot of time (and shoot a lot of weddings!) there.

Here's what Heather had to say:

My advice would be to stay on Kauai the whole time and head North to Hanalei right after the wedding.

A perfect day in Hanalei would be; drive to the pier in Hanalei Bay and rent two paddle boards or kayaks. Go for a paddle up the river from the rental place (get a half day rental). Once you get done with your paddle eat some tacos at Pete's Taco truck in the parking lot (best tacos ever). Eat your tacos on the pier with your feet dangling over the edge. Then head over to the bay for a swim. Then drive up to the end of the road to watch the sunset at Ke'e Beach park. 

Have dinner back in Hanalei at Neide's Salsa & Samba in the back of Hanalei Center. Get the kalua pork chimichanga then walk across the street for some people watching, music and a super stiff Mai Tai at Tahiti Nui.

Accommodations

I would recommend renting a condo through VRBO (vacation rental by owner) or Craigslist for a full week while in Hawaii. You will get the best rate if you do a full week. We have scored some great deals through both websites. The last time we visited Kauai we got a two bedroom, two bath fully furnished condo with kitchen, Lanai and full ocean view in Princeville for $125.00 per night! The key is to book your room as last minute as possible to get the cheapest rates. Princeville is a a golf community on the Northshore. Tons of condos, very developed and a little weird but it has great rates and the island beauty is a short 5-10 minute drive right outside of "condoland."

Kauai Food

Kintaro -- On the east side, in Wailua, right after you cross the river going toward the north shore from the airport on your right. The best sushi I have ever had, hands down. Get a Hanalei Roll and have a sake drop. Gets really busy, so you might want to make a reservation.

Postcards -- In Hanalei, on the left right when you first get into town. It is small and lovely and the food is really good. Always lots of hippies in the kitchen ;)

The Hanalei Gourmet -- Go on fish taco night -- they are the best! The Gourmet also has great drinks and live music.

Tahiti Nui -- This is the most classic, local-style, shady-business bar in Hanalei -- it's awesome. Karaoke, cheap(er) drinks, great people watching.

Best Beaches

Ke'e Beach -- The very end of the road, on the north shore. Great snorkeling. This is also where the Na Pali coast begins. If you like to hike, take the trail to Hanakapiai (a couple of miles.) Amazing views! The trail ends in Kalalau Valley, kind of a gnarly hike but you will get amazing pictures!

Tunnels -- This is before you get to Ke'e. Gets really busy, but if you go down the beach in either direction you can usually find your own spot away from people. Really great snorkeling and diving.

Hanalei Bay -- In Hanalei. Sandy, nice, mellow surf (except in winter) great for kayaking or just swimming/walking, etc.

All time Best!

If you're planning to do anything active, I would rent kayaks or Stand Up Paddle Boards and go down the Wailua River on the East side or the Hanalei River. So beautiful!!!

Hit a Farmers market or two. Make sure that one of them is the Tuesday afternoon market in Waipa (just outside of Hanalei when you are heading to the end of the road). It is the best. Everyone lines up right before it opens at 2pm and then when they open it up everyone rushes the stands to get their goods.

Cocktails at the Princeville Hotel -- swanky and spectacular -- get drinks in the lobby at sunset and feel like a rock star.

Other fun stuff to see....

Art Walk in Hanapepe

Waimea Canyon -- Can't miss this, Grand Canyon Hawaii style, eat lunch after your drive up to the viewpoint not before. Small windy roads!

Glass Beach -- AWESOME if you like beach-combing. Do the canyon and glass beach earlier in the week while staying at the wedding resort (less driving).

Thanks, Heather! NOW WE ALL WANT A MAI TAI.

Images by One Love Photo

Dear My Readers: Where should we stop on our west coast-ish road trip?

I've got two weeks left at this casting gig* and then H and are gonna get the hell out of LA. We plan to throw our shit in the car and meander up BC to visit my dad.

Which route should we take? Where should we stop along the way? Of particular interest are: Flea markets, rodeos, dive bars, lakes, hot springs, swimming holes. Beaches are pretty cool too, I guess.

And. Do you have recommendations for….. camping? We did the trip once before (on our honeymoon!) but we didn't camp. This time we're feeling braver, and thriftier.

Photo by Christina Richards

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*Anyone in LA want a free tattoo?

where should a couple of Aussies go in NYC? (The Follow Up)

Hello ESB

Just wanted to drop you a line to say thanks for posting our What-to-do-in-NYC honeymoon question. 

Firstly, remember these? They were awesome. Perfect for every day and are now broken in to perfection.

Second, the puffer. I took both you and your commenters' advice and took a slim(ish) puffer and a dressier woolen coat. Worked a treat. We arrived on a 14 degree day and I was very grateful for the puff. Was also grateful for the wool when we went out for fancy dinner.

Finally, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who commented and suggested places to go, things to eat and stuff to do. Amongst many other things we did WD50, walked the Highline, ate at Shake Shack, Grimaldi's, Caracas Arepa, La Esquina, The Meatball Shop, Doughnut Plant and Schiller's. We went down a crazy slide at the New Museum, went to the Brooklyn Flea, and attempted entry to a speakeasy or two...

Thanks to everyone involved with suggestions.

*****

Missing New York like crazeballs over here.

Man I ♥ NY.

Hippie-Inspired Buddhist Wedding featuring a GENUINE VINTAGE Dress

Hi East Side Bride,

I am a California girl trapped in Pennsylvania where I moved for a job. I am a writer (my novella California was published by LA record label Teenage Teardrops) and teach creative writing at a small liberal arts college. I love what I do, and jobs are scarce, so here I am. 

My parents got married super hippie style on a cliff in Arcata, CA where I was born in the 70's and that has always been my idea of perfect. My dad wore a cape. We wanted to do something in California and something in Pennsylvania where my husband Neil is from, something super intimate and as stress free as possible, and something later where all our friends and family could be together. We decided to have a small private ceremony in December in Marin County at Spirit Rock Meditation Center with three witness, and have a reception for family and friends in May 2012. It worked out great. 

My meditation teacher offered to marry us while teaching a retreat on a hillside on this incredible preserved land -- rolling golden hills, wild turkey, deer, live oak trees, bliss. Her hair just happened to match my bouquet that day. We were lucky on a lot of counts: great weather, all three witnesses were talented photographers, we didn't have to deal with any one else's input, or go into massive amounts of debt. I've never been excited by traditional wedding gowns, and it turned out my mom had saved this old vintage dress of hers that I think I wore for Halloween one year in high school. Luckily I didn't mind that it had holes and had yellowed over the years, and amazingly enough it still fit. 

We spent four days in San Francisco with friends, I did a reading the public library there, got an incredible bouquet of ranunculus, peonies, and thistle at Bell & Trunk Flowers, and then we headed over the Golden Gate. We stayed at the Olema Cottages which couldn't have been more charming, and had a knock out meal at the Olema Inn. We splurged on rings designed by my incredibly talented pal Kathryn Bentley, and I bought some hooker-y red suede platform heels that I wore for only about 20 mins because I needed to keep my boots on for scaling the hills. All these photos attached were taken in a quick 15-minute rush to catch the light. 

Needless to say, we were really happy with our choices.

Thank you for having the only decent wedding blog. The rest of them make me barf.

♥

(Photos by Eugene Ahn and Joanne Kim)

At long last, IT'S EPISODE 4

Relationship drama, a thank-you card dilemma, AND a really juicy question from a (maybe?) virgin. All packed into 7 minutes.

Call (323) 905-4ESB to record your questions, comments and kudos.

SOS: The Honeymoon is off -- where can we mini-moon in Minneapolis next week??

Dear ESB,

This last week, I was in a horrible car accident on the way home from picking up my wedding dress. I am lucky to be alive (I have 4 fractures in my pelvis, 2 cracked ribs, and a tear on my liver). We have to decided that the wedding will go on, despite the fact that I will not be able to walk down the aisle on my own (crutches or a walker, not sure which yet).

We also decided that the SUPER FUN honeymoon we had planned for Hawaii, cannot go on. I can't be in a car for that long, and I wouldn't be up for the hiking, snorkeling, & general adventures to be had in the sunshine.

So here's where I'm hoping you (or your readers) can help. Any suggestions for a cool "mini moon" within 2 hours of the Twin Cities, Minnesota? I know it's a long shot, but also worth a try.

Thanks for any help you can provide! And by the way, we're getting married January 1st, so the help is needed ASAP.  :)

*****

LADYPANTS

I'm so glad you're okay.

I don't know anything about Minneapolis/the Twin Cities, but I'm throwing this out to anyone who does. You deserve a spectacular mini-moon (obvs).

Keep in touch, will you?

♥ 

Image via Pinterest. Does anyone know who the artist is?

where should a couple of Aussies go in NYC?

Hello ESB.

Straight to it - we're honeymooning in New York. In January. We live in Sydney, Australia, where winters barely make it below 60 (yes, I just googled the conversion). Cities with snow are practically fairy tales.

Can you help us out? What shall we do, where shall we go? We are big foodies, love big cities, and love adventuring. Both of us have been to NYC before, separately and years ago, and we want to rediscover this town in all its glory together and in style. We've done the tourist stuff - this time it's personal.

Also... what does a lady wear in a NYC winter to keep herself warm? Should I buy some sort of awesome coat? Any suggestions?

Thanks so much!

Sunny in Sydney

*****

Since I briefly put this one up by accident (you can't blame me for mixing up the Aussie honeymooners with the Aussie elopers, can you??) I figure I'll let you guys take a crack at restaurants/adventures.

COME BACK ANON! Give us those suggestions again, will you??

As for warmth/fashion, because you're not used to the cold, I recommend a classic down jacket like this one by North Face.

(Which, if you don't trust me and you arrive without one and proceed to freeze your tits off, you can always pick one up on lower Broadway.)

And I have a bit of bad news. Snow in New York is only magical for a brief moment: while it's falling. Once it hits the pavement it turns into wet slush.

This means a pair of waterproof boots is essential. I'm digging these Fryes.

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that in Sydney you wear Uggs as SLIPPERS, not as motherfucking street shoes like the ding-dong NYU girls.

Top photo: The Selby via Skittish Skies

Seeking: sexaay intimates for a hipster boy

Dear ESB,

Where does a straight man go for some sexaay intimates? Undies, a robe, non-gross aftershave, maybe even some cool socks and sock garters (OK, sock garters are my thing, and he probably won't want to wear them, but still...)? 

I know everyone's definition of what constitutes "sexy" underthings is different, but you know the kind of shit your readers tend to like. Something that's not Hanes His Way, but that's also not a thong or a pair of over-sized purple silk boxers pre-scented with Axe body spray. Something that says he's scrubbed, stylin', and went out of his way to look nice for you. 

Are there one-stop-shop places for intimates for hipster guys, like there are for gals? Or is my man (and me too) SOL? 

PS: Honeymoon is in Hawaii so no super-heavy fabrics

THANKS, LADY!

*****

Sock garters are your thing?

Do the rest of you have bizarre fetishes i ought to know about??

THERE IS NO COOL PLACE THAT SELLS SOCK GARTERS.

As far as a one stop shop for hipster boys, Steven Alan is about as close as you can get. (And when you say "hipster," I assume you mean yipster, because hipsters don't scrub all that often. Obviously.)

Steven Alan isn't carrying pajama bottoms at the moment, which kills me because the pair I bought for H last year are SO BEST, but I assume their boxers are just as good.

And I like the sound of the manly apothecary items they carry, like Citrus/Ginger Sea Salt Spray + Sea Kelp/Clary Sage Bath Salt.

H is also a huge fan of Malin + Goetz, especially the Peppermint Shampoo, Cilantro Hair Conditioner and Bergamot Body Wash.

I really ought to buy him the Cannabis Candle ("addictive and sexy")!



Realizing I sorta didn't fully answer your question. Oh well. I got a little pre-Christmas brainstorming done.

Photo: February 12, 1909, "James Clarke, winner of Brooklyn Marathon, with others," 5x7 glass negative, George Grantham Bain Collection via Shorpy

Please help me find a bathing suit!!

Dear ESB,

Next month, I'm getting married and going to South America for our honeymoon in the Andes mountains. This won't be a beach-y vacation by any means, but there will be some occasions to wear a swimsuit (hot springs, and maybe a pool).

I'm an athletic, hourglass size 10 - I am pretty comfortable in my skin and I'm not trying to find a suit that creates the illusion that I stopped drinking beer or eating pie after I got engaged (I did not).

Last spring, I bought one of those Jantzen vintage-inspired one-pieces thinking that hey, finally a suit for the busty pale lady with a small waist. But I bought it in turquoise (because that color was the most discounted) and I am pretty sure it reads matronly and not vintage-hot. Also, I had it hanging to dry in the bathroom and a girlfriend remarked on it and asked (innocently!) if my mom was visiting. I was crushed.

Can you help me out? I don't really care for precious details, no bows. And I would rather show my cellulite than wear a suit with a skirt on it.

Thanks!!!

*****

Feel like shopping, you guys?

Are there even any suits left now that it's August??

Photo: Jean Patchett by Serge Balkin for Vogue (1950) via myvintagevogue

If I were to get married now...................

from Martha B. of Nibs

Hindsight is a tricky thing. It can make you appreciate some of the decisions you've made. But it can also make you regret the paths not taken. When I look back at our wedding day I made lots of choices...some good...some not so good.

The good ones- I kept within a tight budget which dictated a lot. Yet I can honestly say I never felt cheated. I skipped the big sitdown dinner in favor of light hors d'oeuvres and a three-tiered cake. Decorations were left to our best man who happened to be a talented graphic designer. What he did with 300 balloons was absolutely amazing! I nixed tuxes and had the guys wear navy blue suits. My satin dress and my two bridesmaids' taffeta skirts were sewn by my mother. An old high school friend took pictures. My husband and I then drove off in his vintage V.W. Beetle and spent our honeymoon in Vermont.

The not so good ones aren't really bad. I just wish I hadn't done them. One in particular stands out that has to do with my husband. When we discussed his wedding attire I suggested that he and the guys wear suits. He was more than happy with this arrangement. I also suggested he wear black shoes. My husband looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head no. He hates black shoes. Instead he planned to wear brown ones. Well...I hit the roof. I argued that they wouldn't look right for the photographs and used a number of other excuses I could think of. In the end he relinquished and wore the dreaded shoes. I cringe when I think about it now. Because, in hindsight, it really didn't matter. My advice...pick your battles carefully.

We've been married over XX years. Our wedding has faded into the background of everyday life that makes up our marriage. We've had our share of disappointments and sadness. But we've also had a lot of joy and laughter. Each anniversary together reminds me that I married my best friend.

If we were to get married now...what would I choose?

1. I got married in January between college semesters. What was I thinking? Not to mention it was bitterly cold and we had a terrible blizzard the day of the wedding. Give me a warm day in spring or summer.

2. Skip the formal invitations for handwritten ones. Or have Christine design invitations like she did for our anniversary.

3. No big wedding with half the people I don't even know. I'd plan a small, intimate wedding & reception at home with just family and close friends. I'd serve our favorite foods like my mom's 'Chicken and rice.' Instead of the usual cake I'd have something unexpected.

4. I'd wear only one ring- a vintage band with diamonds c. 1930.

5. My new dress wouldn't be white but a soft blush color accented in black. I love classic ballet flats but with a twist. I'd wear this fun headband. For the romantic in me,  nothing beats a bouquet of fresh roses.

6. Lastly, my husband and I would jump in our old V.W. Beetle and the two of us would take a honeymoon road trip to...anywhere! :)

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Catch up with the rest of the series here.

Giveaway: Catbird candle

**now closed**

I never do giveaways. Okay, almost never. I only ever give away things that I would want.

The Catbird candle comes in six scents, including Campfire (woodsmoke, saddle leather & honey) and Tarot Deck (incense, turkish rose & pencil shavings). PENCIL SHAVINGS.

Head over to the Catbird blog and read about all six, then come back and leave a comment (with your email address) telling me which one sounds most enticing to you. The winner, to be chosen at random a week from today, will receive a large candle in the scent of her choice.

HOW COOL IS THAT?

I have connections, people.

______________________________

p.s. May I just also say that I'm so stoked these are available in a travel size? No honeymooner should leave home without a travel candle or two.

**Random.org has spoken. Kristy (#78) wins the candle! Now she has to decide which one she wants.**

Is it tacky to register for a honeymoon?

Dear ESB,

My fiance and I have been living together for almost four years and pretty much have all we need. And while I could make a whole list of pretty things, I would much rather have some money to pay for the honeymoon.

I recently came across a gift registry site that allows you to put things from anywhere on your list for your guests to purchase. You can also put a trip (i.e. honeymoon!) on there and guests can make donations toward it. While the idea sounds awesome, I am wondering if this is tacky to ask of your guests?

*****

I give you this anecdote Naurnie emailed me recently:

My mother's very good friend was at my wedding shower + we were having a discussion about people who register for cash or one of those 'honeymoon' things. 

Her response? "You can't afford a honeymoon? Put that in my 'I-don't-give-a-shit bucket.' I am NOT paying for your damn snorkeling excursion."

(Michele Lamy via Alison Feldman via Love is the new black)

Wish I were there

I stumbled upon this image of Tofino (where we spent the first glorious leg of our honeymoon) on forty-sixth at grace

Nikole grew up on the west coast of canada and spent childhood weekends on qualicum beach, only an hour from my dad's house. I love finding neighbors via the internet.

This photo of qualicum and the queen anne's lace makes me sigh and think of my wedding bouquet.

I never go to the beach in LA. Maybe I should try that?

F* valentine's day

What I really wish is that we were heading off on the next leg of our honeymoon road trip.*

*I cried on the last night of our honeymoon. I didn't want it to be over. H-town told me that the honeymoon will never be over. We just have to make a few long stopovers here and there, y'know, to work and go to school and stuff.

(kparrish via Double Takes via Bliss)