Say Anything

#2 - Just a quick tip to tide y'all over while our favorite bride is on the road.

Your wedding should be a time when you are surrounded by love. It's also a chance for all your favorite people to get to know each other and to better understand the roles we play in your lives. For these reasons (and 'cause it's tradition and I'm an old fashioned girl), you should encourage people to toast you!

I have been to more than one wedding where the only toast came from the bride or the groom and it's depressing. It's a lost opportunity when you have all these people gathered and we don't get to hear your dad's voice crack or watch your brother make a joke at your expense or see your best friend screw up her courage and say that she's really happy for you.

I understand if you don't want the toast to turn in to a roast, but asking one or two dependable (read: not drunk) folks to say a few words adds a lot to the day. And, I would guess, the memories will make a lasting impression because they are the moments you didn't get to plan.

Tell a teacher or another adult you trust

I'm flattered to be here. I haven't been in as many weddings as some ladies; those sorority girls stack 'em like cord wood! But I have been up and down the aisle enough times to know a few things. These tips are in no particular order, they're just advice from the perspective of a member of the wedding who knows this day is all about you and who wants to make your wedding dreams come true. (I really am that sentimental.)

#1 - Tell someone your plans; your maid of honor, your mom, the caterer, someone! Or, even better, write them down...with diagrams.

Leading up to and on the wedding day there will be many idle hands willing to work. And, despite your best intentions, you will NOT be available to guide them. I promise, you will be getting your hair done or deliberating over which shoes or fighting with your mom.

We need to know:
which chores need to get done - finish the favors, hang the twinkle lights, buy the ice

where things should go - how many chairs go around each table, where do we hide the computer

when everything is supposed to happen - is someone supposed to come out on the dance floor during your first dance to serenade you

and, most importantly, your priorities - what is the thing that must happen in order to make your day perfect and what can we let slide if we really run out of time?

Examples of bad planning I have witnessed:

the collection of antique dishes that had not been taken out of their ebay shipping box until an hour before the reception - thank god there was a dishwasher at the wedding site

the dirty bathroom with no toilet paper and no soap - a roll of paper towels sufficed

curtains being mistaken for tablecloths until 20 minutes before the guests arrived - good eye, Joanne!

the best man not being warned he should have a toast prepared - that one was just depressing.

Introducing: I'd rather be a bridesmaid

My oldest friend in the world drove down from San Francisco last weekend to co-host my bachelorette party. (That's her in the rabbit fur. I'm rocking the orange parka.)

Not only was she instrumental in making the entire weekend fabulous, she had some great down-and-dirty wedding-planning advice that I begged her to share with everyone.

So.... I'd rather be a bridesmaid will be posting now and then, offering wisdom gleaned from many years of participating in indie, artsy, and maybe even a few (gasp) conventional weddings.

She might give us some beauty tips too. I've already started using the organic skincare products she brought me from work, even though she warned me not to start a new regime right before the wedding. (Hey, my skin has never looked better.)

Hooray!