Seeking: Big Ol Size 11's to go with this dress

Dear ESB, 

I feel like I keep searching and continually come up empty in my quest for the right shoes for my wedding, so I'm hoping you and your readers can help get me on track! This is my dress [pictured above] and I'm wearing gold jewelry, so I'm thinking of wearing a gold or cream colored sandal at my wedding in October. 

Sounds simple, right?  There are a couple of things that have made it more difficult to find the right one. 

>>I really want a shoe with a low-ish heel - and preferably a wedge - since I'm crazy clumsy and therefore terrible in heels. This rules out a lot of options. 

>>Finding the right tone of gold - I don't want anything too shiny, but more of a matte or distressed look - or the right shade of cream - one that works with the dress - has been hard. 

>>Finally, the kicker is that I've got enormous feet.  I wear a size 11, and it's crazy hard to find good shoes in that size anyway, let alone something so specific.  

Help!  I'm sure there are resources I'm not looking at that would be good to investigate. I'd love to spend no more than $200 on these guys.

Thanks!

*****

DUDE THESE ARE ON SALE FOR $150

AND THEY COME IN ELEVEN

Have I not told you all to just check Loeffler Randall before you pester me with shoe questions??

AAAAARgh the Catholic guilt is killing me!!!!!

Dear ESB,

I'm a long time reader and lurker, and right now I need someone with lady balls to get some sense in my head...

My super boyfriend proposed to me last year in February and being the lazy asses that we are, we just enjoyed being engaged for almost a year without planning anything in particular.

Fast forward to July last year when I moved to switzerland for a new job and we started to think about planning everything so we could get married and he could come and meet me (he'd need a visa to stay here for more than 3 months, and I have one, so if we're married he gets one visa just like mine).

Ok, fast forward to Christmas, and still no concrete planing (did i mention we're lazyasses?). We decided that we'd want to get married either in June or August, depending on the dates the priest we  want to marry us have available. We talk to the guy and he tells us that he'll get back to us on the dates. So we waited for the super cool priest (yes, they are rare but they do exist) to get back to us, and when he finally did in the beginning of January we were so happy that he had one of the dates available in June (yay date set, check!).

That evening, after I skyped my mom to tell her the great news (the priest dude is the same one who officiated her wedding to dad) and after she was totally thrilled her sister (and my godmother) calls me... And here's where all the drama begins...

We were talking about normal things when she asked me what were the developments in the wedding department, and I told her "hey, great news! We spoke to the super cool priest dude and we have a date!" And she tells me "oh yes?" and I told her "yes, 29th of June, isn't that great?" And she just answered "oh, that's just fantastic. So you schedule those things without asking anybody else?" and hung up almost immediately.

I was completely struck by this, as I didn't even think that I was supposed to 'ask permission' to set my own wedding date, and suddenly started to feel like one of those bridezillas you see on tv.

So this was just a little over a month ago and we haven't talked since (apart from an email I sent her on the day that followed our skype conversation to which she hasn't responded).

And the drama ensued… All my family (except from my awesome parents) think that it is me who should call her and 'apologize' and ask her to be my wedding godmother (a catholic equivalent of a MOH, since we don't have the MOH/Best Man tradition).

The thing is, I don't really want her to be my wedding godmother just because she's supposed to be 'by tradition.' She *never* *ever* *ever* sounded minimally happy when we spoke wedding stuff (not even when I told her I was engaged). She asked me over and over again if I'm sure of what I'm doing because men are terrible hard work and boring as hell. She gave shit to my mom because we went (me and mom) check out wedding dresses and didn't give her a call or sent pictures (I found my dress for about $500 in the 1st store we entered but the clerk wouldn't let us take a picture). She kept saying that we're rushing into this (I'm 26, he's 29, we've been together for 4 and a half years, and this is not a rash decision).

All considering, I do not want this woman to be my witness at the wedding, because frankly she seems to be bothered by it.

As I said earlier, all my family think I should be the one to bury the hatchet and give her a call, because they think I owe her a lot. I lived with her for a few years during college and she was of great help when it came to find my first job. All of which I am very grateful for, and all of which I have thanked her during the course of our relationship. I just don't think that a wedding is a place to 'settle debts.'

Shit, what should I do, oh wise one? Everyone is f*cking pressuring me to do something I'm really not comfortable right now (and don't know if I'll ever be), and they're all Catholic guilting me! This is supposed to be a happy time, and has been, in a way but not totally because of this crap.

Sorry for the overly long e-mail, but I've been stewing in my own juices (does that sound dirty?) for a month and really need a perspective from somebody from the outside.

Best,
AAAAARgh.........!!!!!

Ps- the rest of the planning is going really well, we already have a venue, photographers, wedding bands and the priest, yay!

Ps2 - I forgot to say that my mom is actually hurting with all this situation, because my aunt is her only sister, and i'm her only daughter. I guess in her head, the day of my wedding would include her sister as my 'godmother'. Still she's hurting but not pressuring, which is kind of sweet.

Ps3 - Again, sorry, this aunt of mine is an overbearing member of our family. If everything is not made to accommodate her desires she'll throw a tantrum (of silent treatment, but still a tantrum). I mean, she doesn't eat mammals or duck, and if we're all have dinner in grandma's house and there's roast beef for everybody and turkey for her or whatever, she'll give us all shit because we're eating 'smart animals.' That kind of thing.

*****

First off, it IS good practice to run your date by the VIPs before you lock it (mom, dad, best man + maid of honor, wedding godmother?? anyone you have to have there on the day). Whether or not your godmother counts as a 'VIP' is clearly up for 'debate.'

I can't tell you what to do.

Basically, you have to decide which is worse: 1) sucking it up and asking the a*hole to be your witness, or 2) dealing with the Catholic guilt for the rest of your life.

Photo: Ben Toms for AnOther Magazine
______________________________

I already have a catholic guilt tag!! I love me sometimes.

Dress Hunt for a Non-Bride-y, Eco-Conscious, California Mountain Woman

Dear ESB, 

I've loved reading your blog for the past few months-- it's such a breath of fresh air. You have amazing fashion sense, and that's why I'm writing to you now. 

First of all: I'm a professional naturalist and a former park ranger. I spend my a big chunk of my life encouraging people to develop their connection to nature and the rest of society, to care for the earth, and to explore the wild. I try to teach people that what they buy affects the world socially and environmentally, and it's best to know how and where products are made before we buy them. I'm marrying an adorable woodworker (shameless plug here) who makes his furniture out of 100% reclaimed wood. He comes home wearing plaid covered in sawdust. Hot. 

Second: I live in the middle of nowhere, up next to the Sierra Nevada Mountains in a tiny little town that doesn't even have a signal light. And I LOVE it. But... there is almost nowhere to shop. LA and the Bay Area are a few hundred miles from me, so I'm reluctant to make the drive and aimlessly run around looking for dresses. 

Third: I committed the ultimate sin and bought this BHLDN dress. The shame. But I was in Houston with all of my relatives, it was one of the few opportunities I'd have to try on a cute dress, and I bit. But now I want to return it because it was probably made in a sweat shop. And it's polyester. Ick. 

Could you and your readers help me find another dress? Here are some basic guidelines:

1. I look a little bit like Botticelli's Venus: full thighs, small waist, small boobs, and curly blonde hair. So the dress needs to have a fuller skirt and a fitted top to be flattering. I'm about 5'8 and a dress size 4.

2. What I dislike: the bride-y cupcake look. I've looked at some of the eco dress posts on ESB, and they weren't really my style. None of the eco Etsy dresses I've looked at are appealing to me at all because they're either white and floofy or they look like a pile doilies stitched together.

3. What I love: natural, clean lines, embellished details that make the outfit pop. I love Alabama Chanin because the looks are simple but elegant, they use natural materials, the clothes are ethically made in the US... but it's crazy expensive. This is my favorite AC outfit.  It's for the tune of about $6,000 in total, so sadly not an option. The cheaper, simpler AC clothes may be just a bit too everyday to be a wedding dress. 

4. Designer or company needs to have a genuine environmental and workplace policies in place.

5. The dress does not need to be white. I'm happy with blue or earthy tones, just so long as it makes me look like a total goddess. 

6. The dress needs to be made in the USA. It would be awesome if someone found a dress made in California because I think it's important to shop locally. 

7. It's essential that the dress is made of natural materials, preferably organic, such as silk, cotton, hemp, etc. 

8. It may be a little chilly during the wedding (50 - 65 F), so it needs to have a little bit of sleeve or have something to go over it, like a cute jacket.

9. I'd prefer a full length dress to impress the fiance. 

10. My budget is under $1,000. $2,000 for something really amazing.

11. Something I could wear again would be huge bonus points, even if it needed to be dyed or altered. 

I hope y'all (that's right, I'm from Texas) can find something. Thanks!!

*****

Blah blah blah

Blah blah

Blah Blah

Does anyone feel like helping this GODDESS out?

Because honestly I couldn't even get through her email.

Dear ESB: Will you be my Fairy Godmother?

Hi there,

I love your blog, and I knew that I'd be writing you for advice sooner or later.

Can you help me find something like this dress but white and not in a synthetic fabric? With a V-cut back, if possible, for some drama but something that I can wear again without screaming BRIDE. Obvs, if it's not $$$$, that would be perfect.

I found it in the book Style Clinic.

And shoe recommendations?? Not too high, and the weather could be cold or hot in May. Thank you. Thank you.

*****

No problem.

Will you be needing a sparklepony or a narwhal to ride in on?

Photo of Nicki Minaj via My Pink Friday

Dear ESB: Please do the icky part for me.

I'm getting married in September 2012 in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. The ceremony is going to be on the beach. I am having about 100 guests (I think) and am having a lot of trouble figuring out the reception. This is a budget wedding, I want good food, laid back reception. No banquet halls, restaurants are looking expensive...any ideas? Looking forward to your guidance

*****

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?

I'm not a fucking wedding planner.

Photo: Poppy Delevingne via WHOWHATWEAR via Kelly Edmonson