A lookbook inspired by wedding portraits inspired by a lookbook

Just when you thought maybe the faux-mustache thing had finally, quietly, petered out.

Fortunately this guy is pretty cute in his lil jacket.

Days of Yore by Mr. Kate photographed by Kat Borchart via because im addicted

Sexiest diamond commercial EVARRRRRRR

Or: Short film featuring the sexiest fucking jewelry you've ever seen??

MOOD PIECE?

Whatever you want to call it, I directed it, and I am pret-ty pleased with the way it turned out.

Featuring Anya Skidan, Matthew Green, and Teepee
Cinematography by Jon Edward Miller
Hair + Makeup by Charlie Taylor
Flowers by Amy Merrick
Music by Oceanographer
Jewelry, Props + Styling by Catbird, of course. (Head on over there to shop the video.)

Asking guests to donate to NO on PROP 8: Tacky or Thoughtful?

Hi!

My fiancé and I live in the Castro district of San Francisco and I can't help but feel guilty that we're legally allowed to get married while the vast majority of our neighbors are not. Yes, I realize that my neighbors do not personally view us as the "hetero-enemy" or anything, but it just makes me sad that same-sex marriage is still illegal in California and I don't want to ignore that fact.

I read one suggestion that I kind of liked: on the registry page of our wedding website, include a section that says we would also appreciate donations made out to "charity X" so everyone in California can legally marry their loved ones, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Would doing that be tacky/pretentious or respectful/sensitive? Do you have any other suggestions that are better? I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but this issue is important to us and we'd like to respectfully address it in some way.

Thanks!

*****

I love that idea.

Couple and Child, San Francisco Gay Parade (1978) courtesy of the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art

Make me droll.

Um.

There has got to be a place for these hand-carved rubber stamp sets somewhere in the wedding world. If you defaced your engagement photos before you sent them to me, for example, I might even put them on my refrigerator.

By Patricia of Memi The Rainbow. (See more photos on Memi The Rainbow's blog, and don't miss the donut + macaron stamps.)

Via Creature Comforts

Should I propose to him?

Dear E.S.B.

Ok so here’s the thing. I’m thinking of proposing to him. Not proposing in the traditional sense, because we both already know we’re going to get married some day. He asked me years ago, and with the joy of being young and in love, what else would I say but yes? The more interesting thing is though, that we’ve stayed together for 7 years since, through lots of various drama – moving countries, moving in together, moving cities, taking jobs in different cities from each other to do work we both really wanted to do. And we know this is it. He’s my best friend in the whole world – he’s my family – I can always trust him, and that’s been hard for me to learn.

And I know not to expect a traditional proposal from him, since we’ve agreed to spend the rest of our lives together already (even though a tiny bit of my girly heart sort of wants a romantic re-proposal, and the rest of my independent, egalitarian, feminist self hates that!) So last night I thought, well, what about it? I could make the romantic proposal thing happen – I could do it! Instead of the usual ‘will you marry me’ though (because I know he will, sometime) it would be a proposal to start actively planning a wedding (and maybe calling ourselves engaged, because we haven’t done that).

But there are a few things to consider. In my head, I was sort of waiting until we both got jobs in the same city before getting married (we’re both academics in the same-ish field and live in a small country which doesn’t have a lot of universities). And then I thought, well, that might never happen. Or maybe it might happen sooner if we did get married – either way, no point in waiting for it. So then, it became about waiting until we both got more permanent jobs before getting married – because we’d feel more secure, and we’d have the funds to throw a good party, and also in a permanent contract there’s more room to negotiate working from home etc, which we’d do so we could live together. And a few weeks ago, I landed a high-profile job in my university, which will probably be made permanent.

He, however, is finishing up a one-year contract in a different university, and has an interview this week for a permanent job in a university in another country. He’s not sure if he wants to take it if he gets offered it, because a 3 year contract is coming up (which he’d have to fight for, and might not get) in the university he works in now, and he’d prefer to stay here (he’s a bit of a homebird and also feels his work is taken more seriously here). So if I propose starting to plan a wedding, and he doesn’t want to, because of the uncertainty about his job, will I have ruined my chance of making this ‘proposal’? He might feel like he’s disappointed me by asking to wait, so should I just wait now until things are more certain for him?

The thing that’s kind of lit a fire under me about this is that we’re going to Paris next weekend – a sort of slightly belated 7 year anniversary present to ourselves (we were a bit too frazzled with work stuff when the actual anniversary did arrive, and it’s a bit of a fiction anyway since there was a very blurred line between friendship and relationship which we danced for a while). Though the location might sound corny, we both love France in general and Paris in particular (the holy trinity of wine, cheese and raspberry tarts) and this trip is going to be a much-needed holiday for both of us, so it might be a good time to broach the subject, when we’re relaxed and can consider things calmly. I was even thinking about asking him in Les Deux Magots where Joyce, Hemingway, Sartre and de Beauvoir used to hang out (maybe a bit cheesy, but I’m not sure I care). Today, I bought a very lovely but simple watch which I’m thinking of giving him when I ask as a symbol of the gesture, but might just give it to him either way, as an anniversary present.

So do you think I should do it? In Paris, kitsch, and all? Or should I wait until things are more certain (career-wise) for us? Part of me thinks that if he gets offered the new job while/before we’re in Paris, then I’d definitely ask, because a) I’d like to remind him that I’m in this for the long haul, even if we’re living in different countries (again) for a while, and b) if he takes the job, that might be the security he needs to say yes to starting to plan a life together, even if it’s not his first choice of job location. But then, if he does get offered it while/before we’re in Paris, and hasn’t made up his mind, am I just throwing another decision at him, which might complicate his decision about the job? I might be over-thinking it. Your sane, snappy advice is always appreciated (sorry for the super-long email).

Nervously Excited in Europe

*****

Do it.

Duh.

(WE ARE EXPERIENCED by Danielle Levitt via Charles Hall via Fucking Young!)

Men's Tea Party

These dudes are from Brooklyn (obv). But the fingerless gloves and the brown bread and the little tin of sardines remind me of my Da, who lives up on the West Coast of Canada.

This is pretty what my dad's lunch looks like every day. Maybe minus the cakes. Definitely minus the rabbit-fur cosy.

Anyhoo. I can't wait to get up there and have tea with him.*

Photos by Susanna Howe for the NY Times (via Scout Holiday via justlikehoney)

______________________________

*You guys, I might be getting a teensy bit of Christmas fever. Is it too soon? I mean, I'm not DECORATING THE HOUSE or anything.

In Which Catbird Presents a selection of Baubles for Famous Lovers

Salvador Dali & Federico Garcia Lorca
Did they? Didn't they? Let the tongues wag. For Federico, a necklace vaguely in the form of Salvador's moustache, and for Salvador, a ruby ring in honor of Garcia Lorca's Blood Wedding.

Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton
Far be it for us to suggest a bauble for Mrs. White Diamonds herself. Rather, the decanter set from Love & Victory, makes for neat drinking, and easy glass hurling.

Clara Rockmore & Léon Theremin
Léon's muse, and unrequited love, played his namesake instrument, with grace, drama, and a perfect chignon of pitch black hair. Of making otherworldy music rise from a brass box outfitted with a rod and a ring she said, “You have to play with butterfly wings."
Bittersweets Black Diamond Twig Ring

Frida Kahlo & Diego Rivera
Love is true, love is trouble. She was pint-sized, he was not.  She was a painter, he was a painter. He loved ladies, she loved ladies. Twice-married, they brawled, battled, left and came together again in a blue house in Coyoacán.
Elisa Solomon Ombre Ring

Bob Dylan & Suze Rotolo
You sweethearts! You young romantics! You read Rimbaud in the park, and rambled round the streets of Greenwich village. The world was your oyster.
Carla Caruso Willow Ring

DEAR ESB: BWAHA! We did it!

Those of you following the comments on yesterday's post already know that Nichole's soon-to-be-husband, who was hell-bent having a traditional wedding, swept her off to get married in New Orleans last weekend. As in, before we all tore our hair out offering her advice.

OMG. OMG. OMG. I love you all, and your crazy, serious, cautious, and blatant comments! I went home after writing this email to ESB and guess what? The man said to me, point blank, let's go to New Orleans and get married. Tonight.

We booked the tickets, our best friends tickets, our parent's tickets, and had an elopement party in New Orleans this weekend. We walked the "Second Line" down Bourbon Street, stopped for a Hurricane at Pat O'Brien's and bought our wedding bands at a consignment shop. We are marrrrrrrrrrrrried. And we both loved it. And I didn't have to talk him into it. I didn't even bring it up. He did. And it's amazing. And we're happy. And everyone (except my sister) is super happy for us!

That, my friends, is what I call "punk rock and practical."

Here's more from Nichole: 

I thought you might want a picture of us at our reception dinner with 15 of our closest friends. I got the mustache from a 40th birthday party that was being celebrated a couple of tables away. The birthday party table and our table sang with each other the whole night. Everything from The Beatles, "Here comes the sun" to Sir Mix A lot's "Baby Got Back".

Needless to say, he's over the moon that we eloped, and so am I :)

it is that time of year again, people

Got out of the hot hot car yesterday, tore off my t-shirt + bra and put on my old fave vintage OP tank. (Okayyyyyyyeee, H-town's old fave vintage OP tank. But he looks way too hipster in it. I mean, he already has a mustache. The man is not allowed out of the house in tank tops, for fuck's sake.)

To be fair, I am not allowed out of the house without a bra. BUT MAN, is it hot. I wish the weather in LA would just freeze-frame in April. 78 is already more than I can handle.

Spanish Moss Vintage via auburn & ivory

On BLOGSLANG

Mkay. You guys may be aware that I'm b o r e d with phrases like "my dears," "eye candy," and "pop of color" (godhelpus) that get repeated ad nauseum all over the place.* I understand how it happens. We read a lot of the same blogs.** We repost photos. Why not recycle phrases too? Because. Make up your own.

On the other hand... There are a bunch of weird little words that I use. Where did I get them? Am I stealing them? For example, BWAHA, my new favorite twitter response to something funny. Where the f* did that come from?

I love obv. (Obv.) Pretty sure I started that one after I heard Episode 153 of Uhh Yeah Dude. (Download here, and skip ahead to 49:17 if you must.)

And then there's "lub," which is spreading like wildfire. But that one's Amanda's, just so you know.

Image via Yimmy's Yayo

*I suspect we can blame Joanna for starting the "my dears" trend. But Garance is not helping things any.

**Let's face it, we all read A CUP OF JO.

F* the First Look photos

Your wedding photographer will probably try to convince you to do two hours+ of portraits before the ceremony. He wants you to be able to go straight to the reception after the ceremony, but he also wants to capture the first moment you see each other in your wedding garb without any pesky wedding guests in the way. What you get is those incredibly stagy "first look" photos, where the bride and groom just end up looking like they're posing.

Come on. You're nervous. You're about to get married. And then you're supposed to turn and look at each other and be all lovestruck and amazed while pretending there's not a camera pointing at you?

You're robbing yourself of the (trust me) incredible moment of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. Or the arch or the stump or whatever. And you're robbing your guests of the joy of seeing you see each other for the first time.

For fuck's sake, please just take a little time to do portraits after the ceremony. They'll come out much better because you will be SMILING YOUR ASS OFF. You'll barely notice the camera. (Trust me.)

I have to give V, a non-engaged, non-blogger friend, some credit for inspiring this post. She went on a rant about first look photos at thanksgiving.

Image courtesy of My Parents Were Awesome

pop-up wedding inspiration

You have to check out today's inspiration board on snippet & ink.

a) I do love the pop-up wedding concept, even if I disapprove of a groom in a tuxedo t-shirt. (Did I say that already?)
b) The mustache. The real live mustache that is attached to his face.
plus
c) I love a single blossom in a jar. Obv.
d) I was just thinking about leather clutches. More on that later.
and
#5 It's a gluten-free wedding! Macarons are gluten-free!

I'm pretty sure she did the board just for me.

(Photo courtesy of Grand Opening Gallery via New York Magazine)

the real LA: dire wolf skulls, petrichor antlers and the Kibitz Room

Cevd and I took Monday off to do some touristy/fabulous LA things. We packed an outdated copy of LA Bizarro, but I must say we did pretty well on our own.

After a trip to Pink's for lunch, we spent a good part of the afternoon at the La Brea Tar Pits and the Page Museum, where they have the most amazing collection of dire wolf skulls. We also quite enjoyed the display of eagle toe bones.

And then purely by accident, we parked in front of Cavern. (Yes, on our way to the Hollywood Walk of Fame, got a problem with that?) We went in, obv, and can attest that these antlery feathery items are even sexier in person. Srsly.

Petrichor antler*/wood/chain necklace handmade in Los Angeles by Molly Steele.

Cavern Collection handmade seed bead & dip-dyed feather necklace.

This piece is gone but I couldn't resist posting it. (Yes, partly because the model is rocking a mustache. We've gone too long without a good mustache.)

I've subscribed to the Cavern blog so I can obsess about new pieces as they come in. And I had a lovely chat with Adam, one of the store's proprietors. I think I freaked him out a little when I referenced Keith Richards and his bone earring circa Gimme Shelter (freaked him out as in, man this "blogger" lady is old). But anyhoo. ADAM WAS WEARING A BONE AROUND HIS NECK. Or an antler, or whatever. It seemed relevant.

There was dinner and blah blah blah. But obviously cevd, H-town and I closed the night at Canter's Kibitz Room. We may not have see Slash, but we did see some true Hollywood rockers. And man did I wish I was wearing an antler.

*I believe this means the antler has been shed. Ie. the beast was not killed to give us this necklace. But I don't have a lot to go on here.

Okay, I'm closing the comments on this one. For some reason the spammers won't leave it alone. (?!)

courthouse polaroids

Speaking of unpretentious wedding photos.... I love these.

Read about Stacy and TJ's wedding, the party, and why they got married on la boudoir. Happy one-year anniversary, lady!

Groom Style: the light suit

I am generally not a fan of light suits. I am definitely not a fan of the chino version from J. Crew, ever popular for hot-weather weddings.

But these two are slammin.*

(Photos by The Sartorialist via A CUP OF JO; Tec Petaja via Once Wed)

*And Mick, of course, knocks it out of the park.

Groom Style: Rock Star

I love the wild-west-meets-the-seventies look. These boys are rocking the vest.

I'm also a sucker for good facial hair. Don't shave your beard (or your mustache, please!) for the wedding, whatever you do. Be yourself. And look like yourself in the pictures.

The Killers found here.

This real-life groom also happens to be in a band. It shows in his f-it-I'll-wear-what-I-want attitude. We could all use a little more of that.

(Doc Martens are meant to be worn with tube socks, after all. Wedding or no wedding.)

Photo by Laura Burlton.

oh yeah

Not only has Max Wastler got style, he's got a blog called all plaidout. I'm gonna be all over that sh*t for groom style.

Do you think Max wears a little something plaid every day, y'know, just in case Porter Hovey happens to be around with her polaroid?

the Meghan Kinney dress I didn't wear

Nicole of Nicole and Jess emailed me to ask for more details about why I didn't wear my Meg wedding dress:

I just realized you posted about Meg Kinney of Meg. I live outside of Toronto and bought my highschool graduating prom dress from her store. I still adore it!

I've been in contact with her about custom bridal/bridesmaid dresses. How was your experience?? What made you decide not to wear her *wedding* dress for you?

This post wasn't enough? You've got to bring back all the old guilty feelings??

Just kidding.

I love Meg. She designed most of the dresses hanging in my closet. (And her fall/winter 2008 lookbook is all about the mustache, so there's some synergy here.)

I was at Meg shopping for a MOH dress when I found the wedding dress by accident. It was an $80 sample, floor-length white strapless eyelet lined in bubblegum pink, pretty fabulous for eloping to Vegas or somewhere, which was what I thought we might do. (Our engagement was a secret to everyone but my best friend at the time.) BUT, once I started planning a semi-bohemian farm/forest wedding at my dad's house on the west coast of Canada, strapless eyelet just didn't make sense anymore.

Here is a big piece of advice for everyone: don't buy your dress until you book the venue. I don't care how on sale it is. Or how much you think you know what you want. Vegas country club doesn't work in the forest. Feathery flapper will look ridiculous in a chapel. I would love to see you wear a ball gown to city hall, though. (Vintage suit for a city hall wedding? Yawn.)

Anyhoo, I would recommend Meg without hesitation for bridesmaids' dresses, and for wedding dresses with a modern feel. Her prices range from $220-400 for custom, and you can walk in and ask them to make any dress in the store in white.

Have you met her in person? The lady rocks.

Speaking of mustaches....

(And no, I will never shut up about them.) Did you see Milk?

First, the movie is fantastic. I'll just get that out of the way.

Second, hello James Franco. Why didn't I ever notice you before? Oh, because you didn't have a mustache.

(The New York Times also appreciates THE 'MILK' MUSTACHE)

wait, facial hair indicates bad economy?

According to the WSJ, newly unemployed corporate types are busting out (inspired, of course, by the hipsters). Via the Cut.

p.s. Grunge is back.

(Images courtesy of The Sartorialist)