HAIR WOES

Dear Eastsidebride,

I had been feeling quite smug and delighted with myself as wedding planning so far has been breezy but have come across a major stumbling block that I need your help with!!

Am wearing this dress by Elizabeth Dye in four weeks to my wedding. Fell in love with it instantly and as I'm a ballet dancer it just seemed like kismet that it was named Giselle. Shoes, rings, honeymoons, menus and even guest lists haven't been a problem but am recently starting to feel like the hair issue may get the better of me.

I have always had quite bold hair that just won't do what it's told. It's long and blonde-ish and resembles a lions mane and not in a cool way. It's pretty much the bane of my life! at work I leave it down, shove it up in a bun and generally ignore it but it's only starting to dawn on me now that I should figure out what the hell to do with it soon as there will be photos (ugh) and people looking at me (double ugh). My mom insists that I have to wear it up because otherwise it will ruin the line of the dress or some such nonsense. I do take her point though that I don't want to be at it all day trying to tame it. Basically I just want to know what to do with it so that I can tick it off my damn list and not have to think I have wonky hair on the day!

Things to consider

-not a fan of flowers/buns/hairbands on the side of the head. the lack of symmetry makes me feel lop-sided and a little disturbed.

-I have a fear of hairdressers so nothing too drastic (I know I know I did threaten to shave it!)

Please help me so that I can go back to feeling smug and practicing drinking champagne!

*****

Would you PRETTY PLEASE wear a big sexy ballerina bun on top of your head?

Martha Stewart endorsed the look months ago (and then of course what's-her-name tried to rock it on Project Runway) but I haven't seen a real bride knock it out of the park.

p.s. duh.

Confetti System + Martha Stewart = too much of a good thing?

You tell me.

Please note: They skipped the best part. WTF?

(Via 100 Layer Cake)

DIY side chignon

I never bother going over to Martha Stewart Weddings anymore, so I have to thank hip hip gin gin and {this is glamorous} for spotting this DIY side chignon.

Glamorous put together a lovely, streamlined version of the instructions so you don't have to click... click... click... click... while juggling your hairbrush, hairdryer, curling iron, hairspray, etc.

My sister is a WEDDING BASHER

Dear ESB,

I'm in need of a bit of help. And the people I usually turn to are, in fact, part of the current problem.

You see, I got engaged many months ago, and am now about 6 months out from the wedding. When it came time to decide if I was going to have bridesmaids, the answer was an automatic YES, and I asked my wonderful sisters, as well as a dear friend. Shortly after I got engaged, one of my sisters also became engaged, and her wedding date was a few months before mine. I was thrilled for her! I was excitedly looking forward to planning together, and bouncing ideas off of each other, as both of our weddings will have some traditional and many non-traditional aspects.

However, it has been anything but. She has been bashing all of my ideas from my shoes, to my guest list, to my choices in general! She yelled at me when I mentioned a signature drink to cut down on liquor costs, saying it was her idea and I stole it from her. She made fun of me when I mentioned that my fiance's nephew would be our ring bearer, saying ring bearer's are tacky, and in turn, make a wedding look tacky. And she's been criticizing my decision about having non-matching bridesmaids. There have been more, but we'll just stop at 3 examples.

First, I'm pretty sure she does not own the rights to having a signature drink at weddings. I'm also pretty sure she wasn't the first one to come up with the idea. Second, I'm not the biggest fans of children in weddings either. Mainly because it is sad to see a poor kid stuffed into a tiny tux carrying a satin pillow. My fiance really wanted his nephew to be apart of the wedding, as it was very important to him. It's his wedding too. But we BOTH want the nephew to be comfortable, and, basically, just run down the aisle before I go. No tuxes, no satin pillow. And finally, I wanted my bridesmaids to like what they are going to wear on the day of the wedding. I did say it should be a dress from J Crew in any shade of blue; I thought it was the best of both worlds. I get bridesmaids in great little blue dresses, and they get to pick what style and shade best suits them. But it wasn't good enough for her, and she promptly decided to tell me non-matching bridesmaids will look silly, and I should force everyone to wear the same thing.

On top of all of this, she bashes all other weddings (including mine), and says all weddings are stupid and tacky. Except hers. Because hers is the most special of special. Not only that, but she's wrangling in my other sister (who loves everything and anything about weddings), to go along with her opinions.

Now, I don't want to kick her out as a bridesmaid; I chose her for a reason. I love my sisters very much, and I value their opinions. But what I don't like is being told my wedding ideas/plans are silly and tacky, and I should do BLAH instead. I decided not to tell her anymore plans/ideas because I'm sick and tired of being made to feel my wedding sucks.

She is constantly berating me about wedding plans, even if I don't tell her anything. What should I do?
 


Many thanks,

- bummed-out bride

*****

Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure Martha Stewart coined the phrase "signature drink" in 1987.

Here's the thing. Almost every bride is seized with the bizarre conviction that the way she is doing it/did it is the right way/only way to do it. It's like there's some piece that snaps loose in their brains.

Try stroking your sister's ego. Tell her how much you loooooooooooove the stupid dress she picked out for all of you to wear. How cool you think her dumb wedding's going to be. Etc.

But don't FOR AN INSTANT feel like you have to justify any of your choices.

(Photo of Audrey Tautou via Anj Ali)

I heart Martha

Just so we're clear.

90% of the super rad DIY wedding ideas you found on some indie wedding blog originally came from Martha Stewart. You know that, right?

I mean, who do you think brought the goddamn mason jar out of the realm of moonshine and into the realm of the "signature cocktail"?

In other words: DON'T EVER QUOTE MISS MANNERS AT ME AGAIN. THX.

on engagement party etiquette and telling Bridezilla to STFU

Dear ESB,

One of my best girlfriends got roped into being a bridesmaid for a "friend" of ours from college. Let's be honest - they aren't that great of friends, but what could she do? Anyways Bridezilla is the definition of tactless. The wedding is 15 months away - and they've already been engaged for the last 6 months. so a 21 month engagement, yet they act as if the wedding is next month - meaning endless facebook updates, tweets, and TWO blogs outlining every detail of the whole affair - down to the budget. Mind you these two are only 23 yrs old, fresh out of college, and have no reason to rush down the aisle besides wanting to be the first to do so. They already live together, so it's not a religious or family issue.

Anyways, despite already having 2 engagement parties planned she wants the bridesmaids to throw a third engagement party in NYC - where we all went to college. However, the couple isn't inviting any college friends to the wedding due to their meager budget, yet they want them at this engagement party. How can my friend, the bridesmaid, tell Bridezilla that 1) it isn't appropriate to invite friends to the engagement party and leave them off the wedding guest list and 2) to stop with the online on-slaught of personal info regarding the wedding?

I'd love to just tell her to just STFU but it's not really my place. Am I the only person who cares about etiquette anymore?

FedUpinNYC

*****

Dear FUNYC,

You're not the only person who cares about etiquette. But you need to join the 21st century.

According to Martha Stewart, the traditional rules of etiquette, which used to dictate that all the guests invited to the engagement party be invited to the wedding, no longer apply. Martha says "because so many people have very small weddings or hold their ceremonies far from friends and sometimes even from family, the engagement party often includes people who may not be invited to the eventual wedding."

Stop hating on the poor couple because they have a tiny budget! By throwing this third engagement party, they're actually trying to include their friends who aren't invited to the wedding. (Though I do think it's tacky to ask the bridesmaids to throw the party. Why doesn't Bridezilla throw her own damn third engagement party?)

Which brings me to: The Online Onslaught. Is it really your friend the bridesmaid who is so bothered by the barrage of information, or is it you?

Why don't you just unfollow Bridezilla on Twitter? (I do it ALL. THE. TIME.) And "unfriend" her, or whatever the Facebook lingo is. Nobody is forcing you to read her updates.

(Photo by Andrea Spotorno for Ten Magazine via Vain and Vapid)

personality test FAIL

Ilovejezebel inspired me to take this test, and now I'm really pissed off about the results.

I may be a Guardian in that I'm trying to shepherd some of you through the wedding-planning process, but I'm no Mother Teresa. (Or Martha Stewart.) I'm an Artist, GODDAMMIT.

Hey Keirsey, you try and finish a screenplay without setting some motherfucking deadlines. Go ahead.

(Photo by unpiano via  me melodia.)

admitting that wedding blogs are the new wedding mags

Modern Bride, Elegant Bride and Homogeneous Bride* have folded. And even Martha Stewart seems to be phoning it in lately. I mean... Fabric-inspired wedding cakes? Rly?

But, um, some of the wedding blogs have been kicking ass lately. Much as I have ranted about wedding photo shoots in the past, and much as I still believe that real wedding photos are better than the fakes, I have to admit there's a place for editorial when it's not advertorial.

This Once Wed feature inspired by Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz with photography by Charley Star, Event Design/Styling by Bash Eco Events, and Flowers + Event Design/Styling by Yes Please Design is truly magazine worthy. Or should I say more than magazine worthy?

(See more here and here and the inspiration board here.)

*Oop! My bad. That one is still going.

F* etiquette

When we first launched into wedding planning, I spent too much time on Martha Stewart Weddings. I admit it. I was at sea and I got some great practical advice, but at a certain point H-town informed me that the words "Martha says" were banned from the bungalow.

But I continued to harp. And I put a big fat foot in my mouth on more than one occasion.

Martha says the invites should go out eight weeks before the wedding. Great. And Martha says tradition dictates that you put up your bridal party. (Which we can't afford to do! So why the f* would I bring that up with a member of my bridal party?!)

And most recently, when my mom told me how much she loved our invite wording, which reads "together with our parents," I burst her bubble and said, "it's proper etiquette, when you're helping us pay for the wedding." I should have just said, "I'm so glad!"

I bet Emily Post would never have uttered the word "etiquette" aloud. My advice is, read it then f*cking let it go.

Sorry, mom.

(Image courtesy of idahostudios)

Eco-Chic Wedding Toss

I love the eco-chic idea of a birdseed toss. Martha Stewart packages it here in little glassine bags sealed with stickers.


I also like Martha's fabric bags decorated with rubber stamps and filled with paper confetti. You could easily make them eco-friendly with recycled fabric and paper. (The perfect re-use for all those DIY invitations that came out crooked...)

(Images courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings)

Woodsie Goodness from Bell'occhio

Singing Bluebirds, Woodsie Cake Stand originally created for Martha Stewart Weddings, and Twig Tapers (currently sold out, dammit) all from Bell'occhio.

Cupcakes Are So Over, People

Have been since Carrie Bradshaw stepped into Magnolia Bakery. (I love 'em too, but come on.)

Ice Cream Sandwiches by Ciao Bella Gelato on The Nibble. Coffee Creme Brulee and Coconut Souffle courtesy of Martha Stewart.