Bario-Neal opens a showroom in NYC!!! (Sponsored by, erm, Bario-Neal)

Hello, internet. Hello, world! Helloooooo, New York City....

We are Bario-Neal Jewelry and we are excited to announce the opening of our New York City showroom in lower manhattan. 

Bario-Neal is committed to environmental responsibility, ethical sourcing, and marriage equality. Our work is handmade in Philly with recycled metals and responsibly-sourced gemstones. We are also happy to work with your heirloom stones or recycle your precious metals in our bands. 

The new location offers our custom design services and showcases Bario-Neal’s collections. It’s important for us to be able to work with our customers on a personal level as they search for the right wedding band, engagement ring, or special pair of earrings. With our new space, we look forward to being able to better serve (& get to know) our New York-based customers.

The showroom is only by appointment, but we are having an opening party! Stop by and check it out November 7th from 5-8pm, at 195 Chrystie St., #900A.

Editor's Note: Anna and Page sent me a whole bunch of images to choose from for this post. Rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets (yes, they make all those things, too!).

But it's the RINGS RINGS RINGS RINGS RINGS RINGS RINGS that blow me away every time -- both Bario-Neal's custom work (custom designs begin at $500, see three examples pictured at top) and the engagement rings + bands from their current collection (rings pictured are priced between $255-4400).

Lowe House Creative Comes to LA! (Sponsored Post)

Elizabeth of Lowe House Creative is back on ESB with some very excellent news for LA brides (and LA vendors!): She's expanding her business.

I'm a sixth generation Northern Californian, but I have always loved Los Angeles, and I'd always had this thought in the back of my mind that when it came time to expand my business beyond the Bay Area, LA would be the place. And that thought kept nagging and nagging, and I was slowly doing research, and dragging my feet in an I'm-already-too-busy kind of way, and then this summer my best friend told me he was moving down there. It was the sign I needed to just do this shit. So, hey LA! I'm so excited to spend more time in you. 

I've written here before about why the f*ck you need a wedding planner/coordinator, but now I want to talk about why you specifically need a Lowe House planner/coordinator.

My team and I care a ton about our clients, and we project manage the shit out of their weddings. Yep. If you ask me, I'm a project manager, and my projects just happen to be weddings. But my clients are always the most important thing. Always. Ultimately, I'm not invested in whether or not your wedding is blog-worthy, or whether or not I like your colors or your bridesmaids' dresses or your choice of centerpieces (though my background is in fine art & interior design, and I would loooove to pore over paint swatches and flatware patterns and floral samples with you if you're into that). What I am invested in is simple: that my couples are happy with their weddings, and that they are able to enjoy their weddings, because they know I'm on top of shit, and I always have their backs, and I am going to make sure that the day unfolds just the way they imagined it would. 

It may also be worth mentioning that we're not the right planners/coordinators for every client. I define my style as "extremely casual and highly professional." I favor loud nail polish, I tend to swear more than I should, and while I have actually mastered the French Twist, the majority of the the time my hair is down. But my timelines make other vendors weep with joy, I have a knack for spotting most problems before they happen, and I am totally unflappable in the face of the world's most overbearing mothers. I have amazing relationships with the other vendors I work with because of all of these things -- they know I'm going to be super on top of stuff, which makes their lives infinitely easier, and also I'm fun to hang out with. Referrals from other vendors are my largest source of new clients, which is apparently not common in this business. That said, I will not hesitate to go to bat for my clients if necessary, no matter who the vendor is or how much business they've sent me before (this is the main reason I have a strict no-kickback policy -- it has to be clear at all times that my clients are my #1 priority).

I got a thank you note from a client last week that actually made me cry (and I'm not a crier). I won't bore you with the whole thing, but it began: "We cannot imagine our wedding without you. We hired a reputable wedding planner/coordinator/guru, and ended up with the raddest wedding planner/coordinator/guru and friend." And that, right there, is exactly why I do this. I work like a crazy person most of the year, but when, at the end of a 14-hour day, my clients, their parents, and their friends come up to me and hug me and thank me for making the day great? That's my kind of high. 

So! If you're an LA-based wedding vendor (or venue owner, or just generally rad person) please get in touch -- I'd love to buy you coffee, or a drink, and chat about the city and the crazy, awesome world of weddings. I'm working actively on expanding my vendor list down there, and always looking for more people I can feel good about recommending.

And if you're an LA-based potential client? Definitely get in touch. We're starting to get booked up for 2014, but I've been saving some slots specifically for LA clients, so grab them before they're gone! I'll be down there every 4-6 weeks for the next little while, because I always prefer to meet people over tables instead of internet connections. 

I'm so excited to see what kind of radness I can cook up with clients in Los Angeles. I'm excited about new venues, that gorgeous, smog-filtered LA light, and the fact that I will finally be able to suggest the In-N-Out truck for late night food (why oh why can't get we get the trucks up here!). I know LA and I are going to have some fun together. 

Why the F* does it cost so much?? DJ edition! (Sponsored by Dart DJ)

We didn't hire a DJ for our wedding. We sort of recruited the best man (bad idea) to help with the music, but he was too busy doing best man things (I.E. having fun at the damn wedding) to pay much attention to the music.

Was the party still amazing? 

Yes.

Do I wish I hadn't spent 45 minutes fucking with the iTunes playlist in the middle of the reception? 

Yes.

If I had it to do over again, would I scrape up the money to hire a REAL DJ? 

Yeah, I might.

Here's Jesse from Dart DJ to tell you why the good ones cost so f*@%ing much:

My partner Michael and I started Dart with the goal of shaking up the typically safe (read: boring) world of wedding DJ's with our unique sound and style. We believe that creativity is essential, from the custom gear we use to the personal mixes, edits and playlists we make for our couples.

Much like our friend Beth at Whoa Nelly Catering, as DJ’s we are often asked, "Why the f* does it cost so much?"

Before we get into the nuts and bolts of why hiring a DJ—and specifically a good DJ—is expensive, we should start by saying that talent and reputation will always be the main factor when it comes to DJ pricing. You pay for what you get and if it's important to you that your wedding DJ is talented, engaging and professional, the price point will always be higher. While Dart itself is a relatively new company, both Michael and I have been making people dance for years at events, clubs and festivals around the world. We are always digging through vinyl looking for those timeless tracks that avoid cliche but are universal in their appeal. This process is something we love to do and a key part of what separates us from a DJ who downloads top 40 playlists and rehashes what Ryan Seacrest is playing on KIIS FM that morning. 

With that said, spend five minutes on Craigslist and you will find DJ’s who are way cheaper than us (charging anywhere from $400-$800). AVOID THESE DJ’s. After you see the amount of gear, time and energy that goes into each event we do, I hope you will see why these price points put you at risk of hiring someone flaky and unreliable for your wedding.

Taste

As I noted above, no amount of gear, cabling or time will ever perfectly explain the cost of a DJ (don’t hate us for it). The reality is that music is a crucial part of your wedding and to keep people dancing and keep their interest, we need to always be reading the crowd and making adjustments. People who are charging $400 are simply not doing this for a living. They may be selling life insurance during the week and trying to make a few extra bucks on the weekend—which is totally cool—but when it comes to really knowing your library of music and being able to make quick adjustments in a tasteful and stylish way, we feel that this is where devoting your full time and energy to the craft pays off. A few months ago, I came in contact with a wedding DJ to remain nameless. He told me he plays more or less the same songs at every wedding, explaining that these songs “work” and why mess with a good thing. Maybe you're cool settling for "good" (really, "OK" is probably more accurate), but Michael and I simply don't believe in that kind of platitude. You don't have to trade taste for dancing - you just have to work a little harder to find well produced songs that connect with people in a universal way. And that's what we're all about.

Gear

(Note: This gets really boring really fast, so feel free to skim!) Owning and maintaining top quality gear is not a cheap endeavor. Michael and I obsess over the gear and aesthetics of our company and we think that pays off both musically and visually on your wedding day. Our custom wood console, 900 mixer, technics turntables, mics, subs and brand new JBLs are expensive and would probably be in the $500-$750 range just for you to rent from a rental company on your wedding day. With that said, the truly hidden cost for DJs and gear is the cabling. Reliable cables are REALLY expensive and we need a lot of them! In addition, we need back ups of everything so that if something shorts out on the day we can quickly and seamlessly swap it out. We've thought through little details like that precisely so you never notice them and keep having a great day instead. 

Time and Prep

While rates are often negotiated based on how many hours you need us to actually DJ, the reality is that any wedding is going to take up our entire day and night. A short day will be around 10-12 hours while others, particularly with travel, can stretch to 19 hours (We actually did a 19-hour day last weekend!). While some of that has to do with our attention to detail (we typically set up 2-3 hrs before anyone arrives to make sure everything works perfectly), the reality is that DJing a wedding is much more involved than DJing a club. You can't just plug in your computer, play for two hours, and then leave. Then again, most people are assholes in clubs, slip you $20s to play shit songs you hate and/or spill their Red Bull vodkas on your backpack in the process. So ultimately you can see why we're much more interested in the more exacting, but more rewarding business of making you, your friends and family boogie down. 

DJs are often stereotyped as being lazy, apathetic, overpaid stoner kids. After DJing all over the world and for a long time in Los Angeles, I can tell you that this is pretty true! It’s true because switching between two songs is super easy if that is the height of your ambition for an event. The exceptions to this rule are the DJs who are talented mixers, that love what they do, and who want to push an event to engaging and exciting levels. Inevitably these are the people you want at your event and the ones who will command higher prices. 

A final tip for couples who are on a very tight budget: ask a friend (not a close friend) with solid DJ experience to DJ your wedding either as a favor or at a friend rate. That way you have at least seen the person spin and have an idea of what they will bring to the event. If you do not have a friend or a friend of a friend who is a good DJ, you may have to step up your budget and give us a call! We're pretty nice. 

[Editor's Note: If there is *no room* in your budget for a DJ, no way no how, Dart DJ has some pretty good mixes for the swiping. Don't tell Jesse I told you.]

Do we need a Wedding Photographer? (Sponsored by Calin + Bisous)

Several brides have emailed me in the past few months to ask "Do we need a Wedding Photographer?" "Can't we just ask our friends to send us their photos?" "We don't feel the need to capture thousands of perfectly styled images of our wedding…" etc.

Here's Callie from Calin + Bisous to answer that very question….

You do not *need* a wedding photographer. You want one! And it's okay! And here's why.

1. Your wedding is a big deal. Your wedding photos are a big deal, too. And we are professional photo takers. Unlike your arty photographer friend from college, who will wander off during the first dance to take pictures of the catering truck, or the fashionista friend with the really great 35mm camera who will run out of film in the middle of the ceremony.... we are on top of our game for 8 hours straight.

2. Our job is to make you look fantastical in your photos. We like to run around and fix your hair and adjust your bridesmaids' boobs (if necessary). And we always tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth. We learn where you need to be and when, and we calmly get you there because we care that you're not flipped out and crazy lookin. Like I said, we want you to look really good in the photos.

3. We are crowd pleasers. We are day-of planners that you didn't ask for. We are your very own fairy godmothers. We usher you and your new spouse away when that receiving line you didn't plan on starts forming. Our camera bags double as bouquet and clutch holders. Your step-uncle once removed, who took one photography class in college, 37 years ago, brought a flask of whiskey to your all-local-craft-beer wedding and he's chatty? I got this. Go be at your wedding.

4. I can't speak for other wedding photographers, but I care deeply that people are happy whenever they're around me. (Happy people make for better photos.) The more I am running around getting shots, helping out, keep the massive cluster-!@&$ of family photos moving along, the more delighted I am.

This last one's just from me.

5. Everyone should be able to afford the photography they want, wherever they are, without hidden fees or scary terms or such bare-bones "basic" packages that you have to include all the extras to make them work.

I offer an all-inclusive rate of $4,000 for 8 hours of wedding photography anywhere in the continental US.

And I'd really like to shoot your wedding!

xoxo,
Callie

(Photos by Calin + Bisous. Obviously.)

Why do I need an effing MAKEUP ARTIST? (Sponsored by Joy Does Weddings)

So……

Joy Fennell of Joy Does Weddings wrote a long post for you guys about why it's a bad idea to let your 16-year-old cousin do your wedding makeup (DUH), and why makeup for photos is different from everyday makeup, and why it is so worth it to hire a professional (who shows up with her own bucket of products) and not have to worry about that shit on the day…..

And there was a good bit about the Makeup Artist's Wedding Oath, which Joy takes very seriously: "Thou shalt not allow the bride to walk around looking like a hot mess."

But I think we should just let her work speak for itself.

I mean. Right??

I flew a hair/makeup artist across the country for my wedding, and it was -- I'm not kidding you -- some of the best money I've ever spent.

Joy is based in NYC, and she comes personally recommended by that rad lady who did my wedding makeup. Joy Does Weddings provides makeup services for brides, bridal parties, engagement parties and destination weddings. She will make you look AH-MAZING!

Why Should I Bother With A Wedding Video?? An Incredibly Earnest Case For The Videographer (Sponsored by Love + Brain)

As you may have noticed, I never post wedding videos on the ol blog. I mean, who the eff wants to watch someone else's wedding video??

But Courtney of Love + Brain makes a compelling argument for why you should bother with a wedding video for YOU. (In fact, she actually makes me want to edit the footage from our wedding that I still haven't seen...)

Here she is....

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth? As you struggle to cough up the funds for a “must have” wedding photographer, it’s hard to imagine shelling out even more cash for a wedding videographer.

Hi, my name is Courtney Arcese, and I'm 1/2 of Love + Brain Films, an indie wedding videography team based in Brooklyn, New York. I’ve been there. And I get it. As a former bride-to-be, I understand how stressful it can be to wrestle with a wedding budget. The following are, I hope, a few good reasons to consider saying, “hell yes!” to videography on your big day.

Style

Indie and intimate? Glamorous and cinematic? Whatever you and your groom’s wedding style is, there is a videographer or videography team perfect for your special day. There may be a lot more wedding photographers than there are videographers out there, but the diversity within videography is impressive. Check out an awesome wedding blog, 100 Layer Cake (full disclosure: I’m a vendor on their site!), which is an incredible resource to see film styles from Super 8 to HD movie productions.

Technology

Photographers capture singular moments, but videographers are able to capture the memories within the movement. Using wireless mics and videocameras with interchangeable lenses, we can document your wedding day and create beautiful films that are on par (or..... almost on par) with blockbuster movies. Videography allows you to watch and re-watch yourself and your partner recite your vows, hear and re-hear the words from your maid-of-honor’s speech, and scrutinize your first dance (moves that you practiced for six months after you bought ballroom dance lessons on Groupon).

The Future (and for your unborn children, of course)

Have you seen your grandparent’s wedding video? Your parent’s wedding video? I’m going to guess no, since wedding videography wasn’t widely available when our parents + grandparents were our age. But how amazing would it be now, to have video of them tying the knot? Consider it a digital heirloom. Do your kids and grandkids a favor; let’s hope they thank you when you’re old.

...But Why Is It So Much #$%*-ing Money?

A videographer’s equipment ain’t cheap. Top of the line DSLR cameras (what most videographers use for weddings) cost $3,000+ ... and they probably have two (or three) just for back-up on your big day. Lenses, the good ones, are anywhere from $800-$2,000 each! Videographers, depending how long they’ve been in the biz, have a handful of different lenses that allow them to capture moments and provide different effects for the final video. Videographers also have a wide range of accessories that help create fluid moving footage. Monopods, tripods and steadicams are all tools that we use to make our work look professional (not like your teenage cousin used her flip cam to record the entire day). Those accessories, along with editing software like Final Cut Pro, all add up to be a huge investment that videographers take on, because we want to provide a professional service to couples.

Alternatively, the wedding video sector is still continuing to evolve and grow, and there are always options like hiring a newbie, or negotiating a deal with a videographer that allows them to capture a unique wedding or gives them option to travel (hello! destination weddings, anyone?!). I can’t speak for all videographers here, but I almost always have a little room to negotiate for the right couple or situation. Things like off-season weddings or non-Saturday weddings are also all great ways to find a deal!

Conclusion

Whether or not you’re on a budget, videography can be a big financial commitment (though not necessarily as big as you think). But hey, it’s your wedding day and it’s hopefully only going to happen once. You’ve spent a whole lotta time preparing for this one day, so rally the troops, cut a few non-important people off your guest list and invest in capturing your day through video. Your wedding day will fly by, but you can continue to enjoy and remember how amazing it was!

p.s. If you couldn't be bothered to read the above, you can watch this cheesy stop-motion movie I made as an alternative.



Gaaaaaaaaaah it's a letter to esb! I am so famous!!

Photo of Courtney and her husband Brian (the other half of Love + Brain) by For You Love Me

Why should TALL GIRLS get their own line of dresses? (Sponsored by Dream-ers)

I am ashamed to admit I never realized how hard you tall ladies have it.

You got harassed in the high school cafeteria? You shop in the men's section? You can't buy a floor-length dress off the rack?? I mean, it makes total sense. It just never occurred to me.

Enter Yanique, of Dream-ers (formerly Trendsetter Vintage):

So why the heck should tall girls get their own line of dresses? Well....(scratching my head).....why the hell not? Us tall girls have to raid the men’s section to find clothes that are long enough, especially in the arms and legs. But men don’t wear dresses. (Okay, men don’t usually wear dresses.) There are no dresses in the big and tall store that we sneak into while pretending to shop for our other half.

I vividly remember my early years in high school, walking my 6-foot self into the cafeteria, only to hear..... “would you please pull your shoes up....or push your pants down?” followed by a hysterical outburst. Those morons were so cruel, until I discovered that my gangly teenage legs looked fierce in a mini skirt, and that’s all I wore, rain or shine. That was my reality for too long.

OK, I say “was,” because many designers are starting to pay attention to the tall minority, but only a handful of them get it right. The majority of them make you want to run screaming back to the big and tall store, their clothes are just so ugly and so grandma. Tall girls can find hope at Zara and J.Crew for separates. But darn it, what about when you need to go to a black-tie affair, or what if you want to wear a non-conventional wedding dress, where do you go, besides to a specialty seamstress? I can’t be the only tall girl who wants to wear a floor length gown, or a dress with sleeves that are actually long enough. What about a jumpsuit that doesn’t instantly give you camel toe?

By now, you may think I am nothing more than a drama-queen, and while I’ve been labeled that many times over, I promise......no drama on this one.

I love this fashion business a bit too much, so I quit my long stint as a manager at Chanel in order to focus on designing a line that tall women can wear with pride. The DREAMERS line, as clichéd as it sounds, means tall girls no longer need to dream of dresses that fit. The core pieces in the line are my vintage-inspired lace dresses. 

Many unconventional brides have already discovered these, and are ordering them for their weddings. We also make limited-edition dresses, based on fabrics we buy only in limited quantities. My intention is to keep styles exclusive (an idea gleaned from selling vintage clothing for so long).

All the Trendsetter Vintage pieces are available “off the rack,” BUT, we strongly encourage each buyer to send us her measurements. We then customize the dress using those measurements, so the dress fits perfectly when it arrives. This means (and I know I’m cheating here) even if you are not a fellow tall girl, you can still wear one of our dresses. I have some of the best seamstresses in LA working with me, and our turnaround time is exceptionally fast. They love what they do, with the only occasional complaint being, “the dresses are too long, the patterns don’t fit on my table.”

Chances are, if you are a fellow tall girl reading this, I won’t have to twist your arm. Because your reality is mine. You know why the hell we tall girls need our own line of dresses.

(All dresses pictured are from Yanique's DREAMERS line, $150-300)

Why the f*ck do I need a Wedding Planner? (Sponsored by Lowe House Creative)

Confession: I'd never heard of Lowe House Creative until Elizabeth approached me about sponsorship.... But based on our rapid-fire, cheerful, INCREDIBLY EFFICIENT email correspondence, I'd happily recommend her to anyone.

Here's Elizabeth:

So, why the f*ck do you need a Wedding Planner or Coordinator? It's just an extra unneeded service that the wedding industry is trying to con you into spending money on, right? Well... not really.

OK, the truth is, you don't need a Wedding Planner. Weddings are by nature a kind of luxury (for the sake of this piece we're going to define "wedding" as not an elopement, or a restaurant meal following a courthouse ceremony, or a thrown-together-in-a-month barbecue, even though those are some of my favorite kinds of weddings), and hiring someone to help you plan your wedding is a luxury as well. A wedding is just a large (albeit special) party, and the truth is that anyone is capable of planning a party.

That said, you might want a Planner. Why? Here are just a few reasons:

1. You've never planned a big party and even thinking about it makes your head hurt. You literally have no idea where to start (pro-tip: start with making your guest list, the number of guests determines everything else), what your options are, where to find a caterer/venue/florist/DJ, what those people normally charge, if it's possible to have the type of wedding you want for the amount of money you want to spend, etc. A fair amount of my clients come to me after having been engaged for quite a while, because they kept getting stuck on one of the above, and finally just wanted to get the damn thing over with already.

2. Your family is difficult, wants super different things in a wedding than you do, and they don't take you seriously. A wedding planner can help convince your mother/sister/cousin-in-law/step-grandmother that actually, yes, the type of wedding you want is not only OK, it's been done before, people will love it, no problem you can actually fit this many people into this space/feed them food off a truck/only serve beer and wine/not toss your bouquet/whatever. You know why? Because we're experts. The type of family member who is going to fight with you about your wedding is also the type of family member who will probably listen to an expert the most.

3. You want to save money. A lot of wedding planners out there advertise that they will save you as much or more money than they will charge you. I won't make that claim. While I do end up saving the vast majority of my clients money, it's just too hard to quantify. Sometimes I save my clients money in really concrete ways: they use vendors I have relationships with who give them discounts,* or they use supplies that I have on hand. But many of the ways I save my clients money are less concrete: I'm able to negotiate contracts down with full knowledge of the industry behind me, tell clients when a particular service they're looking at is overpriced and suggest an alternative, suggest cheaper ways for achieving the aesthetic they want, or tell them where they can cut things that really don't matter. All potential giant cost savings, all hard to quantify.

4. You will (often) get better service from your other vendors. As one of my clients put it, "I'm never going to have another wedding, so these people will never get repeat business from me, and thus have very little incentive to go above normal service standards for me. You, however, have the ability to send them a ton of business if you like them, so it's in their best interest to really impress you." And it's true. Vendors are much more likely to give my clients amazing service because they want to maintain a good relationship with me.

Now, you can get by without a Wedding Planner, but you actually do need a Wedding Coordinator. You don't necessarily have to hire a professional, but you do need to appoint someone to be in charge of the big picture. The majority of my clients tend to fall into two camps 1) really organized, borderline control-freaks who know that if they don't put someone competent in charge they will try to coordinate their own wedding 2) people who really just want to have a good time, don't super care about all of the little things, and want to hand off responsibility to someone competent so that they can party.

Someone should be in charge of setting up, checking in vendors, making sure things generally run on time, that everyone gets fed, that everyone is doing what they're supposed to be doing, that everyone who needs to be paid gets paid, and that things get cleaned up and all of your stuff gets out of the building at the end of the night. 

And this is the thing: something goes wrong at every wedding. It's almost always something that can be fixed -- you run out of wine/cups/soda halfway through the reception, somehow the cake forks/boutonnieres/coffee/napkins don't make it to the venue, the power dies/toilet paper runs out/it rains/the chairs are set up wrong/your bustle rips out/your keys get locked in the car before the ceremony. These things are all fixable, but someone has to deal with them. And ideally that someone is not someone who will be seriously bummed to miss the first dance/toasts/cake cutting.

To finish, a note: if you are hiring a Planner or Coordinator, make sure they are someone both of you like and trust. The relationship between wedding planner and client is surprisingly intimate -- weddings combine three of life's most stressful things together into one big ball of wonderfulness: family, money, and societal expectations. Inevitably some of your personal insecurities and family drama are going to come out. When they do, you're going to want someone around who you feel comfortable with, and who you know has your back. 

And in the end, that is why I love my job -- yeah, I get to plan rad parties and be around lots of pretty things. But really? I get to help super awesome people be a little more sane, a little more relaxed, and have a little more fun while they're making and celebrating a major life step. It's pretty great.

(Photo by Gabriel Harber)
______________________________

*I have a policy of not taking kickbacks from vendors that is actually written into my contract. If a vendor gives my clients a discount for coming to them through me, my clients get that discount. I don't pocket it or even a portion of it. Not all wedding planners do this, so I'd recommend you ask any potential planner what their policy about this is before you hire them. 

Alt Photography Workshop + POOL PARTY (Sponsored by Feather Love)

Feather Love (aka Noa), one of my fave photographers and hands-down the biggest rabble-rouser ever to write a guest post for esb, is doing a workshop in San Diego on June 28-29.

I'll let her tell you more:

Technical photography workshops are awesome, necessary, and extremely productive – but this is not one of them. Here are six reasons why my workshops are different:

1) I’M NOT A ROCKSTAR

I am not a “rockstar photographer.” I’m just a person who is sometimes totally full of shit, but I also spend a lot of time working on myself as an artist and I really really care about my work. My focus is on the quality of work we put out there, and most importantly our personal relationship to that work & what it can teach us. I am honest and revealing and have no intention of pretending to be someone I am not. I am not going to tell you how to skip the hard part & become a successful photographer overnight – QUITE THE CONTRARY.

(Photo of Feather Love in her studio by her husband Stuart)

2) FOCUS ON THE ARTIST

One of the main subjects I cover in the workshops, is how critical I believe it is to connect with our work & put ourselves into our art. Often times, photographers will focus on finding more expensive equipment, or spending hours looking at the work of other photographers in their industry for inspiration. As artists, we need to put ourselves & our experience into the work we are producing in order to create something that stands out & resonates with us. A majority of people who attend my workshops are photographers, but because I focus on The Artist, I often have other creative business people in attendance too – like bloggers, calligraphers, magazine editors, writers etc.

(Some of Feather Love's images from past workshops)

3) BREAKING THE RULES

My work is certainly not for everyone. I focus more on what intuitively clicks inside me while I’m shooting than I do on perfection in composition, lighting etc. In fact, I often do what would be considered “technically wrong” in order to get the results I want. I have seen a million pretty photos, but it’s often the blurry, strangely-cropped, under/over-exposed images that stand out for me the most. Why? Because I can personally relate to them. Because they reveal something deeper, more beautiful, more honest, more human. Let’s just say that if I had to choose between Ansel Adams and Diane Arbus, I’m going with Arbus.

4) ROUNDING IT OUT

Besides my more philosophical lectures, I also cover real-world examples from my experience, discuss experimentation, how to get the clients you want, self-branding and many other practical subjects. I leave ample time for Q & A to structure each workshop around the attendees. I invite incredible guest lecturers to focus on subjects that are vital in running your own creative business. For example: Anne Sage on the important role of social media in self-branding (Bay Area + San Diego Workshops), Chloe Aftel giving a hands-on Polaroid class that will blow your mind (Bay Area + San Diego Workshops), Emma Case on not compromising (London Workshop) etc. These are artists & creative people whom I admire and respect and have learned so much from.

(Images from previous workshops: first and last image by Feather Love, all others by Woodnote Photography)

5) THE AFTER PARTY

Yes, we spend a few good hours discussing all sorts of deep, intense and important topics – I pose vital questions that we need to ask ourselves… blah blah, BUT I also believe in not taking stuff too seriously. If we’re going to work hard, we’re going to relax and/or play hard too. Some of my workshop after parties have included:

glamping sleepover in a giant beach house overlooking the ocean with musical guests Tim & Nicki Bluhm (video by Bay Area workshop attendee Sara Wilbur Photography)

dirty-hip-hop dance parties (London & Italy video by Son Of Shark Pig)

… and sometimes celebrity guests! The beautiful Sarah Carter will be our model for the San Diego workshop.

Wine & friends, plus clean & tasty gourmet food is of utmost importance! (Nicole of Gjleina is catering!) … And we will also be taking some hard-core pool breaks.

6) CONNECTION

I love how people keep in touch after my workshops – they become friends, ask for help reviewing an edit, travel across the country to hang out together, do awesome photo projects together, or even start a Facebook group specifically for all the people in the workshop they attended, including me. It’s RAD.

I am so extremely super-excited about my upcoming 2-day workshop on June 28th & 29th at my house and studio in San Diego! You can learn all about it HERE. Find out more about my workshops, content I discuss, videos & interviews with me, attendee testimonials and more HERE.

(At top: Photos by workshop attendees Shutter Sam & Brosnan Photographic, plus Feather Love's images of A B & The Sea in her pool & Anne Sage in her studio)

How much are wedding photos rly worth?? (Sponsored by Sunshine Charlie)

I'm pretty excited about this one. Think I'll let Nicole do the talking...

Hello, I am Nicole Firestone, a Seattle-based wedding photographer. I am insatiably curious about life and people. I also believe in magic. Not in the fairy tale way, but in the way that human emotion can be communicated through photographs stopping you dead in your tracks or instantaneously bringing you to tears. It is truly magical when all goes right!

I am not your average camera lady who likes to pop in and out of your life for the events. I am interested in being a creator and producer of ideas and connecting with you on a higher level. It is this connection and intimacy in people that makes magical photographs, not cameras.

I decided that in order to better understand what goes into making photographic magic, and therefore what “value” people place on it, I would launch this project called Gimme This For.

Here's how it works:

1. You book your wedding with a $1000 deposit.
2. I deliver your photos and return your deposit in full.
3. You pay what you think your photographs are worth.

I want to stress that I am not doing this experiment because I believe the cost of wedding photography is unjustified. I honestly believe it is worth every penny!!  My goal is to stimulate conversation. I want to challenge people to think about not only what their photos mean to them, but also what the experience of creative collaboration means to them, especially on one of the most important days of their lives.

Weddings are an amazing time of support, love, and celebration. A wedding is an event composed of and by awesome people. And this is the day most “ordinary” people get to feel creative, make decisions, and plan something extra special for themselves. My idea is that if people have to decide what to pay me for their wedding photos, they will become more invested in the creative process. And the photos will be (intrinsically) worth that much more.

I've already been told that I'm crazy and that I'm going to attract the wrong crowd. I am aware of this possibility, but I trust my intuition to guide me in how and who I choose to participate in this study. Not having a price tag on my work does not devalue it.

The Gimme This For project is intended to be a feel-good experiment, not an insult to the community. So let’s get on with spreading the love.

I believe in challenge and contribution. I believe risks are worth taking. I believe in taking a chance to find truth. I believe in pressing on even in the face of opposition. I believe in listening and taking notes. I believe in goodness and life lessons. I believe in thought-provoking conversation and constructive criticism. I believe in making many friends along the way. And, most importantly, I believe people are inherently good.

Photos by Sunshine Charlie

But don't vintage clothes.... SMELL? (Sponsored by Monday's Child)

That's right, I have the coolest sponsors. On this bright and shiny Monday morning, I bring you a sponsored post from our lady Celia.

Hi folks! Assuming you're not completely over me after #BOOBSWEEK, I'm back to share my knowledge of vintage fashion, why you should consider wearing it if you don't, and why it's a fantastic option for your wedding. Now, before you go telling me that vintage clothes are just old rags that smell bad, let me school you a little. Thrifted clothes (which, I'll add, also have a special place in my heart) are what you're thinking of when you picture "old" and "smelly." But vintage, TRUE vintage, especially if it's been well preserved through the years, is quite the opposite of that. For those of you who aren't aware, I own an insanely rad collection of vintage clothes (if I do say so myself) that mostly comes from one woman's estate, and that happens to, believe it or not, NOT SMELL.

At this point, I've been wearing vintage for most of my life, and I'm not here to tell you that it's because I'm cooler or more vintage than you. I grew up going to private schools where I exclusively wore uniforms. "Free Dress" days are a pretty huge deal when you spend most days of your life wearing the same exact thing as the few hundred other kids you're constantly surrounded by. I discovered and became a fan of vintage because it was my way to stand out. If shopping at the mall meant looking like everyone else in non-uniform clothes, then I wanted absolutely nothing to do with places like The Gap and Contempo Casuals. I found individuality through wearing vintage, and it is why I still wear it today. When I saved every dime I had to buy myself a 1940s black satin gown for my prom, there was absolutely no fear of running into some other girl wearing the same exact dress. And on that note, don't think that vintage is so outside of the norm that it can only be outrageous or wacky. Although there are certainly many pieces that lean toward the more unique end of the spectrum, vintage can also be very simple and classic.

If you're new to the world of vintage, I understand that it can feel somewhat overwhelming. Simply put, if you get to understand the different eras and fit, vintage clothing starts to become a lot less intimidating. The first thing you should know right off the bat is that modern clothes are made to look good on hangers, whereas vintage clothes were made to look good on PEOPLE. Most vintage garments really don't come across so hot when they're just hanging in a shop or closet, so it's very important to give stuff a chance even if it looks stupid or unflattering. For the most part, it's impossible to tell how most vintage pieces are supposed to fit or lay until you literally put them on. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a dress and thought there's no way I could ever sell it, and then been blown away once I slipped it onto a dress form. This would be an example of such a dress. When I pulled it out of storage, it looked like a tablecloth with sleeves, but was surprised to see that in reality, it had a lovely shape (it's not pinned anywhere on the form).

Also in regards to fit, a common complaint I've hear throughout the years is that vintage clothes run so much smaller, and generally speaking, this is true. HOWEVER, it is extremely important to remember that up until the 70s, women wore SERIOUS undergarments. And by SERIOUS, I mean that those ladies knew how to contain their wobbly parts and floppity milkers. Older pieces were made to be worn with these gut-cinching unmentionables, so always keep that in mind if you have it stuck in your head that vintage simply does not fit your body type. I'm not saying you have to invest in some Spanx, but you should at least consider it.

Alright, let's move onto the real reason I decided to write this post. Since this is a wedding blog, I'd like to share my brand spanking new BRIDAL selection with you guys. I think it's safe to say that most of you who read East Side Bride aren't exactly conventional brides planning conventional weddings. This is exactly why wearing vintage is such a brilliant choice for your wedding. You don't have to buy a traditional wedding gown to look like a bride. Shit, you don't even have to buy a traditional vintage wedding gown to look like a bride. As I've been digging through my collection in the past few months, I've come across a number of dresses that I would've LOVED to have been married in.

When it comes to wearing vintage for your wedding, the possibilities are endless. I think many brides fear the idea of looking dated in a vintage wedding gown, and I totally get it. Although that very classic look is stunning in its own way, it is definitely not a look that all brides can or may even want to pull off. But why not consider looking beyond typical wedding gowns? If you don't want to stray too far from the norm, there are a plethora of white/off-white/ivory vintage gowns and dresses out there that would work perfectly for a wedding. Also, make sure to keep in mind that all you need to modernize a vintage piece is to properly accessorize it. Personally, I find this to be one of the best examples of a bride WORKING a vintage dress, and managing to still look up-to-date.

If you're a more adventurous bride, color is always a great option. I find that brides who are willing to wear color tend to stick with pastels, but who says you can't go insanely bold and surprise all your guests? No one who matters, that's who.

Oh, and one last thing... make sure you don't forget about your awesome bridesmaids. After all the love and support they've provided, don't they deserve to look killer, too?

Thanks again for having me, guys. And don't forget, true vintage is timeless and gorgeous. Not smelly.

In which ESB has a frank talk with her readers

Dear Everyone -- Casual readers and big ol fans and haters who claim not to be readers but seem to keep reading anyway,

I hoped I wouldn't have to write this post today, but. Let's get it out of the way once and for all.

YES. I have begun accepting sponsored posts from people I like who run businesses I want to promote. Businesses I know some (not all) of you will be way into supporting.*

And YES. I will fucking delete your comments if you are rude to my sponsors.

Hate on me all you want. Call me a bleeding cunt if you must.

But believe it or not, I'm running a business too.

xoxo,
ESB

Lemon centerpiece by SAUIPU
______________________________

*Of course ALL OF YOU won't approve of EVERY VENDOR I recommend. (Does every groom want a memento mori wedding band?)

Who gives a sh*t about the chairs?? (Sponsored by YEAH! rentals)

Remember way back here when I said I was branching out into a different kind of sponsored post? YEP.

I am beyond thrilled to have Michael Antonia (aka The Flashdance) here to say a little something about his latest venture: YEAH! rentals.

Who gives a sh*t about the chairs? 

Well, we do. In fact, we're obsessed with the chairs. First let's get something straight. We think that marriage is about love, and that a wedding doesn't need a particular style of chair to be awesome. But if you do have to rent furniture for your party or wedding, it might as well be hype, right?

If you're looking to create a cohesive atmosphere, you pretty much have three options: (1) a fancy-schmancy hotel ballroom with chiavari chairs and glossy "modern" accents that are actually fifteen years old. (2) a miami vice lounge-lizard vibe, with its white cubes, pleather, and lucite. (3) a shabby-chic, rustic look—an improvement, sure, but still not for everyone.

Mind you. We've seen our fair share of well-designed events, with details that make our heads spin. They're the result of a lot of hard work by a very talented couple, or by a team of artists worth their weight in vendor fees. It's hard work that gets lost amongst late-90's nightclub reject furniture, and the photographers we know curse those ugly chairs because they get documented in every shot. (Also. Can someone please explain why such cheap looking furniture is still so effin expensive to rent?) We call bullshit!

Which brings us to option four for that cohesive atmosphere: us. (Yeah!) We're really into interiors. We love timeless furniture and props that are artistic, not glowing. Most of our stock is vintage mid-century stuff or pieces by independent artisans in Los Angeles. In other words, we offer an extension of what's in our homes. We're always adding to our inventory, which not only means we're continually finding new items, but we can also shop just for your event. And if we can't buy it, we can make it; we have a line of custom items and are always creating more designs.

And here's the clincher. Even though our pieces cost bank to buy. Even though they're a pain in the ass to fit in a truck. Even though we have to haul them in and out of that truck daily without damaging them, causing countless 'holy ish!' moments. Our pricing is basically the same as AAA Party Rentals or Classic. Nothing against those guys. They rent things we don't like lighting, generators, and dance floors. We just dig our furniture a lot more.

So we're, like, really excited. 'Cause we know we're sitting on something really special here. Amongst a lot of other things—Eames daybeds, raw wood benches, Knoll sofas—we're sitting on a bunch of chairs. And like we said, we give a sh*t about the chairs.

Why the F*@% does it cost so much?? Sponsored by Whoa Nelly! Catering

Yep. I'm branching out into Sponsored Posts (or at least a sponsored post).

But instead of giving you the usual "this company is so wonderful because blah blah blah" in my voice, I thought it would be a lot cooler to let Elizabeth of Whoa Nelly! Catering have her say in her own voice.

And her voice is perfect for ESB. So without further ado....

hi, i'm elizabeth griffiths, the co-owner of Whoa Nelly! Catering. my partner, stephanie bone and i opened Whoa Nelly! Catering to be a fresh voice in the often stale world of special event catering. we love catering weddings, but there is one question that we get so often that we felt like we wanted to address it in a public forum: "why the f* does it cost so much!?"

catering a wedding is expensive. there are lots of caterers out there, and there are a wide variety of price points to choose from. that being said, if you want a caterer who cares passionately about the caliber of food being served at your wedding, get ready to spend more money than you would on an enchilada bar from the neighborhood taco joint (not that there is anything wrong with going that route. god knows, steph and i love a 'lada and a marg'...)

we're just going to lay it out here: if you hire us to cater your wedding, you should expect to pay between $75 and $100 per person on food and service. (note, that does not include rentals. why the f* rentals cost so much should be a blog of its own, not just a post...) but back to our average quotes: can we do it for less? yes. will you have to be flexible, and willing to streamline what you want? yes. is it our job to give our clients the very best value for their money, and get them as close to their vision as is financially possible? every. single. time.

so, you might ask, then why does it cost so much to have whoa nelly! cater your wedding? well, here are three basic reasons:

1. ingredients. there's a lot of lip service given to using farmers market ingredients. most of it is BS -- like if you use a local, farmers market ingredient in one dish, all of a sudden you're legit. we buy every single piece of produce we use at the farmers markets. one bunch of the beautiful, spicy, picked two-days-ago arugula that we buy from flora bella farm costs almost as much as a 3# bag of the pre-washed, picked-2-weeks-ago, flavorless stuff. But because we use these vibrant, delicious, heirloom ingredients, our salads look like this:

not like this:

one more note on ingredients. we buy all of our meat and dairy from companies who are raising their animals with care. one thing that boggles my mind is the prevalence of "filet mignon" on catering menus. one pound of niman ranch filet mignon costs $22/lb. one pound of commodity-grade, industrially produced filet costs $9/lb. If you are being quoted $35 per person for a menu that involves filet mignon, just take a minute and do the math. I think you can guess where your caterer is getting their meat.

2. labor. it takes a lot (seriously **A LOT**) of hours and a lot of people to make food for 200 people at one time. it is obvious that it take a lot of people the day of -- to make sure that everything comes out at the right time and the right temperature -- but it's the prep that makes a wedding sneakily expensive. Stephanie and i will EASILY spend a week's worth of 12 hour days in the kitchen prepping for an event (that's how long it takes when you actually peel your own garlic and pick your own thyme...) this sounds like a complaint, but it isn't meant to be. we are proud to run a company that doesn't cut corners by buying garlic in a jar, or using dried spice blends. stephanie even makes our pesto with a mortar and pestle (email us to find out why it makes a difference). if we were the kind of company who served the same menu at each wedding, it would make our lives easier, and our menus cheaper. but we really, truly believe in the value of creating custom menus for each of our clients. as is always the case: bespoke = be ready to pay more money for what you want.

3. time. the third thing we almost always get asked about is our "catering service charge." we charge this service fee as a way to compensate our administrative team (read: elizabeth and stephanie) for the time we spend working on your wedding, outside of the kitchen. i think with bigger companies, it's not such a big deal to have an assistant fire off a menu, or have an event manager be the one who's on site for your wedding. at Whoa Nelly!, we are the assistants, and the event managers, and the dish washers, and (of course) the cooks. that makes our operations small potatoes compared to some of the behemoths in the industry, but for the right type of bride, we hope it's reassuring to know that our personal hands are going to be all over every single aspect of your event -- from the first email to the last dirty sauce pan.

there is a pervasive myth out there that you say the word "wedding," and all of a sudden, the prices skyrocket. i say this is a myth not because weddings aren't expensive, but the myth is that the only reason the cost goes up is because of the "W-word" itself. it's expensive to produce a menu for 200 people that requires 8 cooks, 12 servers, and a full outdoor kitchen build-out. that being said, our worst nightmare is to have a bride who feels like they didn't get what they paid for. we want to have the happiest brides in town. we want all the girls and boys getting married out there to tell their friends about what an AMAZING experience they had working with us -- that's how we want to build our business -- not through gimmicks, or groupons, or trade shows (jesus, lesson learned the hard way on those...)

so, the bottom line is this: your wedding is supposed to be your BIG DAY. it might be a big budget day (that's what having a 200 person guest list will do for ya), but it doesn't have to be. what it should be is a chance for you to think about your priorities for how you want to celebrate. one of the very best weddings we did this year was a cocktail-style reception for an incredibly fun and creative bride and groom. we were able to work with them within their budget, because they understood that with only $25 per person to spend, they weren't going to get that lame-ass filet mignon. what they got instead was this. it didn't cost a whole f*ing lot, but it was a lot of f*ing fun.