a vegas elopement in polaroids

I dig all the photos from Stephanie & Micah's lovely little Vegas wedding (see more over on their travel blog), but the polaroids? OH MAN THE POLAROIDS. 

Expired polaroids slay me every time.

A few words from Stephanie:

So our little story goes like this...

We're both from Australia, have been together for 8 years and just recently returned to Melbourne after 15 months of overseas travel. We were never really interested in getting married, but now that I think about it, it was just that we never wanted a wedding. When we began planning our way back home to Melbourne, it felt very right to get married as a beautiful way to end the year long travel adventure we shared.

The idea to wed in Vegas honestly started out as something we'd kind of joke about. However after we discovered Gaby Jeter (our wonderful photographer) and realised that Vegas has some pretty charming aspects to it, we couldn't imagine being married anywhere else.

Organising a wedding/ elopement/ private ceremony, whatever you want to call it, in Vegas wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, and actually a bit of a nightmare at times. After reading countless online reviews about the infamous Vegas chapels, that we only imagined would be really cute and kitsch (so wrong), we saw a recurring theme of people being scammed, and we kinda didn't want to be scammed on our wedding day, you know?

Being able to choose our own celebrant and ceremony location helped to keep the level of Vegas tacky-ness pretty low. Because neither of us had ever been to Vegas before, we relied on Google maps to help us find photo locations (like the gorgeous Tod Motor Hotel featured in our pictures) and then Gaby would confirm if the colourful mid-century buildings we liked were still standing.

All in all, I can't recommend eloping enough (Vegas or not). It's incredibly romantic, it's fun, and you get to spend the whole day with your beloved prancing around in beautiful clothes with (maybe) the biggest secret you've ever kept. Then you get to call your family and friends back home and share the beautiful, happy news. Our parents and a couple of others did already know - couldn't quite do that to them!

Now that we're back home, we're having a little party to celebrate our marriage - minus any wedding stress. Just an opportunity to wear my dress again(!) and celebrate with our nearest and dearest.

- Stephanie & Micah


Dets on Stephanie's attire + her unanswered Dear ESB are over here if you missed em.

(POLAROIDDDDDDDDDS by Gaby Jeter)

The best is the enemy of the good.

I procrastinated writing about my wedding for ESB because I wanted to write something perfectly awesome, but there are no such words to encapsulate everything I want to say about it. Thankfully Jessica Schilling did one hell of a job with the photos, so they do most of the talking.

I had many of the same struggles all brides have with their weddings, but it was the first (god willing, only) time for me, so of course it felt like I was the only person dealing with xyz. That being said, I highly recommend working full time and being a full time grad student while planning your wedding. You find that you have no time to be indecisive. My mantra became "The best is the enemy of the good."

For instance, we didn't give much thought to how long it would take for the various parties to get down the aisle versus the songs playing. We just cut that shit about 30 seconds into each song (the dudes - "Going the Distance" from the Rocky soundtrack, the ladies - Neutral Milk Hotel "In the Aeroplane...", and me/my parents - Bach's Cello Suite #something - 1?) with no fancy fading. Sounded kind of hilarious and half assed in retrospect, but world did not end! Laughed a lot instead.

We did this low-ish budget style (for LA at least) but spent a much higher percentage on our officiant than most wedding budgets will tell you to. We hired Gina Zimmerman - the one wearing a glittery shawl and harem pants blessing our marriage site with sage - and it was one of the best decisions we made.

Knowing we had way way WAY too much going on while wedding planning meant we wanted to make sure the one part that actually mattered - the ceremony - was exactly what we wanted. Gina came to our home, nestled up with our cats and listened to us for hours one evening so she could write extraordinarily beautiful things for the ceremony about us, the partnership we have, and the partnership we strive towards. It was totally, completely awesome.

I totally expected to be a crying mess during our vows etc, but it took till our first dance (The Breeders - Off You) for me to totally lose it. And lose it I did! Makes for fun pictures.

Photos by Jessica Schilling. Check out tons more images of Erin & Mike's totally, completely awesome wedding (along with dets about location &c.) over here.

♥ ♥ ♥

What should my viking wizard officiant wear?

My wedding is in November. I am having my best friend of over 20 years get ordained so she can marry me and my FH!

Problem is I have no idea what she should wear? She describes herself, and I quote, "I AM A PRIESTESS..., viking wizard, spiritual warrior, breakbeat loving yogini, tribal queen." Yes, this is her description on her blog. She is amazing and beautiful, I just can't have her show up in an outfit she would wear to Burning Man. Although if we were getting married out there, I would love whatever she wore. I need your help here-PLEASE!

Thank you ESB!

*****

Would a caftan be too Burning Man?

Photo: Carmen Freudenthal + Elle Verhagen courtesy of Dazed and Confused

Should I have the warm + fuzzies for my wedding officiant?

March 14, 2011

Hi ESB,

I'm getting married in two months. Neither my fiance nor I are religious and have decided a JOP/judge is the way to go for our officiant.

My question is, for non-religious brides, are you supposed to feel a connection to the officiant? I've met with one very nice officiant who has a calm voice, an authoritative presence and excellent reviews from past brides (found online, not on his personal website). But I don't have much of a rapport with him. I'm sure he'll show up on time on the day of and make the ceremony feel official, special even, given his reviews online.  But I'm wondering, should I have the warm and fuzzies for him? Or is it normal, especially when having a non-religious ceremony, to feel a little more distant from the person officiating your wedding?

Any advice is much appreciated!
Confused in Chicago

*****

May 11, 2011

Yipes, I'm late writing to you. Any updates?

*****

May 21, 2011

Hi ESB!

Greetings from the land of newly returned honeymooners! I can't tell you how happy I am that I never have to plan a wedding again for the rest of my life. (And that includes if fate deals me a bad hand and I get divorced/widowed. Screw wedding planning. I'm eloping next time.)

So, in short, I can tell you that you absolutely should have a rapport with your officiant (although warm fuzzies are not required). I can also tell you that it will matter very little how your officiant looks or acts on your wedding day. Because you really will not notice.

In the end, I listened to my gut and called a few other judges in Chicago. The first judge I talked to wasn't available on our wedding day but was incredibly nice and friendly, and I immediately felt better just talking to him. He recommended another judge, who I talked to on the phone and was personable and professional. He was available on the day of, he didn't suggest anything about a sand ceremony, unity candle or giving roses to every important female in the room (gag me with a spoon) and once we booked with him he sent us a secular wedding template for us to consider for our ceremony. We tweaked it, edited it, added in the vows we'd already picked out, and writing our ceremony together one sunny afternoon in April is one of my favorite memories about the wedding preparation process.

I never met our officiant in person before the wedding day. Before our ceremony, he arrived early, met separately with myself and my husband, gave us pointers on where to stand, got the wedding license and his remaining payment, and headed out to the ceremony area. He did an excellent job, he had a great voice, and he even threw in a sweet addition at the beginning of the ceremony that really set the tone. But ultimately, my eyes were on my man, my future husband, the whole time. He and I just stood there grinning at each other, having the most romantic staring contest - we couldn't take our eyes off each other (see attached photo - one of my many favorites from the day). Once we were pronounced husband and wife, we ran for the nearest private space and had several quiet minutes alone. I never even said goodbye to the officiant, who slipped out after the ceremony, simply because he knew his job was done and we were fine.

So, yes, it's important to feel a rapport with your officiant. Don't book someone you don't feel comfortable talking to or that you don't like the idea of speaking to all your friends and family for 10-15 minutes. If they give you pushback on anything you really want - including a template of the ceremony - look for another person. But also don't worry about the day of - your focus will so not be on the person wearing judges robes, priest robes, etc. It'll be on the only other person in the room dressed as awesomely as you are, grinning like a fool.

Signed,
Contented in Chicago

*****

Speaking of wedding officiants... It felt like the right day to publish this one.

If our minister is ordained online, will the wedding be legal?

Hi ESB,

I'm sorry for only ever asking you questions about officiants, but this aspect of wedding planning has been the most problematic. I'm in a bind. The wedding is just over 3 months away and I found out yesterday that I am officiant-less. My family friend who was a former pastor had qualms about performing a non-religious ceremony. I understand, I get it, but now I need an alternate. We had a possible back up plan who was okay with performing a non-religious ceremony but it turns out that since he is a Deacon, he can only marry people in a church. We are having our ceremony and reception in a bar/restaurant. It's too late to change the ceremony location.

I like the idea of having someone I know officiate the ceremony. I was considering asking a long-time friend to get ordained online but this article made me question the legality of doing that. In addition to the legality issue, my friend isn't used to public speaking, so I'm not sure how he would hold up in front of a crowd.

What do you think I should do?  Do you or your readers have any recommendations for good NYC area officiants willing to perform a non-religious ceremony? If I have to go with a stranger, I'd at least like said stranger to come highly recommended...

*****

You're wise to be cautious. I know of two couples were "married" by friends this past year in the great state of Los Angeles and discovered weeks (or months?) later that the marriages were not in fact legal because said friends did not manage to mail the damn licenses in on time or fill in the correct zip codes.

It may not be brain surgery, but apparently it is almost as complicated as registering a vehicle with the DMV.

Anyhoo. Can anyone recommend a good NYC officiant?

Stella McCartney Resort 2012 via Tobacco & Leather

What should my officiant wear??

Hi ESB,

My best friend M is marrying my FH and me in October and we are trying to decide what he should wear to perform the ceremony. FH is wearing a gray suit and I am wearing an off-white vintage dress. What do you think of M wearing a light blue suit (like a vintage blue color)? Or maybe dress pants, vest, tie and sneaks? The wedding is cocktail casual, I think light blue and gray and off white would look nice all together.

You have any ideas on where I should look? We are on a budget too, of course.

Thanks!!
xo

*****

NO VEST + TIE WITHOUT A JACKET. Not a fan. Never been a fan.

It'll just make M look like a) he forgot his jacket or b) he was too cheap to buy one.

Focus on finding a great suit that fits. Who gives a sh*t what color it is?

I highly recommend Wasteland for second-hand suit shopping. (We bought H's Jil Sander there for about $200.)

The Flashdance, who is always well turned-out, swears by Jake Vintage: "like an episode of mad men. the main dude there, jonathan, is a fucking gem."

Photo of Jon Hamm courtesy of Best Life Magazine

If the officiant is a family friend, do we have to pay him?

Dear ESB,

I am getting married in October and we recently asked a family friend of mine to officiate the ceremony. He is a former pastor, and he has been a close friend of my family (like, comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners kind of close) since before I was born. He officiated my parents' ceremony, as well as my cousin's, and he seemed very happy and touched when I asked him to officiate our wedding. 

After I asked him, however, I realized that I have absolutely no idea what I should pay him! My fiance and I live and are getting married in New York, and he is in California. He had said before I was engaged that he and his wife would fly to New York in a heartbeat to be at my wedding. I wish that I could be like, "I'll pay for your plane ticket and hotel, and here's a generous gift!", but we honestly do not have the money for that.

What do you think is appropriate? Do I need to pay for his hotel and airfare, even though he would have come anyways? Or should I simply get him a nice gift? And if so, what amount would be appropriate to spend? I am at a loss here. Thoughts?

*****

Be totally upfront. Tell the guy "I wish I could offer to pay for your travel, but it's just not in our budget." And ask him if there's a standard honorarium he's accustomed to receiving.

Chances are he'll pooh pooh all that, but you'll feel better if there's no ambiguity.

And then, yeah, buy him a present. Something more fancy than a candle but less spendy than a car.

(Image courtesy of Harper's Bazaar via Laurel Thompson via Fashionising.com)