why not start your day with an illegal gay wedding?

just wanted to say thanks for all the frank talk. ESB really helped me keep perspective while we did our planning, and we wound up with an awesome day.

because it doesn't have to be so LOADED, lady.

Okay you know I don't really approve of two wedding dresses, but DAMN.

Also: YOUR WIFE IS HOT.

(Photos by The Life You Love. Check out more photos of Molly and Tracy plus gorg details &c. over here.)

My Mom's Big Gay Wedding

Hello East Side Bride! 

Your blog was a lifesaver for me as I planned my own wedding, and now I'm hoping you can help out my sweet Mom while she plans hers! 

Unfortunately, even with all the recent good news for Gay Rights, she still can't marry her longtime partner here in New Orleans. They've grown tired of waiting, and are heading to D.C. in March to do the deed legally. Only problem is, they know almost nothing about the city. 

Maybe some of your readers would have some suggestions? They're looking for a place to hold the ceremony (extremely small, probably just 10 people or less), a nice restaurant to head to after, and a photographer to capture the day. The only thing she's thought about so far is to have the ceremony in a nice park, but we're not sure of the weather in March.

Thanks so much!

*****

Good news! Cevd (who lives in DC) tells me that March is cherry blossom season. Maybe your mom knew that already? Cevd says:

The weather should be brisk, not freezing, and there will be a chance of rain, it's DC after all, but BEAUTIFUL. You can get married in only two spots on the mall, from what I hear, which is technically a national park. One of those spots is the Tidal Basin, i.e. BEST CHERRY BLOSSOMS. Here's the link, and they should likely get on it.

She also recommended a few restaurants (with the caveat that they're all a little spendy):

Fiola - Shit ass website, best italian food.
City Zen 
Obelisk - I've not been but people fucking love it.

I'm not sure if these two take groups that large, maybe for a special occasion? But they are ABSOLUTELY worth looking in to:

Suna
Komi

The photo is by Amber Mahoney, a DC-based alternative wedding and documentary photographer, who also started this super cool project. I'd hire her in a heartbeat.

wtf should i wear to my gay wedding

Dear ESB,

I'm getting married next summer and I have no idea wtf to wear. Not a wedding dress. I'm queer and sorta butch, so dresses make me feel like I'm in drag. Problem is that full-on men's formal wear ALSO feels a little like drag (or like I'm wearing business clothes instead of party clothes?), plus it's going to be HOT where we're getting married and I'd rather not wear a jacket.

If you ask the internet for less-gendered-gay-wedding clothes everyone says "flowy white linen pants," which, barf. My everyday uniform is jeans, pearl snap shirt, bomber jacket, boots. I thought about finding some narrow pants I can wear with boots but then what do I wear on top? I'm not opposed to having something custom-made, but I'd have to figure out what.

(Additional wrinkle is that I'm short, size 8, and a total hourglass, so the loose vest and shirt thing like Patty did looks like I'm wearing a tent and a high-button vest just makes me look portly all the way down. Because I'm not thaaat butch, I'd rather show the curves than hide them, especially considering that hiding them is a losing proposition.)

In summary: is there anything I can wear that's medium-butch, hot-weather-friendly, looks good on short curvy ladies, and keeps things snazzy? Plz help. There is a serious lack of intermediate-gender fashion inspiration for the queer ladies.

*****

How bout this Arden Jumpsuit by Kara Janx?? I'd fucking marry you in this.

Kara annoys the crap out of me on Project Runway All Stars, but her bridal line doesn't suck. It's also quite reasonably priced.

Marcel Castenmiller by Jonas Kesseler for FHM Collections Germany via Fashion Gone Rogue

Asking guests to donate to NO on PROP 8: Tacky or Thoughtful?

Hi!

My fiancé and I live in the Castro district of San Francisco and I can't help but feel guilty that we're legally allowed to get married while the vast majority of our neighbors are not. Yes, I realize that my neighbors do not personally view us as the "hetero-enemy" or anything, but it just makes me sad that same-sex marriage is still illegal in California and I don't want to ignore that fact.

I read one suggestion that I kind of liked: on the registry page of our wedding website, include a section that says we would also appreciate donations made out to "charity X" so everyone in California can legally marry their loved ones, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Would doing that be tacky/pretentious or respectful/sensitive? Do you have any other suggestions that are better? I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but this issue is important to us and we'd like to respectfully address it in some way.

Thanks!

*****

I love that idea.

Couple and Child, San Francisco Gay Parade (1978) courtesy of the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art

DEAR ESB: my boyfriend won't get married until EVERYONE can get married

i have been dating my lovely boyfriend for almost three years now. we have a happy, wonderful relationship and talk often of our future together. we are both 22 and now that we are out of college and living together we have started to discuss the idea of marriage. however, he doesn't want to get married until everyone in the US can marry the person of their choosing. i agree that it is incredibly backward and unfair that many people in our country cannot marry their partners simply because they happen to be of the same sex. but while his strong convictions are one of the reasons i love him so much, i feel kind of differently about it. i want to get married! not now, but i'm also not sure if i want to wait until our country wakes up and allows everyone to marry freely. so, what do i do? what do you think?
 
-a

*****

Obviously, every human person should have the right to marry whomever he or she chooses. But I don't think that's the issue at stake here.

You're twenty-two. Way too young to get married. You and your boyfriend should be traveling the world together, working your asses off in your respective jobs, breaking up and getting back together again* and figuring your shit out. What's the rush?

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is hiding behind his political convictions because he's afraid to tell you he's not ready. When he wants to marry you, he will marry you, whether we happen to be living in a democratic utopia or under a right-wing dictatorship. 

*Or not. My college boyfriend was an absolute doll, but I'm glad I'm not married to him.

(Photo of January Jones and Jon Hamm by Annie Leibovitz courtesy of Vanity Fair. EDIT: How stoked am I that Mad Men starts up again on Sunday? STOKED.**)

**Update: I am not that stoked for reruns. WHEN IS SEASON FOUR GONNA AIR?**

s p a r k l e

I'm officially obsessed.

But f*ck Free People. And Anthropologie. And Urban Outfitters. I won't give my money to Yes on 8, even retroactively.

Via Le Fashion

Vote NO On Prop 8

And please vote for Obama.

I had planned to do a more elaborate post for today. I meant to take up this challenge from Peonies. What better time to mull over what I love about my country.... Right?

But I'm a little f'ing freaked out to be frank.

I have been remiss

This is an issue that's important to me and I realize I haven't blogged a thing about it.

None of my gay friends are *legally* married, but they were among the first to start families together, buy houses, move halfway around the world to be with each other. In short, to demonstrate the kind of commitment that I've only recently become comfortable with.

Why the f*ck shouldn't they have the same right to make it legal?

Vote NO on Prop 8.

(Image by phlora)