DEAR ESB: Can I ask my friends to camp?

hey ESB:

what are your thoughts on camping? a good friend of mine is having a camping wedding, and i'm less than psyched about it. i hate sounding so crankypants about it, but i'm flying across the country to attend, and then flying out early on sunday morning. my soon to be husband is telling me to get over it. i think my friend and i have different ideas about what it means to be a host, and quite frankly, i want a private bathroom and a roof over my head. 

maura

*****

Yeah, no. I have no problem with camping. Maybe one day H and I will even manage a real camping trip (instead of hightailing it to the nearest coffee shop the first morning because we're too lazy to build a fucking fire, and then checking into the Madonna Inn because hello, it's the Madonna Inn).

But expecting your guests to fly across the country WITH GEAR, pitch tents, and primp for your wedding without running water, electricity or proper mirrors? That is just cruel. I mean, IS THE BRIDE GETTING READY IN A TENT?

As Anonymous put it: "Camping weddings sound fun... until you actually experience them. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the ones I've been too have turned into messes. Bathrooms become a huge issue and people get all crankypants." [Note the preponderance of the word crankypants.] Maybe the photos from weddings like this have given some of us* an overly romantic notion of what a "camping wedding" is really like?

Anyhoo, if there are cheapass/intrepid people who wanna camp, awesome. But it's inconsiderate to throw a wedding where camping is the only option.

(Woodsman Menagerie by Oh My Cavalier via Citrus Hearts)

*Me included. I am not immune to the hype.

Dear ESB: Can I ask my friends to stay in a nasty hotel?

So, our wedding is on a tight tight budget. We are SO lucky to have my parents' very awesome ranch/property as our wedding location for every reason (saving money that barely exists, freedom to do what damn ever, etc.) The one issue that perhaps I'm making a bigger issue than necessary- it's a VERY rural little redneck town in the middle of NOWHERE, and the hotels that we and all our friends would have to stay at are nasty. I mean, not completely ghetto, but like, holiday inn express or la quinta inn. I don't want to sound like a dick- I know we'll be leaving not long after on a sweet ass honeymoon anyway, and I'm not a hotel snob at all, but is it weird for other people to be requested to stay in these little dumps? And am I going to end up caring that night that we're in some stiff not comfy bed in a janky hotel room for our first night of wedded bliss?

-a fellow east side bride

*****

Dear FESB,

I don't want to sound like a bitch, but you are definitely a hotel snob.

Count your blessings. The Holiday Inn Express and La Quinta are not dumps. (I have stayed in some dumps.) You're not asking anyone to camp, for fuck's sake. And I have a feeling that if you're planning a wedding on a "tight tight budget," you've got friends living on tight tight budgets who will be thankful they don't have to shell out $500/night for rooms in some douchebag luxury hotel.*

On your first night of wedded bliss, you will be so fucking glad to be married you won't give a shit about the hotel room. I promise.

xoxo,
ESB

Photo by Alexi Lubomirski for Vogue Germany via {a glamorous little side project}

*Okaaaaaaaaay. I like luxury hotels too. Sure, it would be nice to have the option. But srsly, your friends + fam love you. They really really aren't gonna mind.