on not being a mother

Kristina wrote something the other day that I can't stop thinking about.

Her post was mostly about how connected she feels to other mothers and mothers-to-be, but the bit that jumped out at me was this: "in some way it becomes almost harder to relate to people who aren't yet mothers." 

Aren't yet mothers.

I don't plan on becoming a mother. My best lady in New York is a mom -- she's expecting her second baby at the end of July. My best lady in Vancouver is doing her damndest to get pregnant. And my best lady in Glasgow has such a great outlook on impending motherhood she almost makes me want to have twins too. Almost.

Like I said, I don't plan on becoming a mother. It's something H and I keep talking about, and we're pretty much convinced that parenthood isn't something we want to sign up for. But the idea that this decision will pull me and my friends apart makes me sad.

______________________________

Just because I don't want kids doesn't mean I can't get way into shopping for kids' clothes. I scored some fantastic Carhartt overalls at the Brooklyn Flea for Mr. S, size three-year-old. 

(These vintage baby nikes await Kristina's little boy.)

HOW CAN I NOT POST THIS PHOTO?

Srsly.

I dunno what it is with me and little funny faced dogs lately but if H doesn't stop working these shit-ass hours he's gonna come home and find me with one.

Image courtesy of The Blah, Blah, Blahg... (Incidentally, if you need to know HOW TO GET YOUR DOG OFF THE SOFA, Miss B can tell you.)

fess up

Do you watch the momversations? I mean, without, you know, being a mom?

Yesterday Peonies asked, "Is anyone else addicted to the momversation videos?" and I think she found my answer a little smug. Yikes, okay my answer was more than a little smug.

But the truth is I don't watch them to pat myself on the back and say, "Man I'm so glad I don't have to deal with issues like miscarriage or circumcision or whatever. Lucky me!" I think maybe I watch them to torture myself. To pick the scab? Because H-town and I are 95-97% sure we don't want kids at this point (and I am not young enough to waste any time if I want em). But there's some part of me that needs to, yes, torture myself about it.

Just a wee image of me melodia's Parker that I happen to have stored on my phone. SEE? I DON'T HATE BABIES. 

happy halloween

It's Parker as William Hundley's Chihuahua on Cheeseburgers.

Now hie thee to me melodia to see the making-of photos. This kind of action you don't want to miss:

baby ambivalence (part two)

Some posts can be scheduled, and some should go up the instant you write them.

When I first saw this photo (last Thursday? Friday?) it gave me that feeling. I think it was the little t-shirt.

But at the moment I'm so glad not to have a baby crying in my house. I do enough to thwart my own productivity.

(Photo by Ashley Thalman)

baby ambivalence

I'm on the fence about having a baby. Or, rather, I'm looking over the fence. Thinking smugly, "I'm so glad I don't want a baby."

But every so often I have a moment of doubt.*

Like when the rad eight-month-old Mr. S and I are dancing to a Tom Petty Pandora station and he makes a little humming noise to indicate that he appreciates a mean guitar riff. Or when Jamie admits to having a thrifted baby clothes collection tucked away in her shed (hello tiny Wrangler).**

And I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

But mostly I think about all the ways I love my life with H-town. And all the things we want to do as two.

Yikes, did I really just write a baby ambivalence post? Welcome to esb year #2.

*Mom, please do not get excited. If you ask me about this post, I will deny I ever wrote it. I'm serious.

**We had a whole corresp w/ Peonies about whether it was tempting fate and/or just plain creepy to buy baby clothes before you have a baby. But I have determined that Jamie is behaving sensibly. I mean, could you pass up a size 12mo vintage western shirt? For 99 cents? And her best friend gets the collection if she doesn't have a baby for whatever reason.

(Image of the shirt snapped for me by Jamie)