Lowe House Creative Comes to LA! (Sponsored Post)

Elizabeth of Lowe House Creative is back on ESB with some very excellent news for LA brides (and LA vendors!): She's expanding her business.

I'm a sixth generation Northern Californian, but I have always loved Los Angeles, and I'd always had this thought in the back of my mind that when it came time to expand my business beyond the Bay Area, LA would be the place. And that thought kept nagging and nagging, and I was slowly doing research, and dragging my feet in an I'm-already-too-busy kind of way, and then this summer my best friend told me he was moving down there. It was the sign I needed to just do this shit. So, hey LA! I'm so excited to spend more time in you. 

I've written here before about why the f*ck you need a wedding planner/coordinator, but now I want to talk about why you specifically need a Lowe House planner/coordinator.

My team and I care a ton about our clients, and we project manage the shit out of their weddings. Yep. If you ask me, I'm a project manager, and my projects just happen to be weddings. But my clients are always the most important thing. Always. Ultimately, I'm not invested in whether or not your wedding is blog-worthy, or whether or not I like your colors or your bridesmaids' dresses or your choice of centerpieces (though my background is in fine art & interior design, and I would loooove to pore over paint swatches and flatware patterns and floral samples with you if you're into that). What I am invested in is simple: that my couples are happy with their weddings, and that they are able to enjoy their weddings, because they know I'm on top of shit, and I always have their backs, and I am going to make sure that the day unfolds just the way they imagined it would. 

It may also be worth mentioning that we're not the right planners/coordinators for every client. I define my style as "extremely casual and highly professional." I favor loud nail polish, I tend to swear more than I should, and while I have actually mastered the French Twist, the majority of the the time my hair is down. But my timelines make other vendors weep with joy, I have a knack for spotting most problems before they happen, and I am totally unflappable in the face of the world's most overbearing mothers. I have amazing relationships with the other vendors I work with because of all of these things -- they know I'm going to be super on top of stuff, which makes their lives infinitely easier, and also I'm fun to hang out with. Referrals from other vendors are my largest source of new clients, which is apparently not common in this business. That said, I will not hesitate to go to bat for my clients if necessary, no matter who the vendor is or how much business they've sent me before (this is the main reason I have a strict no-kickback policy -- it has to be clear at all times that my clients are my #1 priority).

I got a thank you note from a client last week that actually made me cry (and I'm not a crier). I won't bore you with the whole thing, but it began: "We cannot imagine our wedding without you. We hired a reputable wedding planner/coordinator/guru, and ended up with the raddest wedding planner/coordinator/guru and friend." And that, right there, is exactly why I do this. I work like a crazy person most of the year, but when, at the end of a 14-hour day, my clients, their parents, and their friends come up to me and hug me and thank me for making the day great? That's my kind of high. 

So! If you're an LA-based wedding vendor (or venue owner, or just generally rad person) please get in touch -- I'd love to buy you coffee, or a drink, and chat about the city and the crazy, awesome world of weddings. I'm working actively on expanding my vendor list down there, and always looking for more people I can feel good about recommending.

And if you're an LA-based potential client? Definitely get in touch. We're starting to get booked up for 2014, but I've been saving some slots specifically for LA clients, so grab them before they're gone! I'll be down there every 4-6 weeks for the next little while, because I always prefer to meet people over tables instead of internet connections. 

I'm so excited to see what kind of radness I can cook up with clients in Los Angeles. I'm excited about new venues, that gorgeous, smog-filtered LA light, and the fact that I will finally be able to suggest the In-N-Out truck for late night food (why oh why can't get we get the trucks up here!). I know LA and I are going to have some fun together. 

Why the f*ck do I need a Wedding Planner? (Sponsored by Lowe House Creative)

Confession: I'd never heard of Lowe House Creative until Elizabeth approached me about sponsorship.... But based on our rapid-fire, cheerful, INCREDIBLY EFFICIENT email correspondence, I'd happily recommend her to anyone.

Here's Elizabeth:

So, why the f*ck do you need a Wedding Planner or Coordinator? It's just an extra unneeded service that the wedding industry is trying to con you into spending money on, right? Well... not really.

OK, the truth is, you don't need a Wedding Planner. Weddings are by nature a kind of luxury (for the sake of this piece we're going to define "wedding" as not an elopement, or a restaurant meal following a courthouse ceremony, or a thrown-together-in-a-month barbecue, even though those are some of my favorite kinds of weddings), and hiring someone to help you plan your wedding is a luxury as well. A wedding is just a large (albeit special) party, and the truth is that anyone is capable of planning a party.

That said, you might want a Planner. Why? Here are just a few reasons:

1. You've never planned a big party and even thinking about it makes your head hurt. You literally have no idea where to start (pro-tip: start with making your guest list, the number of guests determines everything else), what your options are, where to find a caterer/venue/florist/DJ, what those people normally charge, if it's possible to have the type of wedding you want for the amount of money you want to spend, etc. A fair amount of my clients come to me after having been engaged for quite a while, because they kept getting stuck on one of the above, and finally just wanted to get the damn thing over with already.

2. Your family is difficult, wants super different things in a wedding than you do, and they don't take you seriously. A wedding planner can help convince your mother/sister/cousin-in-law/step-grandmother that actually, yes, the type of wedding you want is not only OK, it's been done before, people will love it, no problem you can actually fit this many people into this space/feed them food off a truck/only serve beer and wine/not toss your bouquet/whatever. You know why? Because we're experts. The type of family member who is going to fight with you about your wedding is also the type of family member who will probably listen to an expert the most.

3. You want to save money. A lot of wedding planners out there advertise that they will save you as much or more money than they will charge you. I won't make that claim. While I do end up saving the vast majority of my clients money, it's just too hard to quantify. Sometimes I save my clients money in really concrete ways: they use vendors I have relationships with who give them discounts,* or they use supplies that I have on hand. But many of the ways I save my clients money are less concrete: I'm able to negotiate contracts down with full knowledge of the industry behind me, tell clients when a particular service they're looking at is overpriced and suggest an alternative, suggest cheaper ways for achieving the aesthetic they want, or tell them where they can cut things that really don't matter. All potential giant cost savings, all hard to quantify.

4. You will (often) get better service from your other vendors. As one of my clients put it, "I'm never going to have another wedding, so these people will never get repeat business from me, and thus have very little incentive to go above normal service standards for me. You, however, have the ability to send them a ton of business if you like them, so it's in their best interest to really impress you." And it's true. Vendors are much more likely to give my clients amazing service because they want to maintain a good relationship with me.

Now, you can get by without a Wedding Planner, but you actually do need a Wedding Coordinator. You don't necessarily have to hire a professional, but you do need to appoint someone to be in charge of the big picture. The majority of my clients tend to fall into two camps 1) really organized, borderline control-freaks who know that if they don't put someone competent in charge they will try to coordinate their own wedding 2) people who really just want to have a good time, don't super care about all of the little things, and want to hand off responsibility to someone competent so that they can party.

Someone should be in charge of setting up, checking in vendors, making sure things generally run on time, that everyone gets fed, that everyone is doing what they're supposed to be doing, that everyone who needs to be paid gets paid, and that things get cleaned up and all of your stuff gets out of the building at the end of the night. 

And this is the thing: something goes wrong at every wedding. It's almost always something that can be fixed -- you run out of wine/cups/soda halfway through the reception, somehow the cake forks/boutonnieres/coffee/napkins don't make it to the venue, the power dies/toilet paper runs out/it rains/the chairs are set up wrong/your bustle rips out/your keys get locked in the car before the ceremony. These things are all fixable, but someone has to deal with them. And ideally that someone is not someone who will be seriously bummed to miss the first dance/toasts/cake cutting.

To finish, a note: if you are hiring a Planner or Coordinator, make sure they are someone both of you like and trust. The relationship between wedding planner and client is surprisingly intimate -- weddings combine three of life's most stressful things together into one big ball of wonderfulness: family, money, and societal expectations. Inevitably some of your personal insecurities and family drama are going to come out. When they do, you're going to want someone around who you feel comfortable with, and who you know has your back. 

And in the end, that is why I love my job -- yeah, I get to plan rad parties and be around lots of pretty things. But really? I get to help super awesome people be a little more sane, a little more relaxed, and have a little more fun while they're making and celebrating a major life step. It's pretty great.

(Photo by Gabriel Harber)
______________________________

*I have a policy of not taking kickbacks from vendors that is actually written into my contract. If a vendor gives my clients a discount for coming to them through me, my clients get that discount. I don't pocket it or even a portion of it. Not all wedding planners do this, so I'd recommend you ask any potential planner what their policy about this is before you hire them. 

more of the usual

Dear East Side Bride,

I finally got up the balls and listened to you (and the other commenters) here. [Editor's Note: Pls command+click or ctrl+click or right click or middle click, or, you know, whatever works for you, TO OPEN LINK IN A NEW TAB]

Thanks to everyone. I think I was just insecure about feeling like I was being a bad guy. But I bad-guy-ed up and kicked her to the curb. (as nicely as I could, of course).

But now I have another problem: How the hell does one choose a wedding day of / month of planner??

We live about 4 hours from where we're having our wedding so it isn't feasible to meet ALL of them. 

Do we choose by who has the nicest website? Who is the fastest email responder? Who has the best price?

None of these factors ensure a good planner. 

Does it not REALLY matter how good they are because they're only "day-of" and as long as they're doing SOMETHING it's good enough? 

What are the sort of questions you ask to narrow down the field of planners other than "are you available?" and "what's your price?" ?

Thanks again,
The Lone Planner (now looking for a sidekick)

P.S. Can I just mention that I'm one of those crazy borderline OCD planning people that makes half a million ranked & prioritized To-Do lists complete with labelled diagrams of tablescapes so I MAY just end up going crazy on the day of and insisting I do most of the work anyways?

*****

please please please: hire whoever makes you feel the most calm.

just reading your email sort of makes me start to hyperventilate.

Image via Katie Rodgers via Jen Gotch via Hakanai (Does anyone know the original source?)

My coordinator sucks at coordinating

Hi

We're getting married in Hawaii. In a month. We picked a hotel and are essentially doing everything through them. We worked with one coordinator for almost a year and a half, then last month she informed me she got invited to her college friend's wedding on the same day as ours. What was I going to do? Pull an uber-bitch and say no? Right. I'm not sure I've got a bone in my body that would let me do such a thing.

So her boss, the "director of weddings" took over. All well and good ... until she sends me the wedding agenda thingy. And it's wrong. Location, time, enhancements we didn't and don't want. So I email her stating such. We've been volleying back and forth like this for about three weeks. Yesterday I was supposed to put down a 50% deposit. Didn't hear from her for three days. Get a revised agenda this morning and BAM. Still wrong. And not in small ways...  more like charging me triple for food, adding on odd fees I've never been told about.

It's seriously possible I'm just ultra-fried due to a ridiculous work schedule, but three weeks of revising and resending and waiting to see if maybe *this time* it'll be right is a bit absurd.

Who knows if you've got pearls of wisdom on this one. I think I really just need to be talked back from the ledge.

Also? No, I will not call her. I have a really ridiculous hatred of talking on the phone. I don't do it. Plus, seems better to keep shit in writing with her.

*****

I think you know it's time to get on the phone.

Call the coordinator you were working with originally, and say in a friendly, off-the-record tone of voice, "Will you go over this agenda with me? I'm having trouble communicating with your boss, and I'm kind of freaking out over here…."

Dan Martensen Portrait via Thunder In Our Hearts