FUCK YEAH, FLOWERS

Emily Thompson has just been crowned New York's "floral designer du jour."

Nobody who knows her expected any less.

I mean, I'd go for a tablescape of lady slipper orchids, maidenhair ferns, daffodils, crocuses, and dried beetles any day.

(Photo: Kirsten Luce for The New York Times)

What should my Mr. Bridesmaid wear?

Dear ESB,

I need some fashion advice. My fiance and I are having a pretty large wedding party. Eight groomsmen and 7 bridesmaids. Uhh...I know. He has a lot of friends and just couldn't part with any of them. Anyway, my dilemma right now is I have a male bridesmaid. He's been my friend forever and ever and I really wanted to include him. I've seen pictures of wedding parties where a male bridesmaid is involved and they are dressed like the groomsmen. I think it looks so funny in pictures….like a groomsmen didn't get the memo on where to stand.

Here's the wardrobe breakdown. So my ladies are picking out any hot ass navy blue dress of their choice and the men will be wearing grey pants with suspenders. The groom's will include a suit jacket. Now what should my Mr. Bridesmaid wear? Should he wear navy blue pants or different colored suspenders? Is my wedding party going to turn out way to matchy matchy? Uhh I hope not! Please help! 

Also, what should we call him all day? I think Mr. Bridesmaid might not go over well.

*****

The bridesMAN should wear a "hot ass" navy blue shirt. Without suspenders.

I think he'll appreciate being disassociated from the full-force a capella group you've got standing on the other side.

(Photo by Neil Krug via Ms. Mack via blushless)

Pop Quiz: How many wedding trends can you spot?

I count seven, but I'm sure I must be missing something.

Photos by welovepictures via 100LC

Please note: I wouldn't bother poking fun if the photos weren't gorg. You guys know that, right?

WHAT THE EFF DO I WEAR?!

Dear My Readers,

What do I wear to an April wedding in the Texas Hill Country?

I want to look uber cool, obviously, but without looking like I tried to look cool. And need to look SMEEOKIN hot because at least one of H's crazypants ex-girlfriends will be in attendance. But again, just sort of casually smokin hot. Like, "Oh, this? I just found this on the floor of my closet" kind of hot.

So. Would some form of t-shirt dress be too casual? (Like I care.)

Should I attempt to rock my snakeskin cowboy boots?

Would sequins be too much?

I'm lost now that Rob has killed all my romper fantasies. Please advise.

Love,
ESB

p.s. My budget is $17.

Photo: Cosmic Wonder via I'm Revolting via ermie + Houyhnhnm

how bout a bridesmaid's romper?

I can't believe how down on rompers you all are. I am determined to find a romper that EVERYONE loves.

(Twenty8Twelve at Shopbop)

Should I limit my number of bridesmaids?

Hi ESB,

I recently stumbled across your blog and I love it! I appreciate your candor and general badassishness. That being said, I have two questions for you:

I am having a simple backyard wedding with my man who I've been with for 5 years. He isn't much of a man's man, so he doesn't have a lot of guy friends to be groomsmen and I'm one of those anal people who think that the number of guys on his side should match the number of girls on mine. So far, we haven't invited anyone to be in the wedding party officially, but I have at least 4 or 5 ladies who I love and want to be a part of our wedding while he only has two guys to include. I have three brothers that could be added to his side, but I'd prefer they weren't, even though I was in their weddings. They won't mind, in fact, I think they'd rather not have to get a suit/tux and stand up front. I don't want to just throw somebody we don't care about on his side to make them equal, but I really would like our numbers to match.

The girls on my side know and love him just as well as they do me, so I could send a lady over to him, would that be weird? Or should I just limit my number of bridesmaids? I don't want to give these girls other stupid roles like candle lighting or poem reading, that just seems like a pity-invite. Am I being completely ridiculous and just let the numbers be uneven? Is 4 or 5 too many bridesmaids for a small backyard wedding? What do you think?

My second question is simpler. I love all the girls on my bridesmaid list, but none more so than another. I don't have any sisters or anyone who stands out as MOH material. Do I have to have a maid of honor? Do you have any suggestions for how to choose a MOH without offending the other girls in the bridal party?

Thanks,
Bridal Party Confused

*****

1. Yes, you are being ridiculous. And 4 or 5 is not too many bridesmaids. ELEVEN is too many bridesmaids.

2. No, you don't have to have a maid of honor.

p.s. It's actually "baddassedness." Unless you meant to imply that my badass was "ish." Which I know you didn't.

Photo by SAGA SIG via Charles Hall

Girl (You know it's true)

I'm digging this Girl by Band of Outsiders Froissè silk dress, even though "partially lined interior" should read: DEFINITELY REQUIRES A CAMISOLE.

Did they airbrush out the nipples, or what?

Via DailyCandy's Wedding Dress Roundup
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HEY DAILYCANDY WEDDING PPL, I'm not offended that you left me off your "favorite bloggers" list, even though you clearly scoured esb for dress ideas. Tots. Not. Offended.

Here's something new: AN STD DILEMMA

Dear ESB,

I think I might be an asshole. Here's my predicament: Our wedding is in October and being an overanxious bride I sent out our save the dates in January. Great, now it's off my to-do list. I'm an asshole though, because now I want to cut our guest list. We've recently taken a closer look at our list and there are people on there that I'm now thinking, 'why did we want to invite them?' It's not that we've had a falling out with anyone it's just that they're not so important to us that I really want them at our wedding...when we first made the guest list it was more about inviting "fun people" to make it a great party. But now in hindsight, I'd rather it be smaller and more intimate with just our really close family and dearest "fun people." 

Would I be a total ass to not send an invitation to a few people that I sent save the dates too?

Thanks for the brutal honesty!
Overly Eager Bride

*****

Dear OEB,

You fucked up. But don't let it ruin your wedding.

Let word get out (NOT by mail or email or facebook or any of that bullsh*t, but via word-of-mouth) that your plans have changed and you're doing an intimate thing with just your nearest + dearest.

If you piss a few people off, who cares? You don't want em there anyway.

xoxo,
ESB

Tanya Dziahileva* by Carlotta Manaigo, Mixte Magazine March 2009 via Charles Cherney via IAMHAUTECOUTURE.
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*Are you paying attention to the hair? This will be on the final exam.

Hello, FASHION-FORWARD Bridesmaids.....

(And, oh yeah, I guess the vintage-clad bride is okay too.)

I actually don't know if these ladies are her bridesmaids or just rad friends, but I am WAY INTO their shimmery, watercolor-y dresses.

Wren has a similar vibe going with their spring collection.

Shop here and here.

(Wedding photos by Becky Holladay via Once Wed via frolic!; Wren spring collection via Oh Joy! via Gilda)

How bout you get married in a romper?

(The turban is optional. I'm not a big fan of the whole turban thing.)

"Taupe Japanese polyester suiting romper for your inner Carole Lombard," by Vena Cava. Those ladies have a brand spanking new site up, which I for one am pretty excited about.

p.s. No new "If I were to get married now..................." for you today, but I've got somebody good lined up for next Friday. If you have any nominations, feel free to send em my way. The only rules are: must have been married five or more years + must not be a wedding blogger.

My wedding is not a popularity contest

Dear East Side Bride,

Honestly, I NEVER ever thought I would be the one to write you.... I love your blog, don't get me wrong, but I just never thought I would be in the middle of any wedding related drama.

We are getting married in the fall in a really small wedding (45 people) on the east coast, which is halfway between my current home (and my man's homeland) in Europe, and my home state of California. When we started doing the guest list, it was really easy for me to be cut-throat and decide who I want to celebrate with, it will be a long weekend together and more like a vacation with a party rather than a wedding. So obviously only people I would want to spend a fair amount of time with. I came up with some arbitrary rule of "if they haven't spoken with me in the last six months, they ain't coming." I thought that seemed fair. and still do.

I live halfway across the world from my family and friends and most of my very tight knit group of girlfriends make an effort to stay in contact and updated on my life. There was one girl who I was very close with at different points in my life, but in the last 8 years have only seen on occasion, and are not really involved in each other's lives. She is the type of girl who constantly has a boyfriend and ditched my group of girls in high school when the first cute boy came calling and has really only made appearances when she is between relationships. I resent that.

ANYWAY, She was not included in the first list, and quickly after I got engaged she wrote me a facebook message with congratulations... but I still think that doesn't really count for my six month rule. I made this clear to my friends who talk to her, and was told she was crying after she heard the news because she was so happy... it seems really fake to me. None of my family or friends were emotional, and neither was I, so that seems like a heap of nonsense. We were home in California for the holidays and she accosted me and asked why she had not received an invite to the engagement party we were having, and I told her she was welcome to come if she wanted, and she did. She wasn't exactly nice to me, nor did she even say hello to my boyfriend at the party until the end. It was awkward.

Now she writes me a facebook message again asking when the date is because she needs to request the time off and buy her plane ticket. I was horrified. That seems wildly inappropriate to me, but maybe I am the bitch? I realize it is ONE person as I assume she would come alone, and it should not be a big deal. But i feel like she only cares because she wants to feel included, like it is some weird high school popularity contest. I am at a total loss and my friends are split on her being a crazy drama queen and her being genuinely happy for me. I am at a total loss here and could REALLY use some advice from you and your readers!!

Sincerely,
A girl who HATES drama

p.s. we haven't even sent out invites yet. only save the dates, and I didn't mail her one. Because, I don't have her email, phone number or address.

I know this probably seems clear, I don't know if it is worth losing a friend over. or causing drama since we aren't close, but i kind of just think she is a bitch and will make this a much bigger problem than it is. I also heard she was upset that SHE is not the one getting married... since she has had so many boyfriends, and I have not, that she figured she would be the first.

HELP! I need perspective.

*****

I almost put this up on mmohiac, what with the facebook messages and the crying and the friends taking sides, but you really don't need a thousand crazypantses weighing in. And anyway, I couldn't justify it. You know, since this girl is not your maid of honor.

AREN'T YOU GLAD SHE'S NOT YOUR MAID OF HONOR?

Don't invite her. Period. Done. End of story.

(Freja Beha Erichsen by Rafael Stahelin for Vogue Korea September 2010 via Paper Mode via Blushless)

more barrettes PLEEZ. and thank you.

Inspired by The Curve of Forgotten Things, a short film directed by Todd Cole in collaboration with Rodarte The Queens of the Barrette (and starring Elle Fanning), fieldguided put together a terrif French barrette round-up.

If you can't have one that's hand-carved and sprayed in gold (or are they HAND-CARVED OUT OF GOLD?) go with something tortoise shell-y for sure.

No Swarovski Crystals. Ever.

(Images via NOWNESS via fieldguided via Jazzy McG)

Spring Shopping for the Groom

There's a good wedding-y* men's shopping guide over on Refinery29 today.

I especially like these Heutchy bucks, and the J. McLaughlin silk print bow tie.

_______________________________
*Okay, some of it is wedding-y. I see weddings everywhere.

For the Shotgun Bride

Hey ESB,

I am getting married in a few months and I'm looking for a dress that's short, not too fancy, and maybe kinda 50s or 60s looking. I have a lot of tattoos, and would prefer to have something with a little sleeve (no spaghetti straps or strapless) to keep the less wedding-appropriate tattoos concealed. I don't want to spend a lot either. I'm also pregnant, so the dress needs to be somewhat forgiving and have some boob room. I'll be at that not-sure-if-you're-pregnant-or-fat stage at the wedding... 16 weeks pregnant. Here is the dress I've been thinking of getting, but it's not the most flattering.

Could you or your readers point me in the direction of some amazing dresses? I am lost on what to wear!

Help!

Sincerely,
Shotgun Bride

*****

Hey SB,

I'm gonna go ahead and ignore the 50's/60's request (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz) because I just found this Haute Hippie dress, and it is SO PERFECT for that is-she-pregnant-or-is-she-just-getting-fat phase. Bonus: You can show off those boobs!

Whoopsie. You said you didn't want to spend a lot of money. Maybe this is for a different shotgun bride.

Just don't buy the BCBG dress, okay? On anyone with a tummy it would be, as Celia says, no bueno.

xoxo,
esb

Happy Tuesday

There's a new Dear ESB up on 100 Layer Cake this morning, in which I attempt to offer ideas for a Lady Gaga-esque bachelorette party.

(Everything I know about Gaga I got from Google yesterday afternoon. Pls feel free to weigh in with more pertinent suggestions.)

David Bowie, Aladdin Sane (1973) by Brian Duffy via Creative Review

HAIR WOES

Dear Eastsidebride,

I had been feeling quite smug and delighted with myself as wedding planning so far has been breezy but have come across a major stumbling block that I need your help with!!

Am wearing this dress by Elizabeth Dye in four weeks to my wedding. Fell in love with it instantly and as I'm a ballet dancer it just seemed like kismet that it was named Giselle. Shoes, rings, honeymoons, menus and even guest lists haven't been a problem but am recently starting to feel like the hair issue may get the better of me.

I have always had quite bold hair that just won't do what it's told. It's long and blonde-ish and resembles a lions mane and not in a cool way. It's pretty much the bane of my life! at work I leave it down, shove it up in a bun and generally ignore it but it's only starting to dawn on me now that I should figure out what the hell to do with it soon as there will be photos (ugh) and people looking at me (double ugh). My mom insists that I have to wear it up because otherwise it will ruin the line of the dress or some such nonsense. I do take her point though that I don't want to be at it all day trying to tame it. Basically I just want to know what to do with it so that I can tick it off my damn list and not have to think I have wonky hair on the day!

Things to consider

-not a fan of flowers/buns/hairbands on the side of the head. the lack of symmetry makes me feel lop-sided and a little disturbed.

-I have a fear of hairdressers so nothing too drastic (I know I know I did threaten to shave it!)

Please help me so that I can go back to feeling smug and practicing drinking champagne!

*****

Would you PRETTY PLEASE wear a big sexy ballerina bun on top of your head?

Martha Stewart endorsed the look months ago (and then of course what's-her-name tried to rock it on Project Runway) but I haven't seen a real bride knock it out of the park.

p.s. duh.

UM. Really?

Tank dress (if we can call it that) made in Los Angeles by Raquel Allegra.  

After I defended you, LA.

For Japan with Love

Tomorrow I'll be joining 100 Layer Cake and others in a Blogger's Day of Silence.

I've been feeling a bit frivolous, running around, going on with my life, blogging about weddings for fuck's sake, when such enormous things are going on in the world. I'll be on set tomorrow, so it's not a full-on day of silence for me, but I will be off the blogs/twitter trying to have a more thoughtful day than usual.

My heart goes out to anyone who's been affected by the earthquakes.

(Help Japan poster by W+K Studio, net proceeds to benefit the Red Cross relief efforts)

Lost Love and Los Angeles

Hi.

I trust you, stranger, and need some sense. I seem to remember that you exited a longish relationship and moved to LA for grad school?

In September, if not before, I'll be moving to LA from Boston to start a PhD program, and my boyfriend of 3 years doesn't want to come with me. Or be my boyfriend after I leave. I'm sad about it, but not sad enough to forget the occasional "this-isn't-the-right-guy-for-me" and "I-don't-want-him-to-come-with-me" feelings I've had over the last year.

So I should be feeling relieved, which I do a little bit, and excited for an LA adventure, which I do a very little bit. But two things are in my way. One: fear that I will never find love and never get married and not be able to have kiddos and blah blah blah cliche freakout. Two: I'm a midwest girl that has found Boston difficult to adjust to...how can I not hate LA?

Any assurances?

*****

My dear stranger,

I can't promise you'll meet Mr. Amazeballs and get married and have babies and all that shit. Maybe you will. But maybe you'll meet Mr. Amazeballs and live in sin for the rest of your life, sans babies. Or maybe you'll meet a series of Mr. Amazeballses and have a baby on your own.

DON'T FIXATE ON IT.

Kick some ass. Get your PhD. Have fun in LA. (LA is much more fun than Boston, I promise. And the people are much friendlier.)

As I told Liv,* you'll only meet Mr. ____ when you're not looking for him.

And whatever happens, you're better off on your own than with the wrong guy.

xoxo,
esb

(Downtown Los Angeles, as viewed from the top of Griffith Park, from the feaverish etsy shop via Jessie Atkinson)
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*Who, incidentally, met a new guy, fell in love, and moved in with him the instant she got to London.

So many good things happening at once

1) I ♥ Kirsten Dunst.

2) I ♥ Band of Outsiders.

3) I am a sucker for polaroids.

4) These photos were taken at The Huntington Botanical Gardens in Pasadena, which I just visited for the first time with my dad and his lady. The cactus garden, in particular, is fabulous.

4a) You can get married at said gardens for only $100,000! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

(Band of Outsiders Spring 2011 via DESIGNLOVEFEST via Fashion Gone Rogue)