Seeking: SEQUINS!

Dear ESB,

my reception dress is Sara Seven's Golden Lights - see pic.

I need help finding a matching cardigan, as the party is in december and i will be cold. looked everywhere for ivory/cream/sequin but no luck yet. your help is most appreciated...

thank you xoxo

*****

How bout GOLD OMBRE SEQUINS?

Too much??

Shop Topshop

Betrayed Bridesmaid Backing Out

Dear ESB,

I'm in a pickle. Here's the situation, my "friend" from high school is getting married next month and asked me to be her bridesmaid a while back. At the time I was financially in an okay place (I'm a University student...so basically I could afford to eat at the time) so I said yes. Since that time my life has drastically changed, I'm five states away, and broke. 

That being said, the bride and I were friends for about a year or so during high school...but NEVER close (i.e. we only hung out amongst other company) and after we graduated we didn't speak whatsoever, I actually didn't even hear from her until she was engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid. On top of all of that, I was in her town last week for my grandfather's funeral and the bride plus some other friends of ours met up one night...first off she didn't even say hello to me when I arrived nor offer her condolences and secondly she and the 'maid of honor' didn't say ONE WORD to me they merely talked amongst themselves...and when I left there was a simple wave goodbye.

She bought my dress (however was given 20K from parents) and jewelry but I'm really not feeling like putting myself in a hard place to support someone who obviously doesn't give two shits about me! 

Morally I feel kind of bad....should I?

-Betrayed Bridesmaid

*****

You know what, ladypants? Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

Back out gracefully and don't give that b*tch another thought.


YAY flag via Kate @ Wit + Delight via Tina Roth Eisenberg -- does anyone know who took the photo? I did find a couple of DIY's here and here.

Trying to be a diplomatic bride

Dear ESB, 

I'm unsure as to what my role is in "encouraging" and "supporting" my FH. We've been together for a long time (7 years) and are pretty relaxed and trusting with each other. When we finally decided to get married, I was under the assumption that we would continue communicating to our family the way we had always been. He talks to his family and makes decisions around his family, and I talk to my family and make decisions about my family. Specifically about who is invited and being realistic about maybe some rocky relationships. We decided to split it- his family will have 40 slots and my family will have 40 slots. Very diplomatic in my view. 

Now, this doesn't mean that I'm not friendly with his family- I am, but I never knew that weddings bring out the worst in people- often times... your family. My future MIL has been hounding me about who we are inviting from his side. I keep telling her that is something that FH will ultimately decide and she should discuss the matter with him. I thought I handled the matter pretty well, and my FH knows that this will be a touchy subject so I think he's prepped. 

But then came the bridal party question. Who will be in the bridal party? 

We have been together for so long, and have so many friends that have seen us through different points in our lives that we have approached the bridal party in the same way that we approached the guest list - equal number, and autonomy- I will pick my group and he will pick his. Now I'm sorry if I go back and forth in timeline, but it helps to explain this situation. FH was in the military and deployed several times to several hot zones- hence he's pretty close to his military friends. He also has a brother that he's friendly with, and they're.... "close," but if FH has an emotional problem, he's not going to call him. And he has a best friend that he's very close to, who I have grown close to over the years too. He is that close that we wouldn't consider a wedding without him. 

FH has made a decision for a bridal party of 3, but has not picked the best man. Future MIL has been demanding that I influence FH's decision to making his brother his best man. I am honestly trying to be impartial, but I can't deny that I would feel more like the best man should be his best friend. He knows us as a couple, has grown with us... and frankly he's a better speaker (best man speech), more responsible (I know he won't lose the rings) and would be able to support FH better (for whatever FH would need support for). 

However, I know that it's traditional that if you have a brother you make it your brother, and the brother did make my FH best man at his wedding. I have been telling future MIL that it's not my call, and that it's something FH will have to decide and that I will support whatever decision makes him happy but she's pretty insistent that I speak to him.

I feel like a broken record, but I'm wondering if I should be more firm and tell her to back off. I have told FH about this, and he has spoken to her. He's actually been pretty clear with her that it's not my call and that he will make the decision and he's still thinking about it. But it's like it's going in one ear and out the other. 

I'm really trying to be inclusive with her, and keep her updated and involved (she has no daughters and she really wants to be involved in our lives) but if she's going to be this pushy over everything... I'd rather just give her the invitation, say "show up" and keep her as far away from the plans as possible. If FH wants to update her, then he can, but communication with me will be done. 

Or am I completely in the wrong? Should I be encouraging him to pick his brother? Something about that seems.... wrong, but I recognize that I could be biased. 

What do you think? 

Thanks, 
Trying to be a diplomatic bride

*****

a) you're right, this is not your decision to make, b) your FMIL needs to step the fuck off, and c) YOUR FH NEEDS TO FUCKING PICK SOMEONE ALREADY. or: pick no one. there's no reason he has to have a best man.


Teresa Oman by Jason Lee Parry for Human Being Journal via Fashion Gone Rogue

since you asked.....

This is my holiday "dress." (Center, coral.)

I've been lusting after Raquel Allegra for three or four years now.... ever since I saw one of her tie-dyed dresses in the window at the old Mohawk General Store. (Which was on Mohawk, incidentally.) That dress used to torment me. It was so well lit, and so gorgeously ACID GREEN, I could see it from my car every time I drove by.

So you'd better believe I snatched this one up when I found it at Wasteland last week. NWT, people!!

Did I just turn into one of those assholes who brags about her resale finds? Oh well.


p.s. The model seems to be rocking it with some sort of leggins (not to be confused with "legginGs") but I think I'll go with jeans. That shit is SHEER.

Good Morning, Peoplefriends!

I will now be attempting to make quick-pickled radishes. Pretty, aren't they?

As I mentioned on Twitter, we're going to a super fun, halfway vegan, semi-glut free, verrrrrrrrrrrry hipster t-giving dinner, and I wanted to bring something a little unusual.

I found two recipes (1, 2) that look promising, but I can't decide whether to split the difference or make two separate batches....

I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED.





Photo courtesy of She Simmers

Ye Olde Holiday Dress Roundup

Here are my favorite reader suggestions from here and here. Plus one I threw in just because.

Top row (left to right): Black Velvet Helga Dress by To Be Adored ($244), Alexander Wang Asymmetric Silk Dress ($305 down from $675), Alice + Olivia Colorblock Dress ($295), Cape Sleeve Wrap Dress from Erin Fetherston ($148 down from $295)

Bottom row (left to right): Long Dress from Mango ($100), Embellished Maxi Dress from Dorothy Perkins ($238), Nicole Miller Stretch Crepe Pleated Dress ($355), Asos Wiggle Dress ($74)


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is enough commerce for this week. YEESH.

Stay tuned for my adventures in Thanksgiving pickling.

these puppies are ON SALE!

Get em Get em

(Thanks, Ms K!)

Might as well declare Loeffler Randall the official shoe of ESB.

am i crazy?

or: would this be an adorable wedding cardigan??

Mohawk General Store via anabela

Seeking: a dress for a MOTHEREFFING MASQUERADE BALL

Dear ESB,

My husband's company party is in a few weeks and represents a rare opportunity for me to get to play dress up (which is basically my favorite thing to do ever). It's formal attire (cocktail dress/gown for ladies, dark suit/tux for boys) and it's going to be a MOTHEREFFING MASQUERADE BALL which I'm sure only I am excited about.

And I just can't find a freaking dress that I like.

So here's the rub:

I'm about a size 12/14 and SUPER CURVY. (Hourglass, boobs for days, but my legs are like tree trunks). So I like dresses that are form fitting, floor length, and 3/4 length sleeve or long sleeves (I have to be able to wear a bra with it). And I'm hoping to keep it sub $300. Basically, if this Roberto Cavalli weren't a gajillion dollars.... 

I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Maybe something like this, but a little less Designing Women? 

Double points for anything in animal print. And I'm not opposed to a very pouffy skirt either.

I'm willing to accept the fact that my tastes run a little grandma-lives-in-Miami-and-hasn't-abandoned-the-80's-yet if it means I can find something I feel and look awesome in.

Oh and I have short, asymmetrical-ish hair and I wear big earrings with everything.

*****

You guys up for more shopping??

There are so many good suggestions over here, I figure I'll just squeeze you dry and then maybe put together a holiday dress roundup ;)


Photo at top by Mert & Marcus for Vogue Paris, October 2010

Seeking: a non-slutty red bustier.....

Hey ESB--

I'm in a good bind.

My boyfriend has this cunt of an ex-wife that I've never met.

I'll be meeting her for the first time at a really fancy holiday wine party on December 2nd, and there's no better time to "highlight our differences" than going all-out-holiday-sexy here.

She's got great girl-next-door qualities, and I've got great glamour-puss qualities, which I'd like to capitalize on for this event. I'd love to be so gorgeously sexy she pouts all evening. She was just such a twat and sore loser when I started dating him that I'd like to rub it in her face that he deserves and has better than the way she behaved.

I've shit for online shopping. I was really hooked on the idea of a sensual green velvet dress (red hair, fair skin, hourglass shape), but couldn't find any I loved. I found a gorgeous vintage 50's, white tulle skirt in a thrift store here, but could only think to pair it with a red checked shirt or bright red cardigan, both of which go wonderfully casual, but maybe not exactly the end-result I'm hoping for. I thought about white skirt, red lipstick, and a non-slutty red bustier.....but does that even exist??

I want to make her seethe. I want to really step inside this holiday sex-kitten bombshell alter ego, and vamp it up to a T.

If you've seen any killa holiday outfits out there, I'd love some help.

Love,
Lady X

*****


SLOW DOWN THERE, LADYPANTS.

Stop trying to be such a glamour-puss sexy sensual sex-kitten.

If I were the ex-wife and I saw you decked out in some kind of red bustier Mrs. Claus pin-up outfit, I'd think, "Man, is she insecure."

The key in this situation (as in all situations) is not to look like you're trying too hard.




K, now who feels like shopping??

Why should TALL GIRLS get their own line of dresses? (Sponsored by Dream-ers)

I am ashamed to admit I never realized how hard you tall ladies have it.

You got harassed in the high school cafeteria? You shop in the men's section? You can't buy a floor-length dress off the rack?? I mean, it makes total sense. It just never occurred to me.

Enter Yanique, of Dream-ers (formerly Trendsetter Vintage):

So why the heck should tall girls get their own line of dresses? Well....(scratching my head).....why the hell not? Us tall girls have to raid the men’s section to find clothes that are long enough, especially in the arms and legs. But men don’t wear dresses. (Okay, men don’t usually wear dresses.) There are no dresses in the big and tall store that we sneak into while pretending to shop for our other half.

I vividly remember my early years in high school, walking my 6-foot self into the cafeteria, only to hear..... “would you please pull your shoes up....or push your pants down?” followed by a hysterical outburst. Those morons were so cruel, until I discovered that my gangly teenage legs looked fierce in a mini skirt, and that’s all I wore, rain or shine. That was my reality for too long.

OK, I say “was,” because many designers are starting to pay attention to the tall minority, but only a handful of them get it right. The majority of them make you want to run screaming back to the big and tall store, their clothes are just so ugly and so grandma. Tall girls can find hope at Zara and J.Crew for separates. But darn it, what about when you need to go to a black-tie affair, or what if you want to wear a non-conventional wedding dress, where do you go, besides to a specialty seamstress? I can’t be the only tall girl who wants to wear a floor length gown, or a dress with sleeves that are actually long enough. What about a jumpsuit that doesn’t instantly give you camel toe?

By now, you may think I am nothing more than a drama-queen, and while I’ve been labeled that many times over, I promise......no drama on this one.

I love this fashion business a bit too much, so I quit my long stint as a manager at Chanel in order to focus on designing a line that tall women can wear with pride. The DREAMERS line, as clichéd as it sounds, means tall girls no longer need to dream of dresses that fit. The core pieces in the line are my vintage-inspired lace dresses. 

Many unconventional brides have already discovered these, and are ordering them for their weddings. We also make limited-edition dresses, based on fabrics we buy only in limited quantities. My intention is to keep styles exclusive (an idea gleaned from selling vintage clothing for so long).

All the Trendsetter Vintage pieces are available “off the rack,” BUT, we strongly encourage each buyer to send us her measurements. We then customize the dress using those measurements, so the dress fits perfectly when it arrives. This means (and I know I’m cheating here) even if you are not a fellow tall girl, you can still wear one of our dresses. I have some of the best seamstresses in LA working with me, and our turnaround time is exceptionally fast. They love what they do, with the only occasional complaint being, “the dresses are too long, the patterns don’t fit on my table.”

Chances are, if you are a fellow tall girl reading this, I won’t have to twist your arm. Because your reality is mine. You know why the hell we tall girls need our own line of dresses.

(All dresses pictured are from Yanique's DREAMERS line, $150-300)

I'm so into this.

I'm having a chain moment.

Chain chain chain chain chain.

Vertigo Necklace, Silver Ombre Plankton Bracelet + Ombre Fountain Earrings from Melbourne Metal Collective

cushion stuffing (for brains)

I just spotted this photo from Miss Moss in my google reader and thought, "Into The Gloss did one of those beauty-secrets features with a HUNDRED YEAR OLD WOMAN? RAD."

Miss Moss.

Into The Gloss.



I am spending too much time on the internets.


Anyhoo. These photos of Gisèle d’Ailly van Waterschoot van der Gracht (publisher/painter/long-liver and long-name-haver) and her Amsterdam apartment are lovely, even if there's no eye cream involved.

Photos by Jordi Huisman for FvF via Miss Moss

Dear ESB: Should I spend 5K on this dress?

I’m hoping that you will be able to help me out on this search. After trying on about 50 dresses and hating the way I look in almost all of them (big tush, hate poof, hate satin, no bows, no tulle) – I found this dress that I can’t stop thinking about. The photo is of me, because I can’t find this dress on the interwebs yet, and please excuse my bra peeking out.

I’d buy it tomorrow – but with tax/alterations/etc it’s around $4500. My incredible mother (who, along with my father, offered to pay for half of our wedding) wants to buy my dress for me as a present – and I just can’t ask her to spend almost $5K on this.

Again, there are no runway front-on photos, apparently it’s “too new” or something for Marchesa (me, jeans and t-shirt loving girl, in Marchesa, really?) but it is light, and flowy with a natural waist and very little embellishment, and the draping of the material, down the length of the dress makes me feel tall and that my huge butt is not quite as overwhelming – and also makes me feel really special and pretty and lovely. (It seems so simple, natural waist, sweetheart neck, romantic and light - but I'm just not seeing it out there!)

Do I just keep looking? Please help!

Thanks a million,
notgoodatshopping

*****

Marchesa Schmarchesa. You look great in that dress, but I damn sure wouldn't spend $4500 on it.

How bout this Liz Dye (for $1200)?

Silk shantung and English TULLE!!!

shooz.

I'm pinning my favorite reader suggestions over here.

Just fyiz.

Accessorize Me

Dear ESB,

I'm the girl who commented on this post, bought the aaamazing Mara Hoffman dress, and then disappointingly really did not like it on! But, as luck will have it I then found my dress whilst helping my mother look for a dress.

I'm getting married in London next summer. We are having a wedding ceremony in a Georgian space, which is now all white and quite minimalist, followed by a big party in a pub. We suspect as the pub will close at one am, that we will have to head over to our regular late night spot (which also happens to be where we met) which is as close as London can come to a dive bar, and is open until 4am. I'm hoping this will give you a feel for what we've planned.

I'll be wearing this dress, and I thought I was wearing these shoes: 

I'm stuck for ideas on necklace/bracelet/earrings etc. I love long earrings, big necklaces and I never wear bracelets. My engagement ring is yellow gold with a cognac diamond. Although I know what I like, I'm kind of terrible at accessorising and I always over or under-do it. Can you and your committed commenters help?

Finally, I'm not certain about the shoes - although I'm a heels kind of a girl, I know I won't be able to dance the night away in these so I'm looking for something a bit lower to change into. My budget is probably £600 (maybe $800ish) as I know I'll wear them again, along with the dress. I think I want something that won't look too far from the original shoes, but I'm open to ideas and opinions! I liked these but I'm worried that they are a totally different look...

Ahh I don't know. What do you think?

Thanks!
With shoes, without accessories.

*****

I think those shoes are FUGLY. Both pairs. (Okay, maybe the Louboutins aren't fugly, exactly. They look like fancy lady lawyer pumps.)

If you've got $800 to spend, why not go Lanvin?

These snakeskin pumps are just the thing to set off your dress.

And then do something like these dangly chain earrings from Macha.

(If they're anything like my Russian chain ring, they are SEE-LAMMIN in person.)

I FOUND YOUR WEDDING EARRINGS

Turquoise safety pins? Come. On.

L'Agence at Barneys

It's never bloody simple.

Dear ESB, I have a dilemma.

I shall set the scene for you first: 

We are getting married in 6 months time in an idyllic country church in a small village in Somerset where my FH grew up. The reception will be held on his parents' substantial rural gorgeous property (think thatched farmhouse, extensive grounds and gardens, large barn for dining). We are deliriously, happily in love and looking forward to celebrating with 80ish of our close friends and family.

I was going to have zero bridesmaids, I'm really anti-traditional wedding protocol and there will be no speeches just music, dancing and lots of alcohol. The thought of a hen do makes me want to curl up and die. I am a recently retired (read turned 30) DJ and the sight of an L plate and a veil entering the club is ensued by an icy grip on your heart as you come to terms with the knowledge that at some point in the night you are going to be asked to play something truly, truly shit. BUT I do have some wonderful friends and FH has a three year old well behaved niece so I have myself a wedding party...plan number 1 failed. Included are my two best friends, my two teen cousins and said small one. This is when I started to spiral into difficulty, even though we both wanted this to be as simple and easy as possible- it never bloody is.

The father of one of my teen bridesmaids is my ex-uncle, through a now-broken-up marriage. To put it bluntly, he is a twat. A BMW driving, twice bankrupted, wife-beating, lying, cheating, charming, troublemaking, double glazing salesman. My Aunt is still in close contact with him (WHY), as is (obviously) his daughter- who thinks he is a saint and doesn't know the half of it. Now they expect it as a given that he will be invited- I mean what the fuck??? Why on earth would I want the man who had a punch up at his own wedding, and started a fight at my other aunts wedding at my own sacred nuptials- the guy has a track record.

My Ma hates him and is on my side. My FH's parents are amazing, seriously fucking brilliant refined gentle country people and I love them and never want to expose them to this low-life. But my Aunt is Sicilian and can be really scary and hold a grudge and I have visions of her pulling my cousin out the wedding if I don't comply. I've tested the waters and talked to other members of my family, stating that there is no way I'm having him there and they have stuck up for him saying he's changed and is cool now. He is not, I saw him a while back, he was drunk and unpleasant, but not as bad as I remember.

Now I'm starting to think maybe we should just invite him to avoid all the tension (as I said my Aunt is fucking scary and should keep him in line) do I risk it just to have an easy life?

Right now I'm burying my head in the sand and concentrating on the smug, warm feeling I get when I remember that my dressmaker, who owns a little vintage shop in a nearby village and whom I stumbled on by chance, just casually dropped into conversation at my last fitting that she has worked for both Galliano and Dior. This is a way better feeling then the former.

Yours Faithfully,
Dirtylittlerockgirl

*****

Come on, littlerockgirl. Did you lose your backbone when you turned 30??

Don't invite the twat.

Photo by Cass Bird for Muse Magazine

How many wedding photos should I post on Facebook?

Hello ESB!

How does one know what's an appropriate number of wedding pictures to post on facebook? Things to consider:

1. I don't want to be obnoxious. So that means I'll probably have to keep the number of portraits down.

2. We don't have a functioning wedding website we could send.

3. I don't want to email our proofing site from the photog to all 150 people there to look at over a thousand pictures, most of which are of just us, or worse yet, just me.

4. I do REALLY love all of our wedding pictures! Our photographer did an AWESOME job! I want to show them off!

5. Everyone keeps asking to see them. Isn't it better on FB where they can look at them at their own leisure without any obligation to comment or acknowledge that they even looked?

Maybe I should already know the answer to this and haven't seen it yet?

Thanks for the help,
ObnoxiousFacebookBride

*****

WHY ARE YOU STILL ON FACEBOOK

Photo by Louie Banks via Fucking Young!

speaking of lady tuxedos....

There are some terrif options on ebay. Such as this Katayone Adeli jacket, currently $125 with 3 days left to bid.


[Warning: Be sure to read the fine print. Don't be fooled by a "Balmain" jacket that was made in Korea....]