I have a present for you

Next time you're staring at your face in the mirror and POKING AT IT and getting all down on yourself, click on over to Celebrity Close-Up.

Go ahead and try to tell me that shot of Gwyneth doesn't lift your mood.

DO WE LIKE THESE? (Pls vote)

Nicole just suggested em for our minimalist, and I honestly can't tell if they are genius or hideous.

It's such a fine line.

Shoes by Chie Mihara

How do you know when to stop?

Hello ESB,

Accessorizing is a strange concept to me because I'm a minimalist. But the dress.needs.something.
It just does - I can tell.

So, I bought this from Twigs and Honey and I am thinking of a necklace or bracelet, too, but then...is that too much? Shoes are an issue too. It's a garden party in Sedona, so stilettos and everything I like will sink into the mud, no?

The real question is: how do you know when you have too many accessories. I don't want to overshadow the dress, or make myself look like a "royal."

Also, is it just me, or is everyone out there looking exactly the same? blah...

Thanks ever so.

*****

Stilettos will strand you in the middle of the lawn (or should I say the xeriscape?), but a CUTE pair of chunkier heels like these suede See by Chloes ought to be safe.

Bonus: You won't look like every other bride coming down the pike.

As for "How do you know when to stop?" I'd say as soon as you find yourself asking the question, it is TIME.

on the Catbird set

I can't tell you how much fun we all had making our short.

Can this man rock jewelry, or can he rock jewelry??

I didn't even notice the heart tattoo when I cast him. (And by "cast him," I mean..... accosted him on the Lower East Side two days before the shoot and made him PROMISE TO CALL ME. Thank fuck he did.)

We ladies almost died when he started trying on wedding bands.

Funny story.

Teepee's mama told me that bananas were her favorite food, so all day we kept trying to use bananas to get Teepee to jump up on the bed and interrupt the smooching.

No go.

That is one polite chihuahua.

It was finally a little bit of leftover BEEF from my nacho lunch that did the trick.

And Anya is adorable, no? I knew we had the right girl when H's friends kept asking him if they could see ALL THE FOOTAGE.

Photos by Cary Tijerina

Sexiest diamond commercial EVARRRRRRR

Or: Short film featuring the sexiest fucking jewelry you've ever seen??

MOOD PIECE?

Whatever you want to call it, I directed it, and I am pret-ty pleased with the way it turned out.

Featuring Anya Skidan, Matthew Green, and Teepee
Cinematography by Jon Edward Miller
Hair + Makeup by Charlie Taylor
Flowers by Amy Merrick
Music by Oceanographer
Jewelry, Props + Styling by Catbird, of course. (Head on over there to shop the video.)

fieldguided + Scout & Catalogue

How gorg are these photos Anabela + Geoff took for the new Scout & Catalogue lookbook?

I'm suddenly feeling pretty good about my decision to dig a pair of cutoffs out of the ol going-to-Goodwill bag and put them in my GOING-TO-BAJA-THIS-WEEKEND duffel.

If only I had that scarf to take to Baja.

this is how they do it in NEW ZEALAND

It was sweet to see that all the way across the other side of the world (we are in NZ) that like me, you and your readers doing whatever they wanted and not sticking to the previous wedding rules.

We had a 10min ceremony in an altar that was a heart of oranges, the bridesmaids picked their own dresses, one I didn't even know about until the day (she was 38 wks preg!!), there was no sit down formal dinner instead we had tapas created by family...I grew all the produce for the menu and my cousin slayed us a deer for the venison, my Dad caught the fish and crayfish....the whole day was all about the food, the drink and dancing....which we did to a blues band, complete with my mother in law lunging with her husband of 53 years to a strokes cover (magic)... following up with an impromptu drum and bass party at our house til 5am.

Best wedding ever.

*****

Who knew you could have fresh-slayed everything AND great shoes??

(Photo by Greta Kenyon of Vela Images)

So.... What's a wedding budget?

Dear ESB,

Ok I'm engaged. Now what to do?

The man and myself have trouble understanding what a wedding budget means (both our first try at this thing). We have trouble understanding the concept of a budget in the first place to be honest. 

We are not poor but we are sometimes struggling under students loans and the high cost of life in The Netherlands. 

Any tips and tricks about budgeting? I'm not talking about DYI our cake-toppers but really something to help us figure out what should cost what. Is there a website, a book or someone to call?

Thanks for your help.

[insert a nickname here... Brokeback Bride?]

*****

There is no rule about what should cost what.

First, you need to decide how much money you're comfortable spending. This could be based on how much $$ you've got in savings (yeah right, I know), how much you think you can save, how much you can finagle on credit cards (not recommended, but it's been known to happen), how much family members have offered to contribute, or any combination of these things.

Then you get to think about what your priorities are.

Here's a wedding budget worksheet from Real Simple, which is worth glancing at, if only so you can gleefully x out things like "flower girl's buds and basket" and "valet parking." Pls ignore the helpful "Reception (50 percent)," "Attire (10 percent)," "Flowers and Decorations (10 percent)," etc, estimations.

There is NO RULE that says only 10% of your budg may be allotted to attire (or that you have to spend 10% on flowers), so don't let anyone tell you different.

If you want to get married in a SEEEEEEEEEELLAMIN dress at city hall and go for fish and chips afterward? Awesome.

Meg's brand new book, A Practical Wedding, has several examples of real-live wedding budgets, which are super down-to-earth and helpful. Such as:

$5,000, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS · Ashley and Zach LaMotte got married in a simple civil ceremony...

INVITATIONS: $25
Made by the bride, using materials she had on hand.

RECEPTION: $1,000
Lunch for twenty-two at a restaurant, including lots of wine, dessert, and tip.

WEDDING LICENSE AND VENUE: $50
The Chicago Cultural Center, where the City of Chicago performs civil ceremonies on Saturday mornings (and you're allowed to bring twenty or so people to cheer you on!).

PHOTOGRAPHER: $250
Two hours of coverage.

FLOWERS: $0
The bride and her mom made the bouquet and her husband's boutonniere out of vintage fabric flowers they already owned.

DRESS: $1,082
A splurge! She fell in love with the dress and later sold it for $500. Ashely said, "I loved that dress every dollar of that $1,082, and I love the dishwasher we bought with the $500 we got when we sold it, too."

SUIT AND HAT: $375
A three-piece suit and hat that the groom loves and has worn multiple times since the wedding.

WEDDING RINGS: $2,100
Why not splurge a little? They'll wear them for a lifetime.

See? That wasn't so hard.

Note: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, sign up for The Knot in order to utilize their budgeting tools. You'll get a never-ending stream of "177 days until The Big Day" emails, and then as soon as your fucking wedding is over they hit you with THE NEST.

One Dollar Camera by Won Park via The Design Inspiration

this would have made an awesome wedding

I knoooooooooooooow. Stop it Portland. What, are you jealous of Brooklyn?

But I am a sucker for mason jars + men with with beards.

Photographs by Laura Dart + Amos Lanka via Dart Photography via all the mountains

WHAT COLOR DO I WEAR TO MY REHEARSAL DINNER?

Are brides supposed to wear white/ivory/cream/whatever to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner? Is this not a little... redundant? My friends/bridesmaids keep suggesting these dresses that I would categorize as "Vegas Wedding Dresses" - short, "flirty and fun!" white cocktail dresses.

What's protocol here? Does it matter? Suggestions?

*****

DON'T WEAR WHITE TO YOUR REHEARSAL DINNER.

I thought you guys all knew how I feel about this.

Let your guests foam at the mouth imagining you in that white dress. Don't show them, like, a cuter version of it the night before.

Dior Couture by Patrick Demarchelier via Fashion Gone Rogue

Meet My Chukkas

Can a woman who owns a caftan *also* rock chukka boots?

The answer is a resounding YES.

My friend Katherine (of Pierrepont Hicks fame) asked me if I'd like to test drive a pair of chukkas from @mrsphicks, her most excellent new line of menswear-inspired footwear for women.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY ever since my desperate attempt to get a pair of free Bensimons.


I know. Sad.

Anyhoo. My chukkas arrived two weeks ago, and I basically haven't taken them off since.

Srsly. They are now MOLDED TO MY FEET. So fucking comf.

I've been hoping for a little rain to test em out in, but it keeps clearing up on me before I ever make it out of the house. I guess I'll have to report back.

Katherine linked me over to this "Save Your Suede" handbook, but she's not making any guarantees about water-proofed-ness. Me, I plan to rough it. The rain doesn't come down all that hard around here. And only wusses protect the suede on their CHUKKAS.

The shoes themselves are guaranteed for life. If you find a defect or in two years the soles wear a little too much, you can send them to straight back to @mrsphicks herself and she will fix em up. No charge.

p.s. Burnt orange suede chukka coming soon....

wtf should i wear to my gay wedding

Dear ESB,

I'm getting married next summer and I have no idea wtf to wear. Not a wedding dress. I'm queer and sorta butch, so dresses make me feel like I'm in drag. Problem is that full-on men's formal wear ALSO feels a little like drag (or like I'm wearing business clothes instead of party clothes?), plus it's going to be HOT where we're getting married and I'd rather not wear a jacket.

If you ask the internet for less-gendered-gay-wedding clothes everyone says "flowy white linen pants," which, barf. My everyday uniform is jeans, pearl snap shirt, bomber jacket, boots. I thought about finding some narrow pants I can wear with boots but then what do I wear on top? I'm not opposed to having something custom-made, but I'd have to figure out what.

(Additional wrinkle is that I'm short, size 8, and a total hourglass, so the loose vest and shirt thing like Patty did looks like I'm wearing a tent and a high-button vest just makes me look portly all the way down. Because I'm not thaaat butch, I'd rather show the curves than hide them, especially considering that hiding them is a losing proposition.)

In summary: is there anything I can wear that's medium-butch, hot-weather-friendly, looks good on short curvy ladies, and keeps things snazzy? Plz help. There is a serious lack of intermediate-gender fashion inspiration for the queer ladies.

*****

How bout this Arden Jumpsuit by Kara Janx?? I'd fucking marry you in this.

Kara annoys the crap out of me on Project Runway All Stars, but her bridal line doesn't suck. It's also quite reasonably priced.

Marcel Castenmiller by Jonas Kesseler for FHM Collections Germany via Fashion Gone Rogue

I've discovered the cure for writer's block

Lie in bed with a pad + pencil on the floor next to you.

That's it. 

Just lie there.

Allow yourself to doze.

Pretty soon you'll be writing stuff down, I swear to god.

NOTE: Your phone must be off and way the hell in the other room. No tweeting/checking email. This is an exercise in zen.

DIY Pixel Painting from Wit & Whistle via Pennyweight via Rachel Arnold

Pleez help the crazy lady shop for shoes

Good morning ESB,

This is about shoes and desperation and a plea for help. 

I'm a fairly tall bride at 5'10'' so I don't really need to wear heels. I'm also a bride with Morton's neuromas in both feet, actually in my right foot I have two, so I actually can't wear heels. 

I have been searching since my engagement in May 2010 for lovely flat shoes. It's my wedding, so I would like to wear some nice shoes and not the usual excruciatingly unfashionable orthopaedic ones I have to wear. I have seen shoes come and go. Three times I have found shoes which I love, only to have them cruelly (dramatic license here) snatched from me.

1. Steve Madden I-Dreemy - ordered in March 2011, never made it through customs. Now out of stock in my size.

2. Aruna Seth's butterfly ballet flats with a 20% discount - I phone to place my order, they don't have any in my size in stock, but will call me back when they do. Right as rain, a few weeks later I receive a call back to say that the shoes are in stock in my size, but by the way the price has now gone up by £100 (I sh*t you not) and would I still like to order them? Grrrr.

3. Just last Friday I ordered the low Darcy in pale pink from Beatrix Ong in their sale. I just got an email to say that although they were in stock when I placed my order there was a problem with the website and now they don't have any shoes to send me. I cried.

I am nearing the end of my tether. I have a budget of £100 to £150 which I think is about $150 to $200. I have size 7UK (9US, 40EU) feet. I need your and your stylish readers' help. Please.

Yours,
Crazy lady who keeps shouting at her feet in shoe shops

*****

Feel like helping out you guys?

I'm on a deadline today. Trying to stay off the old internets.

xoXXXXX.

Photo: Aurore by Céline Nieszawer via Dawn via The Shiny Squirrel

stack of wedding bands anyone?

Kathryn Bentley via Amra

Is it ok to sort of fire my wedding planner?

Dear ESB,

When we first started planning our wedding (2 years ago) we hired a wedding planner to ONLY help us find a venue. This was supposed to be a trial because we want a "day-of" planner. A friend of a friend recommended us to their friend. We started working with her and basically, she was no help AT ALL. We found the venue by ourselves.

Our wedding is coming up in 8 months and for months at a time she won't even respond to a "how are you?" sort of email. I've even asked her where we should send a check to pay for the venue "help" she gave us and she still hasn't told me. Sometimes she'll message me, wanting to meet. I meet with her, she promises to help with setting up appointments with caterers or florists but then falls through. She hasn't done anything that's helped us! But she still totally expects to be our "day-of" planner!

She just messaged me this week that she fell through because her aunt just passed away. I also found out (through the friend of a friend) that her boyfriend of over 5 years broke up with her. I understand that it must be a REALLY hard time for her and I've emailed her my condolences. I'm a BIG family person so I totally understand that family comes first.

But at the same time... I need someone that I feel is dependable to help us on the day of our wedding!

Is it ok to sort of let her go? How do you politely fire someone after they've told you that they're having such a hard time? I don't want to be a diva-bride-bitch. I feel really bad for her. Also, her prices are pretty much the same as anyone else and we haven't signed a contract. It was simply implied that we would use her. I had previously tried to tell her that we would no longer need her services but she didn't get the hint even though I was pretty blunt. So whatever way I try to fire her (if I even should) needs to be nice but still painfully obvious what's going on.

Thanks for the help,
The Lone Planner

*****

A wedding planner needs to respond to your email BEFORE YOU EVEN SEND IT.

Sorry, but come on.

Tell her you're seeing someone else. That's the only thing that ever works with men who won't get the hint.

YSL Coat Dress by Teri Chung via because im addicted

Hippie-Inspired Buddhist Wedding featuring a GENUINE VINTAGE Dress

Hi East Side Bride,

I am a California girl trapped in Pennsylvania where I moved for a job. I am a writer (my novella California was published by LA record label Teenage Teardrops) and teach creative writing at a small liberal arts college. I love what I do, and jobs are scarce, so here I am. 

My parents got married super hippie style on a cliff in Arcata, CA where I was born in the 70's and that has always been my idea of perfect. My dad wore a cape. We wanted to do something in California and something in Pennsylvania where my husband Neil is from, something super intimate and as stress free as possible, and something later where all our friends and family could be together. We decided to have a small private ceremony in December in Marin County at Spirit Rock Meditation Center with three witness, and have a reception for family and friends in May 2012. It worked out great. 

My meditation teacher offered to marry us while teaching a retreat on a hillside on this incredible preserved land -- rolling golden hills, wild turkey, deer, live oak trees, bliss. Her hair just happened to match my bouquet that day. We were lucky on a lot of counts: great weather, all three witnesses were talented photographers, we didn't have to deal with any one else's input, or go into massive amounts of debt. I've never been excited by traditional wedding gowns, and it turned out my mom had saved this old vintage dress of hers that I think I wore for Halloween one year in high school. Luckily I didn't mind that it had holes and had yellowed over the years, and amazingly enough it still fit. 

We spent four days in San Francisco with friends, I did a reading the public library there, got an incredible bouquet of ranunculus, peonies, and thistle at Bell & Trunk Flowers, and then we headed over the Golden Gate. We stayed at the Olema Cottages which couldn't have been more charming, and had a knock out meal at the Olema Inn. We splurged on rings designed by my incredibly talented pal Kathryn Bentley, and I bought some hooker-y red suede platform heels that I wore for only about 20 mins because I needed to keep my boots on for scaling the hills. All these photos attached were taken in a quick 15-minute rush to catch the light. 

Needless to say, we were really happy with our choices.

Thank you for having the only decent wedding blog. The rest of them make me barf.

♥

(Photos by Eugene Ahn and Joanne Kim)

The Thunder

Is that tie pure sex, or is it PURE SEX?

Shop Pierrepont Hicks

This Is Not Vintage Wedding Photography

Noa got a lil bee in her bonnet about.... Well, you'll see. And she asked me if I'd let her write a post.

I said FUCK YES. Obv.

I have been shooting "vintage"-inspired photography since I was at least 14 or so. As one of the first photographers in the alternative wedding industry to be labeled a "Vintage Photographer," I was proud and happy to see that people were categorizing my work this way and that they were clearly able to see my influences. 

But in the past few years, the Alternative or Vintage Wedding thing has grown into its own mainstream. And once something is mainstream it doesn't need a name anymore, except for maybe "mainstream." It's kind of like what happened with the alternative music scene back in the 90's: eventually every band started sounding "alternative" and everyone started listening to that type of music, which made the whole thing NOT alternative anymore.

The way the word "vintage" is used lacks accuracy most of the time, and can actually suppress creativity, as opposed to how it helped open a new route for creative expression back when I started....  If anything is slightly inspired by a bygone era, we slap the word "vintage" on it. 

If you score a beautiful wedding dress from the 1930's on Etsy, it's a vintage dress. Awesome. If you use mason jars for your centerpieces, it's not vintage, it's Martha Stewart. There is nothing vintage about the balloons in your engagement photos. Air plants aren't vintage. If you process your digital images to look like film, well so does everyone else these days, so let's not call it vintage. And if you shoot actual film, that's not vintage, it's film. If you found some fabric from the 1960's to use as a backdrop, that fabric is vintage. If you have a tattoo, that's not vintage, it's a tattoo. If you throw a swing-dance-party-themed-wedding, right on, but it's Retro, not vintage. If the vibe is Old Hollywood Glam, then call it Old Hollywood Glam. If you and all your hippie friends run around naked in the forest and eat shrooms after your ceremony -- your wedding is a Hippie Wedding (and you NEED to hire me to shoot that!). If you have a photography site and you are influenced by old photos, we should be able to tell that by looking at your work -- you don't have to tell us it's vintage. Please reduce the use of the V-word. 

And, I would like to present the following idea to all creatives in the industry: what if you remove the word "vintage" from your info/description page on your web site (unless of course, you rent actual vintage items out or something) -- would you still feel fully confident that your work speaks for itself? 

Since "vintage"-influenced wedding design/style/photography is now fully mainstream for us, isn't it redundant? If we don't use it to describe our own work, we can have more freedom to be influenced by anything, and therefore we can have more space to allow our creativity to go wherever it wants to... Which is how this whole current movement began. I propose we use "Progressive Wedding Industry" instead. I like that, and it's accurate.

Vintage used to be a word that signified imagination. It meant that interesting and artistic people could actually express their own taste, personality and ideas in their non-traditional & non-generic weddings. This "new" (ironically, the exact opposite of the word vintage) wedding movement was an alternative to the boring, traditional weddings that were leftover from the 90's and all the cheesy things that went along with them. Nowadays, we're all creative and everyone is influenced by old stuff, so it's embedded into what we do. Therefore making the V-word superfluous.

If you are using the word "vintage" to describe anything but an item that is actually old, you are probably overusing the word. If you frequently use the term "vintage-inspired," you are probably, no definitely, overusing it.

(All photos by Noa Azoulay-Sclater of Feather Love)

tell me what i need to wear.

Dear ESB,

Here's the set up:

- Rustic old church.

- Barn Reception.
- Summer.

Here's the dress (more or less, I'm using it as inspiration to make my dress):

Here's the Jewelry:

engagement ring

other ring

arrow cuff bracelet

gold wire bracelet

and some of these enamel cuffs

Now, I've hit a wall:

I need shoes, and a goddamn necklace.

Help a sister out.

Sincerely,

i might be barefoot.

*****

you do NOT need a necklace. you've got pleeeeeeeeeenty of accessories going on already.


But here are your shoes:

I nailed it, right? Feel free to tell me that I nailed it.

Wanna know how I did it? I typed "sandals" into google images. 

Boom.