tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post8190734370376280795..comments2024-03-24T23:51:25.945-07:00Comments on east side bride: Dear ESB: Does she have to be my bridesmaid?esbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-39185066509422919092012-01-15T14:52:12.749-08:002012-01-15T14:52:12.749-08:00This "friend" sounds like trouble. Leave...This "friend" sounds like trouble. Leave her out of your wedding party. No one with any sense will ask why you didn't include her. And no, ESB is right, it is no one's business who you choose to be in your wedding party.Kareninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06216956152861247290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-33894989796235350312012-01-13T13:32:16.073-08:002012-01-13T13:32:16.073-08:00If you expect this girl to fly half way around the...If you expect this girl to fly half way around the world for you, the least you can do for her is allow her to stand beside you in an ugly dress and shower you with attention. For god's sake.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-38114830739452080712012-01-13T12:39:34.346-08:002012-01-13T12:39:34.346-08:00Hmmm... Personally I would not include her and may...Hmmm... Personally I would not include her and maybe say that you needed all of your bridesmaids to be living near you to help plan. You could also say that you didn't have enough money to cover her dress and flowers. Or you could simply tell the truth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-67684301264924700302012-01-12T15:37:06.395-08:002012-01-12T15:37:06.395-08:00No she does not have to be a bridesmaid. I had a f...No she does not have to be a bridesmaid. I had a friend from childhood that I chose to include... big mistake. We WERE close in elementary school but then we just grew apart checking in on bdays and such. Worst mistake was including her in my wedding. She called me bridezilla and made fun of me on my wedding day. She picked fights with me and my moh and tried to cancel my bridal shower. <br /><br />Your bridal party should be made up of people you care about.Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14634157239022619866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-17958452748420968772012-01-12T12:34:35.707-08:002012-01-12T12:34:35.707-08:00yep. it just appeared last night. WOOT!yep. it just appeared last night. WOOT!esbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-45027722267508451572012-01-12T12:32:50.127-08:002012-01-12T12:32:50.127-08:00WHOA. It just showed up on my blog too. Blogger fi...WHOA. It just showed up on my blog too. Blogger finally got with the program, I guess. Thank god. No more @'s necessary.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06819528155575569595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-58543306019033623352012-01-12T12:29:08.519-08:002012-01-12T12:29:08.519-08:00yeah, the only time i recommend just sucking it up...yeah, the only time i recommend just sucking it up and having someone you aren't thrilled about is when it's a family member and it would cause more annoyance/drama/effort to exclude the person than it would be to include them. a friend? who cares if people wonder?<br /><br />@ esb - how did you get a reply function to work? i have been researching that FOREVER and have always failed.Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06819528155575569595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-65432221865831062282012-01-12T07:44:25.610-08:002012-01-12T07:44:25.610-08:00ok - it sounds a little d-baggy... BUT it wasn'...ok - it sounds a little d-baggy... BUT it wasn't in the parking lot, it was under a lovely apple tree at a picnic table and she ended up making a PARTY out of it... everyone would drop their shit off in their cabins and ended up going back down to her perch with bottles of booze and they were kicking it til 3am.... After the rehearsal dinner we all went over to join in. She was pretty stoked to have created the non-rehearsal dinner party vibe.austehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08609019103927394835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-20905253358708669222012-01-12T07:17:25.355-08:002012-01-12T07:17:25.355-08:00amen.amen.see you down the aislehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07973187131716135612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-12413991674440801782012-01-11T20:38:06.296-08:002012-01-11T20:38:06.296-08:00YES IT ISYES IT ISesbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-2455158979841119532012-01-11T15:04:47.104-08:002012-01-11T15:04:47.104-08:00Don't ask her to be in your wedding if your co...Don't ask her to be in your wedding if your concern is that people will ask you why she isn't a bridesmaid if you choose not to have her as one. Do you really have that many friends that would bring a subject like that up? If so, they lack tact, and it doesn't matter what they think b/c it's not their wedding. <br /><br />If your concern is that, by not asking her, you will damage your relationship with her. Then this deserves more thought.Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04063946647677566193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-76027349999076193802012-01-11T14:44:40.952-08:002012-01-11T14:44:40.952-08:00i think if your first instinct was to not include ...i think if your first instinct was to not include her and you're currently trying to justify why you should have her in the bridal party, then i think that's your answer. you don't really want her as a bridesmaid and that's ok. as i'm planning my own wedding, i realise how much it becomes about what other people want and not what you want.SJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11638931178712128465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-64122482987279423362012-01-11T13:07:10.824-08:002012-01-11T13:07:10.824-08:00Can we just talk about the photos you included wit...Can we just talk about the photos you included with this post for a second? Ah-may-zing. So many hearts.snarkycatnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-50098518890894115502012-01-11T12:57:56.124-08:002012-01-11T12:57:56.124-08:00auste: You 'included' your old bestie by g...auste: You 'included' your old bestie by giving her the opportunity to hang out by herself in a parking lot with a bottle of wine and give people directions? Ouch.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-78724146193916281372012-01-11T12:17:13.088-08:002012-01-11T12:17:13.088-08:00I didn't include my old childhood bestie. I wa...I didn't include my old childhood bestie. I was torn about it for a while. But when it came down to it - we're not as close as we once were, and I have other friends who have filled her role for the past (almost) 10 years. I did ask her to be involved in another way - we got hitched at my old summer camp, and friday evening as we were rehearsal dinner-ing, I asked her to be the camp check-in coordinator (essentially, I parked her at the entrance of camp with a bottle of wine and she told people which cabins they were staying in as they arrived)... Even though she felt a little shafted (and yes, people asked - but not as much as I was expecting), it helped lessen the blow giving her other responsibilities. Bottom line - it's only drama if you give in to the drama. Do what makes you happy.austehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08609019103927394835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-86767982867111403402012-01-11T11:52:20.406-08:002012-01-11T11:52:20.406-08:00What ESB and Anon 8:05 and EyeHeartLife said.What ESB and Anon 8:05 and EyeHeartLife said.Sadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05970457532005085242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-45439469585858728942012-01-11T11:43:56.749-08:002012-01-11T11:43:56.749-08:00agree agree agree, the effort it took to write thi...agree agree agree, the effort it took to write this post is more than this question deserves.Catonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16806931196513684021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-43287395063164443482012-01-11T11:02:40.021-08:002012-01-11T11:02:40.021-08:00I agree you shouldn't have her in the wedding ...I agree you shouldn't have her in the wedding party if you don't want to, but it is making quite a statement to her - sort of a defining moment in the relationship. Sometimes including someone because it's 'easier' than not will just take some of the pressure off, just hold your breath and hope she's an adult throughout the whole thing. I've asked my crazy sister because normal expectations would indicate that I should, and it means enough to her that it's actually been sort of worth it. She's stepping up to the role.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-87104451932315766082012-01-11T10:57:26.752-08:002012-01-11T10:57:26.752-08:00Just be clear with her. Tell her straight-out how ...Just be clear with her. Tell her straight-out how you feel. Tell her that you care about her but don't feel as close as you once were. <br /><br />Then tell others BEFORE the wedding (and before she has time to get to people if she's upset). Keep this simple, as someone else said above: "We aren't as close as we once were."<br /><br />Honestly, I relate to her desire just to put the past behind her. I'm not the type of person who likes to talk everything out (both my husband and one of my best friends ARE those kind of people, though, so I often have to do it anyway). It probably was not her explicit intention to be an "intermediary" and she probably just wants to not have weird feelings. <br /><br />Anyway, you get to decide how YOU feel and how YOU deal with it all.Hillary Schusterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03874750431495369292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-7207621134871372182012-01-11T10:25:57.200-08:002012-01-11T10:25:57.200-08:00No, she doesn't. You're welcome!No, she doesn't. You're welcome!Marie-Èvehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00174894872050076618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-88452273203949364832012-01-11T10:19:07.564-08:002012-01-11T10:19:07.564-08:0025 year rule. Think of yourself looking at your we...25 year rule. Think of yourself looking at your wedding photos 25 years from now and how you'll feel. Then make your decision.myopicfriendhttp://myopicfriend.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-7340410231663232122012-01-11T10:10:54.656-08:002012-01-11T10:10:54.656-08:00We all need to learn how to deal with changing fri...We all need to learn how to deal with changing friendships and nosey people. Here's your chance. <br /><br />Trust ESB on this one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-15849788862042493332012-01-11T10:09:45.533-08:002012-01-11T10:09:45.533-08:00These clothes are really doing it for me.These clothes are really doing it for me.wool and mischttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14236788626234431666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-35269543106932618552012-01-11T09:48:59.903-08:002012-01-11T09:48:59.903-08:00That dress with green shoes and all would make for...That dress with green shoes and all would make for one badass bride...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-10069430079510350332012-01-11T09:15:43.371-08:002012-01-11T09:15:43.371-08:00Exactly what ESB and Anon 8:05 said.Exactly what ESB and Anon 8:05 said.Toniahttp://www.ittybittyimpact.comnoreply@blogger.com