tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post2382967265315731717..comments2024-03-24T23:51:25.945-07:00Comments on east side bride: white girl problemsesbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-30890920720707888682014-02-20T20:22:44.288-08:002014-02-20T20:22:44.288-08:00THANKYOU. THANKYOU. Launoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-9564195134704101562014-02-20T20:19:47.973-08:002014-02-20T20:19:47.973-08:00Um...did you guys READ the question? She's not...Um...did you guys READ the question? She's not saying other people are telling her this feeling is 'dumb' she's saying she thinks it is 'dumb' and wants to get over it. <br /><br />Did you read the advice? ESB is saying that this kind of feeling is not going to be 'fixed' by something, you either get over it and break up, or get over is and don't break up. Those are the two likely options. <br /><br />He went into the relationship saying he doesn't believe in the idea of marriage. She went in thinking she could take it or leave it. Now she wants to get married, and he still doesn't. <br /><br />How is that 'a classic case of someone trying to de-validate a woman's feelings'?<br /><br />Am I the only one who read the post that way?Lauhttp://www.corridorkitchen.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-90105260969729425292014-02-13T06:14:57.009-08:002014-02-13T06:14:57.009-08:00TO ESB: get over yourself.
To the original questi...TO ESB: get over yourself.<br /><br />To the original questioner why post your question to from someone whose blog says it’s “an evil club of mean hipster brides”<br /><br />You can’t expect anything better than this sort of answer, really. I hope you can take what the other advice that was supportive and helpful to heart. Most of the responses here are clearly one or the other: hateful and spiteful or caring and supportive.<br /><br />As a psychiatrist, a doctor who prescribes medicine for true emotional illnesses, I say don’t turn this into your problem, it’s his and the best advice I read (until I got sick of reading negativity) was:<br /><br />“Nope , this is a classic case of someone trying to de-validate a woman's feelings. No one has the right to tell you wanting to get married is a stupid feeling. I don't care what people say. Knowing someone is legally (and potentially spiritually) committed to you for life does change a relationship, even in subtle ways. If he doesn't give a shit, then it should be easy to do what is important to you. And he if is really opposed to marriage when you want it, then the question would be why? Don't tell your gut to be quiet. This is your life.”<br /><br />Well said.Kanchan Mahonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07826657437988205466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-19243064163447465562014-02-13T05:54:47.883-08:002014-02-13T05:54:47.883-08:00Calling someone a rat and marriage a narcotic sure...Calling someone a rat and marriage a narcotic sure doesn’t sound like you are showing any respect for this person, or for marriage, so your sarcastic "all said with the utmost respect for marriage btw.” is probably the least respectful statement in that response. <br /><br />Get over yourself and don’t bother invalidating another person’s feelings just to make your morning a little brighter.<br /><br />Kanchan Mahonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07826657437988205466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-8751694705512614472014-02-12T15:41:48.434-08:002014-02-12T15:41:48.434-08:00My lifesaver has been rizatriptan... they have com...My lifesaver has been rizatriptan... they have come a long way since they tried prescribing my 8 year old self codeine for migraines way back in the day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-88710355460965849562014-02-10T14:01:50.136-08:002014-02-10T14:01:50.136-08:00Hang on. This person had such issues with migraine...Hang on. This person had such issues with migraines that he cut out quinoa and had his wife call an intuitive mind reader and yet he had never thought "hey maybe it's got something to do with sleep"?!?! WebMD could tell you that shit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-50516070756913294592014-02-10T13:44:57.699-08:002014-02-10T13:44:57.699-08:00when i first glanced at this post, having not read...when i first glanced at this post, having not read it, and saw the migraine talk i was reminded of a conversation with a friend who paid to have a call with a person who reads you... i don't know. not your aura. it isn't even in person. i think it's intuitive reading? so you send her a photo then you have 30 minutes to ask her questions about your life. like, should i make this career choice i am considering. she showed the intuitive reader a photo of her husband and asked about his migraines, after exhausting so many roads. including but not limited to going totally grain free. (like no quinoa, which blows my mind.) the intuitive pointed to sleep, i don't know the details, but i guess it's actually led to some progress. anyways when i read the actual letter i thought, hey she SHOULD call an intuitive reader!<br /><br />just saying. could help. jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15103047512463828864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-55933312983397467172014-02-10T13:40:51.951-08:002014-02-10T13:40:51.951-08:00Agreed. 100%. Don't leave us!Agreed. 100%. Don't leave us!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-23255813364205662052014-02-10T09:08:28.795-08:002014-02-10T09:08:28.795-08:00Right? I mean I'm of the "that was terrib...Right? I mean I'm of the "that was terrible advice" opinion, but all the "stop blogging!!1!" shit is a little much. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-431669816341342012014-02-10T07:06:41.013-08:002014-02-10T07:06:41.013-08:00Ugh god, I hate when ESB posts advice like that. Y...Ugh god, I hate when ESB posts advice like that. You're so evolved that it's just that easy to do, isn't it, ESB? Why even post that e-mail? Glad to see a lot of the commenters agree.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-2646931545303698882014-02-09T23:19:10.046-08:002014-02-09T23:19:10.046-08:00Yes. This. It was so strange, so lame, so sad. ...Yes. This. It was so strange, so lame, so sad. The migraines thing and blowing people's problems off didn't bother me, but that was just fucking offensive. It's nice and all that ESB apologizes to the Anon who calls her out, but like, apologize to the OP pls? Or don't. It's the internet. <br /><br />And yeah I think ESB is a little bit done with the blog, which is fine. Make a new one about yoga or pricey minimalist home decor or something. I won't read it, but it will know what it is, and it won't disappoint people for that reason.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-80125008770822519092014-02-09T19:52:03.411-08:002014-02-09T19:52:03.411-08:00Yeah, this got real ugly, real fast. You can disag...Yeah, this got real ugly, real fast. You can disagree with ESB's advice, but jesus. She's human. No wonder she doesn't want to do wedding shit anymore. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-72120606033469782032014-02-09T19:51:34.098-08:002014-02-09T19:51:34.098-08:00This. 100% this.This. 100% this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-19086030203608733202014-02-09T16:04:35.214-08:002014-02-09T16:04:35.214-08:00ESB - I (and many many others - just maybe not so ...ESB - I (and many many others - just maybe not so many on this post) love your work, and know you are a fucking real person who has off days or just plain makes mistakes. This post is not even necessarily either of those things, but I thought it was worth saying if allt he "die blog die" from people reading of their own free Will was getting a bit much.<br /><br />I hope you keep writing, including about wedding stuff.<br /><br />People have to accept they are asking for advice on the internet (...!) and will get what they damn well get. You're not their registered health professional!<br /><br />You have nasty days and loving days. Don't we all.<br /><br />Please keep it up!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-72862170002741798172014-02-09T01:08:17.355-08:002014-02-09T01:08:17.355-08:00+1 that thinks you should better quit blogging if ...+1 that thinks you should better quit blogging if you don't care anymore (and you obviously don't).<br /><br />to the OP: good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-66109559039258547382014-02-08T21:00:17.911-08:002014-02-08T21:00:17.911-08:00Dear ESB, This was a really vicious response. You...Dear ESB, This was a really vicious response. Your evilness is no longer fun. Get over your mean, hipster self. And I'm no White Girl. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-3667834633426362552014-02-08T19:35:36.591-08:002014-02-08T19:35:36.591-08:00This poster is probably creating a GOMI thread abo...This poster is probably creating a GOMI thread about ESB as we speak. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-13912568732568349922014-02-08T14:24:25.978-08:002014-02-08T14:24:25.978-08:00<3<3esbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-49965179841788597222014-02-08T13:43:52.501-08:002014-02-08T13:43:52.501-08:00Hey, ESB. Anon 11:33 here. Thanks for responding...Hey, ESB. Anon 11:33 here. Thanks for responding to my comment.<br /><br />I think I'm feeling vulnerable and sensitive because of that xoJane post about black women and yoga (ugh). I can't go to yoga? I can't read ESB or ask public questions about my sometimes dissatisfying relationship? What the f.<br /><br />Anyway, thanks. I appreciate it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-40167416667582921832014-02-08T13:41:38.464-08:002014-02-08T13:41:38.464-08:00I've really enjoyed this blog for the past yea...I've really enjoyed this blog for the past year that I've been wedding planning. I come for the snark, to be sure. But this fucking crosses a line. If the question doesn't interest you, don't publish it. Jesus, it's so clear you're done with this blog, ESB - just end it. Give it a dignified death. You're acting like an immature partner in a dying relationship behaving like a dick until the other person breaks up with you instead of being a fucking adult and doing it yourself. Driving your readership away with (uncalled for) bitchiness and ennui. I'm out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-8470676306197326322014-02-08T12:23:40.117-08:002014-02-08T12:23:40.117-08:00It was a lame attempt at comedy. OF COURSE non-whi...It was a lame attempt at comedy. OF COURSE non-white women suffer from relationship angst. Also migraines.<br /><br />For alienating you, I genuinely apologize.esbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-24113571323640213492014-02-08T11:33:25.976-08:002014-02-08T11:33:25.976-08:00Wait. I know a couple people have commented on th...Wait. I know a couple people have commented on the inappropriate use of "white girl problems," but can we focus on this for a second?<br /><br />ESB-- why would you title this post "White Girl Problems?" Just, why? You had no idea whether the OP is white (she wrote that she isn't) and there was really no reason to go there.<br /><br />Non-white girls can have stupid problems. Non-white girls can be mean hipster brides, too. As a sort of non-white ESB reader, I find this weirdly alienating. <br /><br />Why couldn't it be "Privileged 20-Something Woman Problems," or "Stupid Almost-Engaged Woman Problems" or anything else, really? Why the fuck did it need to be about whiteness or non-whiteness?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-66089759647971591452014-02-08T10:08:03.311-08:002014-02-08T10:08:03.311-08:00I lived with a man for five years who 'didn...I lived with a man for five years who 'didn't believe in marriage.' Who told me that it wasn't going to happen, although he was happier than he'd ever been. And then he was less happy for reasons that I couldn't change [namely, me] and then he just - walked out. <br /><br />This is a huge deal, ESB. Huge. Personally, I would never go into that situation again. Because it's a giant red flag that your feelings aren't important enough to consider or work through. Just saying. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-86227693558728417582014-02-07T13:30:50.907-08:002014-02-07T13:30:50.907-08:00She also said "I really do want to marry him....She also said "I really do want to marry him." Like it or not, she's not getting over this until it is addressed and until she stops calling it a "dumb feeling." Being anxious about important life stuff that affects you and the people around you and IGNORING it is what teenagers do. Addressing it head on is what adults do. But sure, switch to decaf and read a magazine. Suppress what's important to you in order to maintain a false sense of peace in your relationship. I'm sure that'll work out just fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-22363038331873459862014-02-07T12:18:10.128-08:002014-02-07T12:18:10.128-08:00Where did you all come from? APW?????
She didn...Where did you all come from? APW?????<br /><br />She didn't ask, "Is it valid for me, as a woman, to feel feelings about getting married?" she asked HOW DO I GET OVER THISAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com